"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
The twins seemed to draw energy off of one another - they seemed to be inexhaustible. Solace could barely keep up with their moods as they alternated between perfect, loving siblings and Hellcats. One moment they stood nibbling fondly at each other withers, the next found them squealing and calling each other names which begged the question, where did they learn that word?!
As night falls, the little family returns to one of their sheltered nooks in the mountainside. Valdis and Clegane continue to bicker, but with a lifted brow and the threat that "if you do not sleep, you will not be able to see uncle Svedka tomorrow," she silences them, trying to suppress the smile which threatened to ruin the effect. But as soon as the rambunctious pair were settled and dozing, the caretaker finds that her own weariness is overwhelming. Solace looks to her mate with sleepy, apologetic eyes as she realizes their moonlit walk will have to wait.
"Tomorrow, at noon, meet me by the driftwood tree," she says with a kiss, "just me and you," before falling into a sound, dreamless sleep.
Too soon the night is over, and Kagerus had been off at dawn to patrol. Solace feed the twins, now refreshed and eager, and by mid-morning, they were on their way to the lake. The trio finds Svedka where he promised to be, and with a smile and a heartfelt, 'Thank you', Solace takes to the sky.
A little earlier than planned, Solace lands beside the gnarled, ancient oak tree bleached by the sun and salt. The western coast of Hyaline saw little activity, the mountains were pocketed with caverns and the pebbly sand was cool - the perfect place for some alone time with her queen. Patiently she waists, ambling through the seafoam and glancing at the curious objects the tide has brought in.
A sound causes her heart to leap, and all thoughts of treasure and ocean invaders vanish. With sparkling blue eyes she turns, her favorite name on her lips.
and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
To call them a handful would be an understatement, but the true feat is found in the raising of that rambunctious pair. Although I do my best to take some of the weight of motherhood off of Solace's shoulders, the fact is that I can do that a lot better by helping to rule Hyaline than by sticking around the children. Not that I don't love it! I do love it. Hearing them call me Rou always warms my heart and send a grin to my lips; it's not motherhood, but it's something close. It's more than the father can claim, anyway.
If only I realized how much work two kids are, never mind three...
Tangerine will get whiplash when she sees this one coming.
As it stands, we are on the precipice of autumn. Gusts of wind flirt with our tangled manes as we usher the children off to bed; I stay quiet at Sol's elicited threat, only winking behind her back when a chorus of Rou! You promised one more game of tag! and the like came up in an attempt to bypass their mother's lawful tone. They eventually obliged however, and in the safety of our little grotto, we settle down to sleep.
Tomorrow, at noon, meet me by the driftwood tree. Just me and you.
Her voice is musical, her kiss is healing; with a warm smile and a warmer heart, I follow her into a black sleep, the only sense I have being of her and her alone.
I awaken before her as usual, careful disentangling myself after twenty minutes spent simply holding her figure against mine as a gentle snore wafts from her nose. The twins are fidgeting, dreaming and kicking each other in their sleeps; reaching out, I sooth the pair into a deeper sleep, sucking away their dreams so that my mate might get an extra hour of sleep before their bafoonery restarts.
The day is uneventful, and in truth I wish it to pass more quickly; but the realm of wakefulness is not mine to control, and so I must suffer each excruciating minute on my lonesome. The border is safe and welcomes no newcomers this day, except perhaps some migrant birds or butterflies. A glance upward reveals the late summer sun in its full, pregnant heat. As the hours pass, it slowly climbs to its peak - and just as it's about to arrive, I find myself conveniently at the southern edge of the west coast. Whooping, my heels kick up - and it's only a matter of time before I finally get to be with her.
My ever lasting love; my Solace.
"Hello beautiful," I murmur with some passion as her dazzling blue eyes make me forget about any ocean, even as it laps at our hooves. My lips spread amorously and adventurously and adorably all at once, a concoction of emotions so potent that one could only ever call it love. Reaching out, I gently brush her forelock behind her ear, laughing and sending warm air across her delicate face as I do so.
