"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
for every tyrant, a tear for the vulnerable in every lost soul, the bones of a miracle
Hyaline is desolate, her snow deep, her trails unbroken. Every slope is a sweeping blanket of white, the rivers run a trickle here and there but ice clings to their shores. The lake is frozen, solid and veiled in frost.
They are very few now, and those she has found so far she has bid to retreat into the safety of the cove.
Litotes returned to Hyaline before her, but Kensa has not found him yet. In the deep snow, and so empty, the kingdom seems so much vaster than she knows it to be. She is strong, an all-season kind of girl, but there are moments then she isn’t sure she has the heart for this. How brave and sure she had felt, indignant on the border of the Cove, frightened and angry about what had befallen all of them. Now, when alone, she is only a girl again. Foolish, afraid.
Low in the valley the snow has drifted up and left swept away places where it is easy to walk and even graze. Kensa weaves amongst the drifts. She isn’t completely tired but is happier to take the less difficult path. She heads for the lake without knowing why, but the heart of Hyaline draws her always. When she reaches the shore--what must be the shore, though it’s hard to delineate beneath the ice and snow--she continues. Her hooves are not suited to ice walking, but the frosted ice is crusted with blown snow and that lends some traction.
She is a spot of liver chestnut among all the white, the harsh light reflected off the snow flattening her color to a matte chocolate brown. When she stops near the center of the lake, at the edge of where the ice is thin enough to let the blue underneath show through she considers screaming.
Just screaming her lungs out, until an avalanche comes down, until the ice cracks all around her. Until something makes sense. An instinctive and suspicious corner of her brain tells her that screaming will call the plague to her, so she remains silent. Only the sound of her clouded breath leaving her dark nostrils comes to her ears. No one else is screaming either.
This is too much darkness for her, too much melancholy. She needs to find Lie so that they can decide what to do next.
kensa
for every dreamer, a dream. we're unstoppable with something to believe in.
@[Litotes] I know she is a drag right now, I think it's because I have a headache. Emo Kensa.
Litotes is running through the valleys of Hyaline. His steps are soft and muted, kicking up large flurries of snow, for his hooves are now giant paws. Where he was once hardy, he is now lithe and clawed. Where his neck once stretched long and regal, there is now a large and ferocious mane. The loudest sound he makes is his labored, sick, and panicked breathing.
He has no idea what is happening to him.
To his side runs Rune, who is irritated and cursing in his mind. The little sand cat cuts to the side when the lion stumbles, climbing her way up his side and digging her claws into his back to hold on. Of course, this does not faze him (if anything, crazes him more), and he continues sprinting. Now he is running full force down a mountainside, so fast that if he were to fall he would surely go head over tail down the slope. Rune is screeching and kneading her little claws into his skin, desperately trying to get him to calm down.
Only when he reaches the lake does he think to stop. He doesn’t know when the earth changes to ice, he just knows his paws are splayed out before him as he tries to halt. Lie slides across the lake, finally smelling Kensa when he slows down. Yards away from her, he lays down and stares. A huff and a loud slap of his tail against the ice is the only warning the stallion gives when he quickly shifts back to his original form.
The only thing on his mind now: Kensa can get sick.
Lie slowly stretches up from the ground, body now aching and feverous as the adrenaline fades. He stumbles backward, not thinking to explain his lion-form or the cat on his back he just blurts out:
“Kensa, I’m sick!”
A wracking cough and a visibly violent shiver provides proof of his claim. He takes a few more steps backward, only to be stopped by Rune digging her predator’s claws into the sensitive skin between his shoulders.
Her only explanation, projected loudly into his mind: You’re being a fucking idiot.
i don't want your pity, i just want somebody near me guess i'm a coward, i just want to feel all right
for every tyrant, a tear for the vulnerable in every lost soul, the bones of a miracle
In the quiet she cannot miss the sound of a creature barreling through the snow toward the lake. She does not search long for the sound, the lion, though light colored does not blend completely into the snow. Kensa’s ears pin back into the tangle of her flaxen mane. However this creature does not seem to be hunting her, it looks terrified and it’s flight toward her is frantic. It must be mad. She quickly evaluates her location in the midst of the frozen lake, she is either very safe or very not.
