"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
and I could easily lose my mind; the way you kiss me will work each time calling me to come back to bed, singing Georgia on my mind
He doesn't feel bad for spending more time in Hyaline than Tephra, since the change. How could he when this place contains nearly every member of his family, and all the people who shaped his childhood? Although he walks now in an unfamiliar land, his mind is entirely on the beach, the last place he remembers being truly happy. Even though he'd had so much drama there that it felt like he might burst, what is happening now makes that day seem like... nothing.
He had such drama with girlfriends, with boyfriends - now the only things on his mind are his family. Polar-bear shifting best friend included. His love interests will have to wait until later... For how long, he does not know.
It is not long before he finds Warlight and Sviko, both of them together and clearly in a heated discussion. Rhaegor joins them and momentarily puts their thoughts on pause as they all embrace, a strange feeling of reassembly going through each of them as their trio is completed again. It has been some time since Rhae left for Tephra, and none of them can deny that it feels good to be with one another once more, even temporarily.
The three then continue to speak in low voices of the change and of the plague, of their new home (whether they choose to stay or not as of yet undecided) and of the wisdom of mothers' moves, politically. In fact, their talk trickles from minutes to hours as fluidly as the sun drops from overhead to eye-level; Rhae feels drained by the time they decide to break up their group, each of them again in turn embracing and saying subdued farewells.
They are not the happy trio who ran to the lake and explored, so long ago. But they are still as one; they are still each other's.
Spreading his wings, Rhaegor soon thinks better of his plan and decides to stay the night in The Sanctuary. He's not intending to run into anyone at this late hour, and presumes that all shall be asleep; as such, he meanders through the unknown land aimlessly, feeling utterly alone despite his reunion with the others.
11-11-2018, 12:11 AM (This post was last modified: 11-11-2018, 12:12 AM by Dawn.)
Dawn
we're a flame in the wind
This place doesn’t feel like home.
It’s truly amazing to the girl, how much Hyaline already feels like home to her. Maybe one day, once she’s older, she can join the diplomatic caste of the kingdom. Or the army? Her bear is strong, but on her own she is not nearly as powerful... and her bear is still hard to control. Maybe being a diplomat would become her; maybe she’d learn who she’s truly meant to be. As an added bonus, it would allow her to travel around to other lands and kingdoms as well, and it would allow the bear to be satisfied living within her, instead of her trying to control it.
She doesn’t know yet that Rhaegor has relocated himself to Hyaline; as far as she knows he is still the prince here, being raised by his parents in the beautiful land he had described to her on so many occasions. In her mind he will live in this place eternally, eventually raising children with one of his several girlfriends (yes, she knows about them, too) and perhaps even inheriting the throne once his mothers move on.
That is far in the future, though—they are just teenagers now and much too young to think of futures as leaders or parents. Sunny may have his pick of the ladies to choose from, but Cress knows that young romances tend to break and crumble; she has heard her mother tell the tale of Flamevein one too many times, and even the tales of her own father make Dawn sad. Where is he now? She’d love to know. He broke her poor mother’s heart; a heart that had been burned and broken too many times.
The dark sky seems to echo her mood as she wanders this new land aimlessly, her hooves sinking into the sand as waves crash on the beach. She is lonely here—she had hardly made new friends before the plague struck!—but she is trying to make the most of it. It’s a beautiful place, even she had to admit, but it just feels empty to her. She hasn’t even seen Sunny yet since she’s been here, and she’s so scared for him.
Faint hoofbeats and the rustle of wings grabs at her attention, and she jerks her head in the direction of the sounds. A soft whinny echoes over the beach as she calls to the other horse, and she trots towards it, hoping against all hopes that it’s her Sunny.
It is.
She almost collapses into him in relief, but instead settles for an overjoyed embrace. Her lips graze the base of his neck and she almost cries. He’s here, he’s okay. “Sunny,” she murmurs into his mane, wishing she had wings to engulf him in. “Oh, Rhae, you’re okay, you’re alive.”
and I could easily lose my mind; the way you kiss me will work each time calling me to come back to bed, singing Georgia on my mind
Given half a minute of consideration, it becomes obvious that his best friend has plotted out his life more thoroughly than she has. Dawn sees him as king one day, as a father to one of his so called girlfriend's (that she should not consider herself one of them is a tribute to the blindness of friendship and youth) children, happy and stoic and silent. Rhae himself barely knows what his next day is going to look like, never mind what his life might shape up to be; all he knows is that he has friends who are infinitely too good for him, who do for him acts of service that he can never hope to repay them for.