"What romance have you planned for us this fine afternoon?" Stepping forward and alongside her, we begin meandering along the coast. "We've some grand caves to explore, an ocean to dip in -" wink "- sea shells to gather, crabs to scare. Of course, I'm mostly here for the view." My eyes go shamelessly over her figure, perhaps not what it once was since having twins, but perfect in my eyes. Perfect and sexy. In this time alone, I can't help but to squeeze in some flirting; god knows I can't swoon my wife with her kids around.
Or, I do a damn good job of hiding it anyway. Sol hates it - or hates that she loves it... She says one thing, but she screams another later in our dreams.
Trying to push down my arousal as it possesses my tongue and waggles it so crassly, I chuckle and bump against her wing, enjoying the closeness of her. There's so much more I want to say - but I can't quite speak right now, unless it's to call her my baby girl and to drive her into the ocean where she can pretend to not like being a little drowned as I have my way with her - because no one would imagine good simple Queen Solace as anything but angelic and puritan - so instead, I remain silent. Hot, needy, and silent.
@[Solace] I haven't gotten laid lately. SORRY LMAO.
Kagerus is there not a moment late, and the look in her eyes lets Solace knows they the both had spent the morning distracted by thoughts of what the afternoon would hold. The first touch sends the sensation of an electrical spark across her skin, and a pale blue glow flairs up momentarily where Kageru's lips had touched. Solace laughs, listening to her suggestions as she slides into a comfortable place at her mate's side and they strike out across the sand.
"Your Hyalinian vacation starts with a swim in the ocean," Solaces replies with satisfaction before she grabs a chunk of Kagerus' dark mane between her teeth. After a slightly rougher than appropriate pull, she releases, cantering into the chest high waves. It wasn't like Kagerus would need much convincing to follow the gold splashed mare, and the feeling of a muzzle to her flank is a reminder of that. With strong strokes, the two mares swim out past the crashing water, into the gentle rise and fall of the rollers beyond.
"Then we have a sunset stroll scheduled, followed by as you guessed, cave exploration." She presses her chest to that of her lover, the heat they are creating like a beacon in the frigid ocean swells. The water pulls them apart again, but Solace closes the gap with a push off the sandy ocean floor. "Svedka is watching Velk and Valdis for the night, so I don't have to be back until dawn."
She relaxes into the golden glow they to create for themselves, content as she has ever been. Without the twins and the kingdom watching, she is free to melt into her lovers every touch, returning each heavy gesture with one equally as suggestive. Soon, they ride the waves back to shore and Solace shakes herself free of the salty water.
Then truly the golden hour is upon them as the sun begins to sink over the ocean, not quite sunset, but close. She tells Kagerus of her morning (mostly of the funny, and annoying, things the twins had done) before their conversation inevitably turns to the future. It was what they had so often talked about in the house between dusk and midnight, it is natural and Solace finds herself saying more than maybe she would of had she not been spending so much time with her children instead of adults.
But then, something slips from her tongue which she had not meant to say, at least not like this, not right now.
"Kagerus, do you ever think about your life after I am gone?"
Unexpectedly, emotion chokes her as she envisions them, herself swaybacked and unable to scale the mountains any longer, and Kagerus exactly as she appears now. Immortality was not a trait which ran in her family, and the signs of age were beginning to show even though middle age was still a long way off. It was something she had thought of more and more often after the birth of the twins, and something which surfaces as their thoughts spill and run together while they talk. "You know, I want you to find someone else when the time comes," she adds hesitantly, "I don't want you to feel like you are betraying me... forever is a long time to live without someone."
Her gaze stays forward, she knows she can not look into Kageru's dark eyes without the tears she holds back spilling over.
"I'm sorry," she says with a slight shake of her head, "that wasn't apart of the plan."
and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
Where my lips sensually caress, orbs of blue light manifest and then slowly fade. I love that affect of Sol's magic; to truly see how my love effects her, how it touches her heart. And of course, the laugh that follows leaves me quite breathless as well. Wordlessly, I look to her smiling face, barely catching her rebuttal as my mind's eye becomes transfixed on her undying beauty.
Undying.
She emphasizes the end of her sultry words with a hard pull of my mane, sending sparks beneath my belly and a foxy grin to my lips. Without any hesitation, I splash into the waves with her, placing my muzzle near her flank as we wade deeper and deeper until at last we are swimming out into the western ocean, surrounded by nothing but the waves and the sky.