The lion slides out onto the ice and she tosses her head, shifting her weight so she can escape in the other direction. It slides closer to her than she likes but the smell that comes to her isn’t the foul musk of a predator but a scent that makes her feel joyful and also very confused consider the fact that she is looking at a big cream colored lion and not...Lie. He returns to his own shape before her eyes. She spots a sandy shape clinging near his withers but he is standing quickly before she can approach and investigate.
Kensa, I’m sick!
The words echo back at them from the solid surface of the lake. She shouldn’t go to him, but she cannot help it. He is her counterpart and companion and it is only a matter of time before this illness finds her. She has given herself over to protecting Hyaline and this comes with it. She cannot be afraid of sickness when it comes in the shape of someone dear to her. “Oh, Lie.” She says, distracted from her melancholy by the stallions clear distress. Stay there, you’re going to fall and break the ice.” She chides, and moves toward him without hesitation, before he can hurry back (she can see it in his face, damn him) her look turns darker and she says more firmly. “I mean it, don’t move until I get to you.”
Picking her way over the ice to him she pauses before him, indicating he should turn with her and then, side by side she guides him back to the shore at the calm careful pace that had born her out into the lake in the first place. Over her shoulder she throws a glance at the golden cat, with its banded legs and wide intelligent face. However her focus for now is Lie and securing him on the lake shore.
Once they arrive on real solid ground she turns to him, her stern face fading into concern. “What happened, Litotes?” She murmers, reaching for him, but thinking better of it and instead looking around to his companion. “And who is this?” She’d been longing to see him a moment ago, and now he was here and she was confused and worried, and half cocked to bite him if he tries to scramble away from her like she’ll disintegrate if the touch.
kensa
for every dreamer, a dream. we're unstoppable with something to believe in.
His heart pounds at the sight of her. Finally, he processes what just happened: his panicked lion form, Rune cursing at him, stumbling and falling like a fool. He stands there, legs splayed and breathe heaving, hoping and praying that Kensa will heed his warning. For the first time ever, he longs to see her walking away from him, running miles and miles until no sickness may drown her like it is drowning him.
He wants to keep her safe. My god, does he need her to be strong - to live her life and follow her heart.
Litotes should have known: Kensa will not turn her back on him, no matter how he begs she will not turn tail and run. Feverous and aching, he cannot grasp the reality: her strength is what leads her to him; this is the life she has chosen to live. In his mind he is backpedalling, slipping across the ice in a desperate attempt to keep her from the plague (he is actually rooted to the ground by Kensa’s commanding voice). He coughs, goes limp as the pain in his throat racks his entire body.
The air is still and threatening as she approaches. He watches her with forlorn eyes, unable to believe that he is doing the right thing by listening to her. Lie is resigned by the time Kensa reaches him; he leans into her side when she offers it to him. He sighs, regretting each step as he takes it, diving deeper and deeper into fear with each passing second. He closes his eyes and allows the sensation of his companion’s side guide him. Rune shuffles about, settling on his back with her tail curled over her front paws, projecting clearly into his mind that she is staring intently at Kensa. He huffs in response but is too tired to argue.
When the ice changes to earth, Lie opens his eyes. Kensa is already peering at him with concern, though he knows that moments before she was ready to chastise him. He closes his eyes again when she questions him, reminiscing on the way the sickness took hold of his body overnight. He does not know how the lion came to him, just knows it started in his dreams and slowly changed his DNA (though he does have his suspicions about the plague).
Blood begins to trickle from both his nostrils, but he ignores it and takes a racking breathe: “I don’t know what happened, Kens . . . I patrolled Hyaline, redirected those passing through, and I got sick. Other than that . . . I don’t know. And as for this one,” he stops to gesture at the sand cat still staring unblinkingly at Kensa, “she won’t leave me alone. Her name is Rune.”
The feline hisses and bats Lie’s neck. You’d be a mess without me, she says, then lithely hops to Kensa’s shoulders. Rune curls into a ball in the cupped space between the liver chestnut’s withers and back.
I like her. Comfortable back.
Lie would be irritated but he is too exhausted. He longs to be as close to the mare as Rune is, but won’t allow himself the liberty.