And yet, it is a tribute to her optimism and her grace that she sees such a delightful future for him; for she has come from a broken family, or at least, she knows of her family's broken history. Rhaegor has alone known the unity of his mothers. Yes, they have their drama, what with each of them having children from other stallions, but he had been raised alongside those children such that the rifts were only seen and not felt. Abysm, Velk, and Valdis were as much his siblings as Warlight and Sviko; in this way, he comes from a place that merits him having an optimistic outlook on his future; and yet he doesn't, and this sweet, darling girl does.
A call rings out across the salty earth of the Cove, coming from the direction of the ocean; he barely hears it over the crashing of the waves, but by the grace of the gods, he does. Halting, the prince feels for a moment his exhaustion all too heavily; but when a figure appears and gradually becomes the form of Dawn, the fatigue lifts, as if the girl brings with her an invaluable clarity.
He stumbles to close the distance between them, failing to account for the lay of the land in his haste to be with her. When they meet, the first thing they do is embrace, each holding the weight of the other and in turn bestowing their weight, too. A mutual understanding. An equal trust. Her pale yellow skin reminds him of her namesake, causing the boy to squeeze his eyes shut as tears threaten to spill down that very same skin. Trembling, his lips move against her in silent prayer, a thanks to whatever gods remain in the wasteland for this small miracle.
"Dawny," he answers, voice raw with emotion (and with plague). A cool wind blows, but he finds its effect negligible with his best friend so close. "Yes, yes, I'm okay - and you are too." He pulls her closer one last time, body shaking with the effort, before stepping back to consider the shifter's lovely countenance. She is not strikingly beautiful like Chryseis, but instead radiates the quiet grace of one who understands more than she ought to - and that in and of itself inspires a kind of affection in Rhaegor, and admiration that he holds for now but her.
"Dawn, I'm sorry I left - I had to go to Tephra... And I've decided to stay, and now I - I - it's not my place to ask you to come with me." The tears that were in his eyes before return full force, spilling over his cheeks; he doesn't duck his head to hide them, knowing that in the presence of Dawn, his emotions are safe. "But I wish I could. I miss you. God, I just want you safe."
in the cold light of day we're a flame in the wind, not the fire that we've begun
Dawn didn’t realize that it was Sunny’s intention to leave Hyaline. Certainly, for political trips he would travel to other kingdoms, but to leave the beautiful kingdom permanently? The thought had never crossed the young bear's mind. Mayhaps she had planned out an entire future for the young stallion, and it involved Hyaline, and maybe she had been too hasty in planning her and her friend’s futures, but she never imagined that it involved anything but the kingdom she has made her home in.
That was the entire point of her coming to Hyaline.
So they could build each other up and create their own happy endings.
How could she have known that Rhaegor’s happy ending existed outside of the land he had spoken so highly of? The kingdom that she had fallen in love with just from the stories he told... and he doesn’t even live here anymore.
His voice is raw as he murmurs her name, but she doesn’t think of the plague; she thinks of the force in which her name was whispered against her skin, and she trembles as the tears threaten to overflow. He grips her more tightly—only briefly—and then steps back, and the cool breeze that had been blowing turns icy as his warmth withdraws. She quivers and then the tears fall, the small rejection of touch (though he had not meant it as such) overwhelming the already exhausted and terrified Dawn.
He is crying, too, as he tells her of his departure to Tephra, and Dawn has to swallow a sob as her beloved Sunny cries. She longs to embrace him again, to take away his pain, but a small nagging voice at the back of her mind tells her that he had pulled away, he doesn’t want her touch, even though he feels safe enough to cry in her presence.
The force of her emotions is almost enough to knock her over, but she reins them in as she draws herself up, trying unsuccessfully to stop the tears. “Rhae,” she murmurs, knowing that it is too late; too late to stop him, too late for anything. “Rhae, it is selfish of me to want you to stay... I want you to be happy.” Her voice breaks and for once she is the one who is rendered mute, as the strength flees her muscles and she begins to shake. Stop it, girl, you’re the only one who’s going to end up hurt.
She takes a single step forward and touches her muzzle to his neck, wishing she could telepathically say the words that refuse to come to her lips. You deserve better, you have better, you need better.
and I could easily lose my mind; the way you kiss me will work each time calling me to come back to bed, singing Georgia on my mind
Although tears prick at his own eyes, surprise jolts through Rhaegor at the sight of the same falling from Dawn's normally warm brown ones. A gut-wrenching confusion fills the boy, accentuating his stuttering voice as he tries to explain himself and the situation; but there's no way to frame this which stops him from being the villain. Before the girl opposite him even speaks, he recognizes his own shortcomings, and laments them. Oh God, he thinks, stomach dropping, I abandoned her, I abandoned my best friend.
