"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
she returned to silence. silence and strangeness. beqanna had changed and in the process she had draped a heavy blanket over the metaphorical ears of our dear sparrow.
oh little sparrow - where have you been? fluttering here and there and fleeing, finally, the madness that came with duty. how she had loved her jungle - FIERCELY - and how it had pained her to leave.
but leave she had. and now the silent return.
it confused her at first, the silence. where was the hum she had grown so accustomed to? where was the constant influx of thoughts that she had known her entire life? where was the information - for which she was desperate, now - that had come so easily to her?
for the first time in her life she yearned for such gifts and recognized, truly, how she had taken them for granted. hybris, though she had been long gone from these lands, had been touched deeply by the changes.
it was painful to walk the familiar path to her jungle and find it lost. or, rather, gone. the entire world had changed and yet she KNEW that this was beqanna through and through. so what had happened? where was the jungle, or the tundra, or any of the kingdoms she had once recognized? where were the herds that had dotted the horizon, familiar and oddly comforting?
a strange sense of panic welled in the little sparrow and she gulped a deep breath of air to try and smother it. the child within wanted to call for her mother -foolish notion, that - while the independent amazon struggled to gain control.
straighten up! figure it out! find the answers yourself!
ah and so the little sparrow pulled herself together and closed her eyes while she pulled in another deep breath. this one was more steady and much more calm and when she gazed once more upon this world she found some comfort in one sight at least. the meadow remained and it was there that she lingered, now. on the outskirts seeking some familiarity before she pressed forward - there was no rush.
Magnus story was not that of an arrow’s path, taut and straight, pulled back and then shot forward. It was twisted and broken, often shooting out in multiple paths and then doubling back. It had jagged edges and poisonous curls, enticing and breaking and dragging him to his knees. The last time that he had seen Hybris, it had been during what he now thought of as the first chapter of his life: the seemingly most straightforward. Before he had been killed, before the world went dark, when everything made sense.
When he had returned to Beqanna, crawling from his saltwater grave and spitting up decades of ocean brine onto the beaches, she had not been there—but he had not been surprised. Almost no one from his prior life had still clung to the land. They had been shuffled and replaced with new faces, new problems, new everything. It had been jarring to acclimate himself to a land that was at once intensely familiar and yet completely alien—to learn some things again as if he was a babe and remember others as a veteran.
So, to see her there, standing amongst the crowds as if she had never left was deeply unsettling. He blinked several times, shaking his head as if she was a vision that would simply fade like morning fog. When she didn’t, he took a few steps forward and then paused again, swallowing hard. Finally, he gathered himself and moved forward, handsome face transparent in his confusion and disbelief. “Excuse me,” he said, voice hoarse and thick, “but you look like someone that I knew a very long time ago.”
His voice drifted off and he laughed, the sound a little strangled in his throat.
10-02-2016, 12:21 AM (This post was last modified: 10-02-2016, 12:22 AM by Hybris.)
was life ever so simple?
hybris had stories to tell - a thousand or more, for one that might listen - and some small part of her was eager to share. or, more true to fact, eager to find a friend that wanted to listen. she ached for quiet nights with easy company, trading stories or tales or perhaps even meaningless words. it was the promise of conversation that had drawn the old mare from hiding - reborn in the wake of her mother's leave.
because she had not always been just hybris. sage's death and the following storm had thrust the spider in to the mind of the sparrow and they had been one. it was not long after that madness that she had fled.
hybris she was, but parts of her mother would always linger. those memories were not so easy to scrub clean.
ah but that was for another day because it would seem that the past had come to haunt her. it could have almost been a joke - a cruel one, truly - that his was the face that she imagined. her first true friend. her first true love. unrequited love that had made the sparrow question it all and yet grow stronger in the aftermath.
she did not fault him for it. their lives had different paths to take.
but it was his face she saw now, so achingly familiar that she wanted to laugh with joy and scream with the unfairness of it all. because it simply couldn't be him. her beloved magnus had been so long gone from her life that she could not wrap her mind around him being here. now.
and then he spoke, and by gods it WAS him.
she laughed, too, but it was a sound born of shock. a strangled sound that was more a cough and was followed by a stunned silence. until, finally, her own voice broke free. "it is possible. and i am." at that point she could not help it and she stepped forward with the echo of a hundred moments playing in her mind.
for all the days and months and years he was her friend and she reached out to him.
hybris ; it was but a dream within a dream
@[magnus] @[Laura]
zomg laura this thread makes me happy and gah your writing just... IM NOT WORTHY <3 <3
ps: do you prefer me tagging laura or magnus??
It was her, and his heart ached. Before he knew what he was doing, he pushed off and then forward, wrapping around her in an embrace, swallowing her relatively slight build with his own. She smelled so familiar—faintly of the jungle and a new brine of ocean. His heart pounded in his chest, and he was flooded with memories. Memories of growing up with her, racing amongst the vines. Memories of her soft, kind eyes and welcoming smile. And, later, memories of hurt—of sadness tinging her expression.