“I think my lion-form has something to do with the plague. I need to tell Solace and Kagerus, but patrolling Hyaline has been exhausting . . .” he trails off, not speaking what hangs between them: he does not want to get anyone else sick. The cremello locks his gaze with Kensa’s, envisioning how he would hold her if he could, for even through the fog in his brain he can sense how muted she is.
“Are you okay, Kensa?”
i don't want your pity, i just want somebody near me guess i'm a coward, i just want to feel all right
for every tyrant, a tear for the vulnerable in every lost soul, the bones of a miracle
She has always been tenacious, but the plague has summoned a new ferocity out of her. Perhaps she should have a lion skin to wear. As she looks on Lie she wonders if he is put off my the absence of her usual effervescent sweetness.
Calming after the shock of all the changes that have befallen him she finds it harder not to reach out and comfort him. Affection has come easily between them from their first meeting, and they are somehow very comfortable and very attracted to one another all at once. His nose starts to run blood and her heart thunders, she takes a deep breath but doesn’t fuss, lets him speak because he is tired and it wont do to overreact.
“When knew this was a risk. Hell, it’s probably inevitable. We can find someone to help you.” She says kindly. And then tucks her chin in suprise when the cat jumps from his back to her own. Turning her head back and giving the feline a polite sniff. “Hello Rune.” She says, not making any move to dislodge the creature. She was as light as a feather and smelled a little like Lie.
“I’m fine Lie. Not sure how I feel about you carrying a lion around under your skin, but I can get used to it. I’m just worried about you.” The last sentence comes more softly and she shifts. His worry and fatigue calls to her. She can say she is sad and worried, but now that they are so close and he is so sick she can’t bring herself to bemoan how lost she thought she was ten minutes ago. The Kensa who had stood out on the ice seemed very childish now. She takes a deep breath, fills her lungs and looks at him--topaz eyes mirror topaz eyes--and then steps close again, shoulder to shoulder. “Come now Lion-man. Let's find a place to rest.”
She cannot go on not touching him, thinking that it’s going to keep her from getting sick. She’d let the plague take her if it meant she could feel his lips against her neck even once more. How she hopes he feels that too, understands that she cannot keep away from him. “Come on…” She says again, gentle, her softness an apology for her earlier frustration with him.
The pick their way through snow and trees, talking softly and trying to choose a spot to rest. It suddenly feels important to find just the right place. Somewhere that they haven’t been before, somewhere that feels right, safe, theirs. A settling place. They climb into the mountains above the lake, through the mixed forest and over the rocky winding paths until they break into a small valley where the mountain folds into nook of sorts, snow covered now but a little pawing reveals yellowed grass and clover. “What do you think?” She ask, knowing he must be ready to stop and rest, thinking they need to stop searching and let him rest. “There’s water. Too bad it isn’t spring, that’s a plum.” She says first of a small creek--its falls dripping but frozen on the rocks at the back of the clearing--and then of a scraggly naked tree with freckled branches. She’d like to look around here some more, but perhaps Litotes is too tired, so she does not say so.
kensa
for every dreamer, a dream. we're unstoppable with something to believe in.
@[litotes] @[The Plague] Can I get another plague roll one Kensa pretty please? :3
Kensa’s persistence wears at Litotes. He is warmed by the sight of Rune perched on her back, even more delighted when she does not shy away. The little sand cat was quick to become a big part of his life: a constant influx of wisdom and sass. He focuses his attention solely on Rune, not thinking of the risk he is taking in being so close to Kensa.
The familiar kicks Lie from her mind, not necessarily cutting him off but blocking him from her thoughts. The cremello suppresses an irritated sigh and looks back to Kensa, pricking his ears forward when she begins to speak again. She says that she is fine but enough studying of his counterpart tells him she is not telling the whole truth. Maybe it is the softest sadness coloring her voice or the way she does not reach for him - no matter what small hint she unknowingly gives, Lie can sense it (he must know).
Their shoulders brush when the liver chestnut steps to his side - every bit of an icy wall he had built between them melts in that instance. This was not a shoulder to lean on, but an affectionate brush (a reminder of the nearly unbreakable bond they had so quickly formed). No one has brought Litotes out of his shell like Kensa - perhaps it was the vulnerability he felt and the absolute chance of her being the one to show up or perhaps they really were just two puzzle pieces that fit together.