She says his birth name, and the feelings of guilt intensify. "Dawny," he pleads, head tilting and tears dropping as if by saying her childish nickname, she might fall back into saying his, too. But she only repeats herself, and Rhae's chin flinches back towards his throat, the use of the name he'd once tried to communicate through a beam of light now a laser through his heart. That day in the playground seems a million lifetimes ago now, though; and he wonders if even a particle of him is the same now as it was then.
A hard swallow, though the lump in his throat barely obliges him this. Similarly, the stallion's eyes fail to meet the filly's as she calls herself selfish and praises him for his happiness; a combination of hurt feelings and of roiling shame mix within Rhaegor, forming something darker than he'd yet felt within himself. He wants to scream, but he only stares at the rock-strewn earth in silent misery.
As silence grows between them (awkwardly, for the first time since they met), a frown builds across the pegasus' brow. Seconds pass as the creases deepen before he glances up to the sight of Dawn trembling in the wind, perhaps a testament to the contagion, though he knows it is only a testament to the ways in which he has managed to break her. An apology ghosts across his lips at this thought, but try as he might, the words refuse to fall; instead, his jaw tightens around the words, locking them away and promising to never release them.
But Dawn steps forward, then, and the stallion visibly relaxes. The Warlander extends her pretty yellow nose, pressing it finally against the warmth and muscle of his neck. No hesitation marks Rhae's movements as he again encapsulates his best friend in his embrace, a hard, heavy sigh weighing into her as he loosens his muscles and drops his heart in her hands. Useless boy, burdening lovely girls who deserve better, who have better, who need better; when will he learn?
in the cold light of day we're a flame in the wind not the fire that we've begun
I love you, Dawn.
The words carry softly over the inches between them, and Dawn feels something breaking and pulling away. She had faltered in using his childhood nickname, and it doesn’t escape her that for once he had called her just Dawn, not Dawny. They are embracing again, but through her tears Dawn couldn’t tell when he had stepped back into her arms, or when she had moved to drape her head over his withers, pulling him as tightly to her as she could.
She wants to respond to him, to tell him that she loves her Sunny more than anything else in the world, more than her bear, more than Hyaline, more than this stupid Cove; the words harden in her throat and she closes her eyes, fighting back more tears. Stop this, rings the voice in her head, the voice of her bear, and she draws in a deep breath, willing herself to calm down. Sunny is going through enough without her adding to it and making it worse.
And then, splitting the silence that has fallen: Come to Tephra with me.
She chuckles softly, though there is no humor in it, nor was there any humor in his suggestion. Come to Hyaline, you’ll love it here. Follow me to Tephra, I live there now and you should come see. And when you grow tired of Tephra? she wants to ask. Will you beg me to follow you to your new hunting grounds?
But the words will hurt him, and she has never been one to purposefully cause pain. So the words remain unsaid, locked away just as he had locked away his apology to her just moments ago. “Sunny,” she whispers finally, and her lips find a piece of his mane. She tugs on it gently, as they used to when they were foals, then lets the hair fall from her lips with a sigh. “You know I love you so, so, so much.” But. There is always a “but”, and Dawn is no exception to the unspoken rule.
“But you have Chryseis.”
The name drop should come as no surprise to him—she had known all of the names of his girlfriends, his flings—but she pauses as she gauges his reaction. “What would she think... if I followed you everywhere, from land to land, like a lost puppy?” The tears return and she does nothing to stop them as they roll down her cheeks, staining his golden neck. She shakes with sobs that she cannot harness, and briefly—only briefly—her shape wavers, her golden coat flashing to ice white and back, the bear trying to draw her in and protect her from her own emotions.
“I am not a lost puppy, Sunny,” she tells him, knowing that the time has long passed for her to pull away, but she is unable to leave his comforting embrace. She needs this, as surely as the ocean before them needs the power of the moon to control the tides, and his touch is something she cannot bear to lose. “I can’t come between the two of you; you two are like Hyaline’s lake at sunrise and I am but a small river feeding the pool in comparison.”
She holds him as tightly as she can, tighter than she ever has; for half a heartbeat, the foolish prince thinks this a good sign. A sign that she loves him back, that she wants to accompany him to Tephra, and that everything will go back to the way things were before the onset of the Contagion. With this thought in mind, a smile ghosts across his lips, the expression the perfect image of triumph and self-righteous glory.
Flashing across his closed eyes, a vision of a rage-filled polar bear overtakes him, and the expression dies where it stands. Suddenly, it is as if that which he holds in his embrace is ash, threatening to rekindle into a full blown fire.
It takes everything for him not to withdraw, burnt by that which is to come.