He had hurt her. He had not meant to, of course. Joelle had been a supernova in his life that he could not have resisted if he had tried—and it seemed as if he was destined to forever chase the feeling of warmth she had left in his chest. But, regardless, what had been a beautiful collision of the heavens in his chest had been warfare to Hybris. In his youth, he had been nearly blind to it—was seemingly always blind to the small ways in which he hurt others—but he had never been able to shake the distance it had caused.
Of course, this is not what he thought of now. Not when she was so close—so familiar and yet so alien. Years had passed since he had last seen her, decades even, and she had not stayed the same. She had aged, beautifully of course, but she was not the youthful filly or even the softened woman from his memories. She was lovely, but different, and he found that the difference made his heart soften with affection.
Magnus was not the wild-eyed stallion he had been in his youth either, but time had run a different course for him. Decades buried in the ocean had left him relatively unchanged. Even his children had spent more time walking this earth then him; it was a strange thing to wrap his mind around
“Hybris,” he finally murmured, his whiskey-voice husky. “I can’t believe I found you again.”
magnus
@[Shan], it is super fun!
and whatever works although you don't need to. i am pretty good at following my threads. <3
10-24-2016, 10:26 PM (This post was last modified: 10-24-2016, 10:26 PM by Hybris.)
he had been her best friend. they had grown together, passionate and wild and FREE. the jungle had embraced them, loved them, and in that embrace their bond had strengthened. in her youth and naivety she had allowed that bond to stretch and wear thin, to nearly break. she had loved him, fiercely, and she had been so unable to give that up. she had been angry and cruel and so, so sad. hybris had not treated him fairly, as a friend should have, and it had haunted her.
when he embraced her it was as if they ran free in the jungle again and all of that disappeared.
hybris melted. her body curled instinctively in to his as the years washed away and they were young and reckless again. all the pain and sorrow did not matter - she recognized how insignificant it was, now - because all that mattered was that he was here and she was here and they were together. somehow, in all the madness and chaos, they had found each other.
where she had changed and aged he seemed to have stayed very much the same. on some level she was awed by it while at the same time she could not be surprised by anything in beqanna any longer. hybris herself had not aged as much as she should have - this she attributed to the merge that had happened with her mother - and upon her return had felt a certain shift. where her mind-reading was gone she sensed that immortality flowed through her veins; temporary or not she was basking in the youthfulness it made her feel.
she could have stood an eternity in his embrace, in silence.
his murmur brought a smile to her ashen lips and she pulled back her head ever so slightly, earth eyes seeking to connect with his of familiar gold. "i am so happy." her own whispery murmur in return, simply spoken with the weight of a hundred years. she wanted to know all of his stories; where he had gone, who had he seen, what he had done. hybris wanted to know everything and she found herself unsure of where to begun, the words tangled and caught in her throat and she hovered on the cusp of this new beginning.
hybris ; it was but a dream within a dream
@[Laura] such a sweet reunion <3
and that's good. i'm having a hard time figuring out the best way to track mine haha. so tagging is helpful! <3
Magnus is not sure what it means to be happy anymore—if he deserves it, if he is capable.
So much has happened over his lifetimes, so much pain, so much heartache. So much of it his own fault. All of his failures are branded to the back of his eyelids, enough to make him cringe with regret, enough to make his nights sleepless, dreamless. But this? This was the closest that he had gotten to happy in a long time. And he certainly wasn’t going to let that go soon. Instead he just closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation of having his friend close; if he tried, he could almost pretend that they were back.
Back when they were young and foolish and full of vigor for life.
Back with his mother was Queen and he was just a reckless Prince.
Back when it was simple—easy.
But such daydreams don’t last forever—they hardly last at all. He opens his eyes and glances down at her, gives a roguish smile, one corner of his scarred mouth rising further in one corner than the other. “I am too,” he answers honestly, although perhaps not quite honest enough. It did not seem the time or the place to tell her of his personal demons. “Where have you been? Where are you now?” the questions raced over each other, nipping at the heels of the other. He laughed a little, shaking his head in amusement.
“I’m sorry, I am just interested to know.”
It would be easier to immerse himself in his own curiosity instead of turn it toward him. He trusted Hybris, knew her inside and out, but he wasn’t ready to relive his death, his imprisonment, his failures just yet. For at least a little while, he wanted to pretend that he was the same charming, youthful stallion with a little too much mischief up his sleeve. It felt good to try it on. It had been a long time since he had.
11-06-2016, 08:23 PM (This post was last modified: 11-06-2016, 08:24 PM by Hybris.)
hybris could remember the sorrow. she could dwell on the pain and the loss and the heartache. but she had long since returned to the roots of her personality - the roots that guided her to hold close the happiness that had touched her life. to think of the good times and the moments when her heart had been so FULL of joy.
rare though they may be they felt good to hold in her mind, to turn over and over.
HE starred in many of those memories. HE had brought her joy.
there was sorrow in his eyes that was clear despite his words; she did not press him for answers. hybris accepted his words at face value and offered only the slightest brush of her muzzle against his shoulder in the wake of them. she knew his sorrow and she was there, did he ever need comfort.
she laughed too and her brown eyes sparkled with a fresh life. "here, there, everywhere. i had to get away from it all. it was just... too much." her response was vague, she knew, but how could she begin? where could she possibly begin? oh i was in love and i had kids and then my mom kind of invaded my body and took over and then she left and i almost died.
not exactly light and happy conversation.