It is not until the General comes out his thoughts that he realizes he has fallen into a synchronized step with Kensa. He blinks a few times and glances over at her, trying and failing at suppressing a half-smile. They talk here and there, whispered exchanges discussing everything and nothing. Lie is grateful for this down time even with the threat of the plague hanging on every word.
They are searching for something - what they are searching for, Litotes is not sure of yet. He knows he needs to rest, knows Kensa wants him to rest, so perhaps a place to rest? Though there were plenty of places they could have bedded down in . . . this feels different. Nevertheless, he follows Kensa, trusts her to lead him for he can barely put one hoof in front of the other.
A small valley stretches before them, cozy and beautiful. The cremello shakes his head to clear the sick haze, but finds his mane covers his eyes instead. He peers through the loose locks, noting the yellowed grass just beneath the snow. Kens points out the creek just as Lie hears its faint trickling. The water drips at the back of the clearing, with a copse of aspens scattered just beyond. A hint of a ledge glimmers past the trees, picking at Lie’s curiosity.
“This is perfect - beautiful,” excitement punctuated by a few small coughs. “I want to look past the trees . . .” he trails off, closing his eyes, “then . . . rest . . .”
Rune hops down, leaping impossibly high to get through the snow. Litotes follows her, finding the small but dangerous cliffside. Below is a long stretch of gray boulders and dark mountain soil. If one were clumsy enough, they could stumble right off the edge with the only defense against the drop being the barren trees. Terrifying but beautiful: the ledge offers a view of Hyaline like no other.
“Do you see this view?” a whisper, faint and almost lost on the wind. “Though if children stay up here . . .”
i don't want your pity, i just want somebody near me guess i'm a coward, i just want to feel all right
for every tyrant, a tear for the vulnerable in every lost soul, the bones of a miracle
She feels guilty for dragging him up here, but when they had fallen into step together something instinctive had taken over. They could not just lie down in the shadow of that log near the lake, or doze in the cool dryness of the cave with the ferns at its mouth. If asked she could not have said why, but Lie does not ask. He trusts the little mustang mare to take him where she will and wen at last she watches him look with interest around the little nook in the mountain despite his weariness her sadness roars up into her sinuses and her eyes sting. She blinks fast, and he does not see because he is marveling at this small beautiful place. Her need to search for just the right place fades away. She follows him toward the place where the golden light spills through the papery white trunks.
On the ledge the view is splendid and shocks her into a familiar awe. There is a thrill in the view and a deep inexplicable pleasure at sharing it with him. The little liver mare tucks herself against Lie, looking down over a snow covered Hyaline, the blue lake, the golden light.
That light belongs to us. A thought she does not share but the fading day lives in the color of their eyes, shivers over their skins and makes them both shine in their own opposite ways--she a deep dark richness, he a bright, heavensent glow. It’s the first time she thinks that maybe their hearts exist within one another, that they are mismatched parts that come together to make something whole.
His soft words are almost lost on her, because it is beautiful and she does not need to agree in order to make it true.
Children. That does call her out of the reverie. Hadn’t they just been children themselves? But she find her heart thuds in a not unpleasant way and a becoming blush warms her cheeks. She shelters herself beneath the curve of his neck and tucks her chin against the velvety skin of his muscular chest. “They will have to be careful.” She replies softly, with a breath of laughter. He’d spoken absently, she knew, but she has no desire to rebuff the suggestion of children between them.
He needs to rest, but she does not push him to do so. Instead she quietly leans into the warmth of him--a little too warm, reminding her how unwell he is--and lets him enjoy this place that is suddenly theirs. A little bit she waits for him to realize what he’d said and what she’d said.
kensa
for every dreamer, a dream. we're unstoppable with something to believe in.
12-08-2018, 09:17 PM (This post was last modified: 12-08-2018, 09:20 PM by litotes.)
litotes
Kensa is warm and comforting against his side, a constant uplifting presence even when she is not at her best. Litotes closes his eyes and basks in the beauty that surrounds him - a beauty he feels he just wandered into on accident. He watches as the sun brightens her naturally dark coat, now milk chocolate and glistening while her mane sparkles like gold. Kensa is perfect, he thinks, feverous and fading fast - like a dark angel in this lighting.
