"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
01-23-2017, 07:16 AM (This post was last modified: 01-28-2017, 10:58 AM by Jinju.)
Jinju
The hardest task of coming home was probably to face her parents. Not because she had simply disappeared on them, that she had slipped away from home without a word, but also because of what had happened before that all. Jinju had gotten her powers back, and now she wondered how it could have been that she hadn’t missed it before. The warmth was a part of her and she simply couldn’t imagine how it would be to lose it again.
However, that wasn’t all that had happened. She had used those powers against someone she loved very dearly. Her mentor, her friend, her father. Where Reagan was her magic instructor, Ruan had taken on another role. That she had ended up having her first fight with her father, instead of a practise match with Reagan, wasn’t something she had ever even thought of, but had happened anyway.
Jinju didn’t know if she had really hurt him, if she had damaged him with her raging fire, as she had battled the beast inside him. But what she feared more was that hér beast had hurt him, before he had coached her to tame it in. The black woman, or girl, but she honestly was either of the two right now, looked for the black and white and purple stallion. She wove through the trees of the Taiga, having not lost the familiar feel of the place. This was home and she could say that she had missed the scent. Nothing like the sweet and spicy scent of the pine needles to welcome you home.
And now she was home, she had to check on her father. Even though she was afraid to do so. Not because she was afraid of him, instead she felt ashamed, and sorry, for her own actions and weaknesses. ”Dad..?”
"Dad..?"
He turned slowly, bright but empty eyes falling on a young woman. He recognized her instantly, of course, even aged as she was. They were about even in height now, her body more filled out as an adult. Her eyes still burned with a fire, one that could never be snuffed out. He was pleased to see her.. but he also felt the loss of her still, hollow and echoing within him. And he felt lost, and adrift as though carried through currents he couldn't escape.
Jinju, he said plainly. He recognized the uncertainty sitting behind her eyes, and yet couldn't bring himself to ease it. He simply felt so numb, so empty, and he wasn't even sure why or what was causing it. Or even how to comfort her. Or himself.
So he stood useless, as he always did. Steady, unfaltering, but empty. Cold. Distant.
Alone.
You've come home, he noted blandly. Then with a slow breath, he fell silent.
he feels sad and broken and idek why please fix daddy, sweet jinju <33
The stallion that turns towards her is not her father. It only is the shell of a body that held his soul, his being. No light in his eyes, just an empty gaze in those once sparking blue orbs. Hers flare for them both. This wasn’t the same Ruan who had freed her out of the grasp of the beast she was herself, this wasn’t the one she had freed from his beast first. ”Dad?” she repeats again, a light tremble in her voice. Jinju felt guilty, instantly. This wasn’t the same father she had let to return home alone, was this because of her doing? Was this because of she had decided to disappear?
She takes a few hesitant steps forward, only to pause after again. She watches him, ears moving around restlessly before she crosses the last distance between them. Her nose touches his, ruby eyes worried as she takes a shaky breath. ”Dad, what happened?” she asks with a soft mumble, her muzzle now touching his shoulder before reaching up to gently nip at his withers. Unlike last time, Jinju doesn’t know what to do. This was a different kind of demon, one that shield her dad even further away than the previous one.
"Dad?" she questioned, trying to prod her way through this thick wall that seemed to be surrounding him. He could hear the hurt in her voice, the shiver of uncertainty. She probably expected a warm welcome, he thought she would get one too, but somehow instead he was left wondering if this was even real at all. If she was real, or if she'd just vanish again. He wished her absence hadn't bothered him so much, wished he could pretend that it never happened and let things go back to normal again. Whatever normal was supposed to be.
She might have expected sweet cuddles and warm nuzzles, but instead he was hard and cold. Not quite as wild as that day in the forest, not as hostile. But nothing like what he used to be either. She stepped forward, and his gaze sharpened on the movement. After a moment of hesitation as she paused, she continued her approach, her soft nose reaching tentatively towards him. He was tensed but allowed the contact, his nostrils flaring and eyes trained on her.
"Dad, what happened?"
He didn't have an answer to that, didn't know what was wrong with him. Maybe he was just sick and he would be warm again another day. Maybe he was healing in some way. He didn't know. He only knew that he felt edgy, felt the nearness of another as sharp needles into his skin.
Her muzzle drifted to his shoulder and his muscles tightened as he locked his stare on her. He felt his lips wanting to curl over, to warn her off from touching him so much, but he forced them down. His agitation was evident in the hard line of his body, the stiffness that preceded a possible attack. Her nip at his withers was gentle, loving, and yet he shied from it and shifted a step away. Her warm affection burned him, singed his cold skin that had grown so chill with time and distance. Pushed those needles further into him.
I can't, he dropped solidly between them, not even sure what he couldn't do or say or accept from her. It was simply the first thing that came to his mind and so he said it. Maybe it was the nearness, maybe it was the physical contact.
She doesn’t know what she had expected, but certainly not this. And for a moment she wonders if she should’ve come back, if it wasn’t better if she had stayed away. Her father certainly doesn’t seem glad to see her again. It hurts. It hurts so incredibly. But perhaps that was how it was meant to be. Their prior meeting had been like this too. Enthusiastically she had found him, only to meet the beast inside him. This time she had been much more submissive and hesitant, but once again he doesn’t greet her warmly like he used to do.
She freezes as he moves away from her. Yes she had noticed the tension prior to that, but she had hoped to melt him by the gentle touch of their bodies. It is the last push she needed. After a short pause Jinju stumbles backwards, eyes wide and shimmering with tears. She cannot hold his gaze, glancing away after a few seconds of dragged on silence. ”Papa, I’m so-“ her voice soft, trembling and she’s obviously close to a break down, but her apology is cut short. With a deep breath she looks up again, eyes still wet, but burning determination in them.
This time it is Jinju who takes a step back, her head held high and a serene calmness laying over her. No, this wasn’t how their reunion should be. This wasn’t how she wanted to face her father again. Yes she had done wrong, yes she should apologise, but not like this. ”I’m sure that you’re able to find me, once you’re ready to accept my apology.” For a moment longer Jinju holds his gaze, eyes narrowed slightly, before she backs away further, with the intention to turn around and leave. Perhaps she was wrong, perhaps she should beg him, apologise over and over, but a pride she never knew she had stopped her from doing so.
please fix daddy, sweet jinju <33