"but i'm back now," and she laughed again because that much was obvious, right?
a shiver ran the course of her body and she leaned in to him, comforted and reassured by his sheer presence. if magnus was here then it couldn't be THAT bad - and maybe he could give her some answers as to what the hell had happened. in time.
"are you well, magnus? you look... well, you look amazing." the blood rushed to her cheeks and her gaze flitted away, suddenly shy about how brazenly she had spoke. "i just mean.... time has been good to you."
hybris ; it was but a dream within a dream
@[Laura] gawd they are so damn cute! lol. also i wasn't sure if we wanted to present-day this or how y'all handle time and such in bq now, haha. so she didn't mention nerine, but she can if we go that way =) it didnt need to be said here anyway =)
He laughed at her noncommittal answer—knowing that the one forming in his own mind was similar.
It was difficult, even with someone you felt so comfortable around, to re-open fresh wounds. He shifted slightly as he laughed, the sound husky and warm but tinged with a sorrow he could not beat back entirely. Neither one of them could pretend forever that this was the same as it was years ago. Neither of them could pretend that they were simply running into each other after a brief, short-lived absence.
Life had not been that kind to either of them—not really.
So, perhaps, he was the first to give when she asked the questions and his voice dropped a little. “Time has been something to me,” he mused, glancing down at her. “I suppose when death calls you to her for a visit that aging slows.” He had no way of knowing if she knew of his first death—if she had been there to say goodbye after Trashlip had crushed his skull and then Joelle’s. Had she mourned? Had she known?
He didn’t know, and his eyes traced over her expression for a clue before he shrugged. “Still, it is difficult to complain when it has been decades since your birth and you do not look it.” He knew full well that youth still flushed his cheeks and that his body was still muscular and fit. Despite the scars that criss-crossed around his chest and down his shoulders, despite the battles he had seen, he still looked young.
“Life has certainly been different than we thought it would, hasn’t it, Hybris?”
And this time, it was impossible to miss the sadness that etched alongside his mouth and the sorrow that pooled in his eyes. It was impossible to miss the weight that settled along his shoulders. It just was.
I want to walk with you on a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
If only it could be that easy. If they could simply decide to step back in time to race among the jungle vines and chase the setting sun. If only...
But the realist in her barked - what then?
Would she sacrifice the good memories that she had only to be free of the bad? If given the choice could she erase dozens of years and go back to those simple days? Oh her heart ached to say yes while at the same time knew it was a foolish notion.
There was too much good scattered within the bad. Too many moments and names and sights and smells. Too many things that she would miss, even if it meant she could run forever young and free and naive.
The sparrow sighed, tucked her wings, and dove back to the cold, hard earth.
"I know too well those cold hands," and she shivered instinctively even as she looked up to him, "I am sorry that you knew them as well." Hybris would have taken on a thousand pains and sorrows if she could only ease his. She knew little of the world, remembered little of her time before Sage, and clung desperately to what stuck out.
Life, yes, it was different. A thousand miles from where she had thought it would go, where she had hoped it would go. In the dusty corners of her mind a tv flickered to life and on it played the life she had once imagined when things were simple and easy. A life with him.
Again her gaze sought his, briefly, before it fluttered away, fickle. In silence her head lowered and her forehead sought to push against his chest, a solid touch, a warm touch. Her words were spoken clearly despite the position and she knew that he would hear them. "There are many things I wish I could change, but that is a fool's wish, isn't it? What more can we do but push on, survive, make the best of where we are now. Of who we have become."
But who was that?
Who had he become?
Who had she?
Come away with me, in the night
Come away and I will write you a song
Some days, Magnus woke up in a cold sweat, his heart hammering in his chest, his breath short. Some days, he woke up with his tongue swollen in a dry mouth, fear clutching at him with claws that dug deep. It was easy, in these moments, to think back to when death had first greeted him. It was easy to think back to when he had known, in that split second before impact, that he was going to die—when Trashlip was lifted over him and Joelle was screaming and the waves were pounding on the shore behind him. It was as vivid as when it had been occurring; it was as real, as tangible. It was so easy to feel that fear.
When she told him that she knew those cold hands, his heart ached and his face fell.
He did not wish that knowledge onto anyone, least of all her.
“I am so sorry to hear that, Hybris,” his voice was low as he nudged her neck. “I would do anything to take that kind of knowledge from you.” She did not deserve to know that kind of heart-shattering fear; she did not deserve to know what it was like to have your soul drip from your veins, your life to leave you.
He laughed softly at her next words, although the sound lacked any humor. “To be honest, I am not sure what I have become.” A leader of a land full of horses he is not sure trust him. A pieced-together scarecrow who had watched the land beneath him shift and change too many times to count. A father of the despondent and the lifeless (would he ever get that little foal’s still body out of his mind’s eye?). A lover of the lost and the broken. “I am not sure that a younger me would know either, or like me much.”
He was not sure that he liked himself very much on most days.
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