The air is still as the liver chestnut tucks her head into the cremello’s chest. He drops his chin to the top of her nape, nibbling so softly and absently down the line of her neck that his touch is barely there. Where her crest meets her withers he rests his head, his too-warm cheek leaning softly on the sturdy curve of her shoulder. For the second that they sit in silence they look like a painting, so still and picturesque in the dying light. Lie is breathing in his counterpart’s sweet scent when she replies, stripping his sickly reverie away in an instant. He does not take his touch from her, instead opening his eyes wide in embarrassment and staring manically at her staring at stomach.
A laugh - sudden and misplaced - breaks the mildly tense silence. Lie lifts his head to shake it, bemused and playfully irritated with himself.
“I, uh -” he stops, stuttering and blushing and tripping over his tongue. “Well, if that is something we both want . . .” but again he pauses, realizing she didn’t argue or seem surprised. This realization evolves into another one: he may love Kensa, beyond the butterflies and the beauty; he may love her - of course, right? - because the thought of having a family with her fulfills him, fits the last piece of this chapter’s puzzle directly into place. Lie smiles to himself, burying his muzzle into her fragrant mane, a private moment he dares not to divulge.
“Come,” Lie begins, voice muffled by the hair over his mouth, “let’s find somewhere to rest.”
Are you ever going to tell her? Rune quips, trailing Lie as he turns to step a few feet from the cliff. Lie huffs and begins to dig out a two horse sized hole in the snow at the base of one of the aspens. I don’t know that I can, he snaps back, infuriated by the truth of that statement. Lie drops to the ground, masking the private conversation from just a second before. He stares up at Kensa, offering her a goofy smile and droopy eyes.
i don't want your pity, i just want somebody near me guess i'm a coward, i just want to feel all right
for every tyrant, a tear for the vulnerable in every lost soul, the bones of a miracle
His embrace wakes a desire in her that is totally inappropriate to their situation, the little gestures of affection calling up a warm pleasure that internally has her stretching like a cat. Outwardly she just shivers a little and makes a low contented sound in the back of her throat, closing her eyes to the golden light.
Of course Lie’s laughter calls her out of this and she smiles because she hears the embarrassment in it. She is serene, forgetting a little under his touch that she is worried, or sad. Not forgetting entirely because here within his embrace she also feels that she could collapse into all the hurt and it would be alright somehow, that he would slide under the yoke of the emotions with her and do his best to help her bear them.
He will be the father of her children, and though he stumbles over his words as he rounds toward understanding that she will carry his sons and daughters she remains calm and quiet. There is a warmth in her cheeks and in her chest that she’s not ready to speak of, and there is something thrilling about not saying anything at all.
Litotes buries his muzzle into her mane and pulls back slowly to look up at him, giving him a knowing and contented smile. “Yes dear.” She murmurs, flashing a smirk on the second word to tell him she is pleased rather than sarcastic. She turns to follow, nipping at his barrel lightly as they go. She watches Rune as Lie makes them a little nest in the snow, the cat is looking at the stallion intently and Kensa almost asks if everything is alright. Not knowing that the two of them are having a chat, thought-to-thought.
The cremello stallion settles down in the scraped and trampled hollow, and Kensa laughs at his sweet tired face. She nuzzles him slowly and affectionately, brushing a kiss over his lips before settling down with her back to his so that they can look over their shoulders at one another. “Try not to hog the bed Lie, and let the cat sleep with us.” She hopes that Rune will not resent being ‘the cat’, and dips her head at her in a plea for forgiveness just in case. Breathing a sigh she lets go of her foolish humor. “I’m glad we are home together.”
However sleep comes over them it is welcome, though perhaps not as restful as their first night sleeping side by side should have been.
Morning comes cold and early, and Kensa wakes with a shuddering cough. She shakes it off, because it is the first such and no other follows. Rising carefully she tries to not wake Lie, walking to the stream where a bit of searching finds her a place to break the ice and draw a very cold drink. The grey new day brings new worries, with Lie hopefully rested they need to decide what to do. Try to find someone to heal him? Here in Hyaline he is likely to end up sick again. They both are likely to be sick for as long as the stand guard here. She gazes steadily into the water--somehow still moving beneath the ice--and hopes they can be so resilient.
kensa
for every dreamer, a dream. we're unstoppable with something to believe in.