We come chest to chest easily, tying ourselves together in a sort of boyant raft. Although some horses might fear drowning out on the open ocean, Solace knows that I will be able to get us back to shore safely in case of an emergency. Although a new facet of my magic that I've discovered, teleporting is quite a handy trick.
"Maybe we'll find the bones of a dead animal or something," I jeer, trying to get under her skin as my lips work dutifully at the knotted muscles of her shoulders. She mentions Svedka, and I smile, semi disrupting the pattern of my massaging movement. "Well, I'm sure you'll be joining them for naptime tomorrow, as I will keep you very busy until then. Hopefully the caves don't echo too much." My chuckle sends ripples through the water around us, but before more flirting can be fit in, our movements in the water speak for themselves. It's not love making, but it's close enough - the tight embrace of her figure around mine as we bask in the glow of each other's company is as ethereal as any ardor.
Eventually though, we find ourselves moving slowly back towards shore. My legs are quite tired from our time out on the ocean, but the sight of my beautiful wife trudging on without complaint keeps me cheerful and full of lovely feelings. We shake ourselves off once safely repositioned on the beach, but of course, we do have until dawn; and so, we settle into our steady back and forth of conversation as twilight slowly descends.
Our conversation begins quite domestically, with many tangents going off about the twins. They're busy little children, and though I do what I can tell help, Solace must take the brunt of the child rearing as their biological mother. I listen with unfeigned interest, but I do not speak much myself, instead allowing her to ramble on some. At appropriate intervals I nod and make sounds of affirmation and understanding, my smile never wavering as her lyrical voice carries us across the beaches and into the night; and occasionally I do interject my own opinion, sometimes on the children, sometimes with a quip. We are easy going lovers; we are organic soul mates. Our stars are perfectly aligned; nothing is crossed about our love.
But then, her tone takes a drastic shift, and the smile drops from my face with a dreadful quickness. When at last her words fully process in my mind, everything grinds to a halt - even my movement. The gold hue of my eyes takes on a dark tint of sobriety and intensity that she will know all too well, though I'm certain she doesn't enjoy it. But this turn from light hearted to existential leaves me almost panicking, my mind grasping desperately for anything to hold on to to keep from spiraling out of control.
You know, I want you to find someone else when -
"Stop," I gasp, recoiling from her as tears prick my eyes. The rest of her words either don't fall, or I don't hear them. There's hurt in my eyes, but it's a hurt that blossoms because of the thought of the thing, not her words. Of course I'd thought of this outcome - but every time, I'd shut down the mental images before I could actually work out a solution or consider what would happen after. Because for me, there wouldn't be and after. There is only her.
"I would never do that to you Solace." And as I speak the words now, I know that they are true; but that dark voice in my mind whispers about how I'll feel a decade after her passing, and it reminds me of how flippant I have been with my love in the past. But I push its truthful words away, stubbornly clinging to my love for the mare before me; I don't need anyone else and I never will.
Her eyes leave mine, and they spill precious tears from her cheeks. As I catch their faint glimmering, the aggressive denial I feel subsides; and when she apologizes, the threat of a sob wavering her voice, all my defensiveness falls. I go to her; I don't try to look in her eyes yet, but I do hold her. Because I know her: and I will always, always know her.
"You are going to be around for so long Solace," I murmur, curling myself around her and letting her cry if she needs to. "You shouldn't even be thinking of such things right now." My grasp on her tightens, and for some time, we stay like that, wound intricately into each other, a sculpture of lovers in the throes of an existential crisis.
"I can't live without you Solace," somehow, I find another ounce of strength to pull her closer. "And - I won't."
Without warning, I break our connection, finally bending to find her cerulean gaze.
"I want to share my immortality with you - I want you, my love, for all the eternities this life has to offer."
@[Solace] I thought this was going to be maybe 6 paragraphs. I was wrong. Word count: 985
07-31-2018, 08:19 PM (This post was last modified: 07-31-2018, 08:33 PM by Solace.)
Solace
. . .
Stop
The word is a shard of ice in her heart but she obeys; her forward motion halting as her liquid blue eyes find Kaguers. She finds pain there but not surprise, and Solace knows that she has not been the only one this idea has haunted.
'I would never do that to you, Solace.'