Sunny. She tugs on his mane, like when they were kids. Rhae loosens his grip, resenting her fragility and kind countenance now that he knows how she truly feels. Or how she may truly feel. In the heat and rush of the moment, Rhae forgets to treat his precognition cautiously, taking the vision as law. Immediate law.
She says that she loves him too, and he knows it's true, but he wants to think otherwise.
But you have Chryseis.
"Bitch."
He doesn't think before he says it, but suddenly, he has. Ears pinned, his eyes flash to find Dawn's, wondering if she heard the insult, though the wind had picked up at the exact moment his half-mutter escaped him. Most times, people had a hard time hearing him when he meant for them too; in all likelihood, she hadn't heard him. Holding his breath, the brooding pegasus waits for her to react - but she only continues to explain herself, and somehow, that makes him hate himself more.
She deserves better. God fucking damnit.
Having pushed himself to the edge, if not over it by now, Rhae can barely contain the tears which swell in his eyes. She continues talking and he fails to understand her, though the sound of her perfect voice continues on in the background of his senses; lost puppy he hears, and again the image of the polar bear invades his consciousness.
And, with a bitter irony, her colour shifts, and her shape wavers. This he sees through the filmy glaze of his tears.
I am but a small river feeding the pool in comparison.
"Goodbye, Dawn." It's not enough, but he daren't say more. "I..." But he only shakes his head, biting his tongue and feeling the tears fall as his eyes squeeze shut.
He turns away.
The rest of his tears fall, cast down due to his realization that everything she said, every word of it, had been true. I love you, Dawn.
But his lover for her would never be enough.
...my name on your tongue and your tongue on my...
in the cold light of day we're a flame in the wind not the fire that we've begun
She can feel her very soul shattering, but there is nothing she can do to stop it.
She can feel him drawing away, and she doesn’t blame him. He is starting to tense all over—a vision, maybe?—and Dawn lets him draw back, shivering as they once again become two separate beings, the cold ocean winds threatening to sweep her away. She would let them at this point, as her misery has become her, but it is no one’s fault but her own. She doesn’t want to do this, doesn’t want to lose him, but what is the alternative? Living in someone else’s shadow for the rest of her life while he lives the life he’s always wanted?
He mutters something then, and though the wind tears the sound away from them and down the beach, the implication is there in his pinned ears and tense body language. She tries to ignore it, push it away, but the look on his face is frozen in the back of her mind and she cannot help the tears that continue to fall. Oh, she’s ruining everything, and the wave of self-loathing that rushes over her is almost enough to drag her under, to take her over. She nearly surrenders to the bear but instead tightens her hold on it, refusing to let it surface.
Unlike her mother, she is not full of fire and anger. She is ice and snow, storms and waves; there is no rage in her heart, no anger fueling her veins. She is not an avenging dragon; no, she is the opposite, drawn to the icy ocean and things that don’t belong to her.
Dawn will never lose the battle with her bear, despite what Sunny’s visions tell him.
The cracks between them is quickly growing into a canyon, and she can see the hurt and despair in his gaze as he murmurs the two words she never thought she’d hear him say: Goodbye, Dawn. She releases a strangled cry as he shakes his head and turns away, wanting to go to him but knowing how much worse she would make it if she did. She can tell by the gentle shake of his shoulders that he is crying again, a quieter and sadder crying that freezes her from the inside, ice pouring through her veins.
“Rhaegor.” His name is a quiet imploration for him to stay, and she is proud that her voice does not shake this time. She reaches for him but he cannot see her, and her touch falls short. Her energy—her willingness to fight—flees her and she sighs heavily, head drooping as she stares at the sand between her hooves.
“I have nothing if I lose you,” she whispers, unable to look up and see if he’s even still there. For all she knows he had slunk away, using the shifting sands to hide the sound of his footfalls. “And I cannot live with myself if I lose you. My Sunny, my Sunny. I have no claim to you but here I am.” She swallows hard as the words stick in her throat, but her bear encourages her to continue.
“I will lose myself if I were to lose you, and my feelings are so much stronger than the ties of family or friendship. I... see that now, and I know it complicates everything.” This isn’t how it was supposed to be, how things were supposed to end up. Best friends until the end and nothing else matters, what happened to that? But she cannot stop now; she has already gone too far. “I want to be wherever you are. And I won’t come between you and Chryseis, I swear it.
“But you should know the truth of how I feel. I owe you that much.”
Now it is her turn to turn away. If he leaves, she will manage, despite the tides threatening to pull her under. But she will not be the one to walk away from what matters most to her.
![[Image: rhae]](https://66.media.tumblr.com/c013fae479a9e0c775688ff921306b4e/tumblr_pivbqpgHuG1xsr748o1_250.png)