But the gold splashed mare can only shake her head in the face of her mate's passionate denial. The depth of Solace's love for her mate was beyond anything she had dreamed of in her adolescence, when any hansom stranger could catch her off her guard. With each day, strength of their bond grew stronger - dwarfing what it had been when first amazed her. But she knew Kagerus, and she feared what she would become if... when.
Solace tries to be brave - for the sake of her wife mostly, but a little for her own pride - ignoring the acidic taste on the back of her tongue and the single tear which slides over her cheekbone. But Kagerus moves to hold her, and her pride seems foolish as she is enveloped by the warmth of this warrior woman who loves her fiercely.
Savor this.
Solace listens with hooded eyes as Kagerus speaks, allowing herself to slip into the fantasy she weaves for them. Ignorance is bliss - even if it is willful ignorance which she can only maintain for a moment. The words meant to reassure her do little to sooth the deep ache in her heart. Never once has she questioned the depth of Kagerus' love, she knows that there is no dishonesty in her - only naivety.
"I can't live without you Solace."
The truth of those words are a hammer to her fragile heart, and finally, she shatters. Safe for now in the stronghold that is her lover, Solace submits to the feelings which she has been holding back for so long. Dragged ragged behind their momentum she lays raw, exposed as she has rarely been.
"And - I won't." Kagerus re-affirms, twisting the dagger one more time. She seems to ignore the fact that, for all the power they held between them, this was out of their reach.
And Solace clings to her tormentor.
"You're stronger than that," she says when she can breathe again. "And you won't be betraying me." She repeats with more force as her wife pulls away. Their eyes meet, and Solace hods her dark gaze with something close to defiance. Disheveled and battle-worn, her features are a disorganized version of her usual appearance and her poise has been replaced by determination.
But she softens quickly, reaching again for the contact that helps remind her that the day they speak of is a lifetime away. Her pale lips part again as a soft breath escapes her, and her words are a gentle sigh.
"You don't have that power, and you... need someone. I don't want to think of you alone." she says into her queen's dark, salty skin. There is no anger left in her voice as she states the truth, as she realizes she doesn't have to be stubborn - time will make her case for her.
"I need you to know that I don't want you to be alone. So just agree, and then we never have to have this conversation again."
and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
She fears what you will become when she passes.
A widow? A whore? Someone else's wife? Does it matter?
No! Because she isn't going to die! Idiot! Denier! You are a part of the problem. Everyone dies, and she will go before you, leaving in her wake a lonesomeness so profound that you'll have to find some way to fill the void - with sex, with dreams - God knows you'd be prone to suicide.
Fuck you! Funny, how in times of stress you can't seem to silence my voice. As if I've never truly been gone... Just biding my time, subtly finding my way into the joints of your knees so that, when the weight of the world commands that you kneel, I can be the force which truly sends you into submission.
It is Solace's voice which pulls me from the revere, halting my rambling words which, though true, I'd not even realized I was speaking. She tells me that I'm stronger than that, that I wouldn't be betraying her, and it's not what I wanted to hear. The darkness in my head redoubles its efforts, and I feel like screaming when my knees start into aching. I hate it, I hate this, I hate that life can't always be flirtations and sex and children and crowns and laughter, I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate --
You don't have that power, and you... need someone. I don't want to think of you alone. Her face is defiant, her tear-filled eyes like icy blue lakes whose surface will not bear my weight. My own ears lay back, anger twisting my features to see her fighting my love so adamantly; the voice pushes me further, further, laying my ears back and cackling with glee as my eyes pinch and fill and burn amber and nutmeg and black. I need you to know that I don't want you to be alone. So just agree, and then we never have to have this conversation again.
"Fuck you," I don't recognize the voice that comes without hesitation from my mouth just as she finishes speaking: the voice is loud and abrasive, and in a heartbeat, I realize that it's the voice in my head. My breathing is staggered, interrupted at every change of pressure by a sob that threatens to choke me. My ears are somehow flat to my skull, and my legs send me a step away. "You think I'm powerless, but I'm not." I am backing up, further, leaving, going - something I have never done.
"I don't agree, Solace." Biting, scathing, heart-wrenching. "And I never will." Heart-stopping. "I'm going to find someone who can."
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