"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
Jedi was drenched in sweat, running as fast as he could to enter the Falls. He was just with Ashara and a silver mare in the meadow. The way Ashara acted left Jedi confused and worried for his friend. His heart ached as he tried courting with the golden vixen multiple times but she turned him down repetitively, but at the meadow she was different, like never before. The mare tried flirting with him, it was more force than anything. His heart was racing now and he felt like he could not run any longer, he lost the mare on the travels back to the Falls.
Before he knew it Jedi had reached the entrance of the Falls, it was night now and most of the horses should be a sleep, he did not want to Whinny and potentially wake up the others. He slid to a halt digging up the grass beneath his hooves revealing the dirt the layed beneath. He was breathing heavy slowly scanning his head around the Falls hoping to catch a glimpse of the golden mare. And luck just happened to be on his side, he caught the golden mare out of the corner of his eyes. He broke into a gallop and moved towards her "Ashara!" he yelled trying to catch her attention. She could not hide from him forever, she would have to answer his questions.
03-22-2016, 07:11 PM (This post was last modified: 03-22-2016, 07:12 PM by Ashara.)
ASHARA
She was a mess of emotions. The wall that blocked the feelings and memories of the past obliterated. Her heart ached from the loss and longing of that special bond of the chestnut filly from her youth. Something she locked away as foolish innocence couldn’t be denied any longer. She wanted to be normal more than anything but she could not deny that she lacked any attraction for the opposite sex. For the first time in almost a year she felt fear, terrified of being exiled again. The golden vixen waded into the waters of the falls hoping they would cure her flaw. Her tears ran out, and she began to feel numb but nothing could change her affliction. Eventually she climbed out of the chilling liquid, her limbs feeling as numb as her emotionally exhausted heart.
The thundering of hooves brought back a sense of doom. This was it, she was going to lose everything for her stupid mistake. He called her name and a shudder ran through her palomino body. She stood there, wet from the falls, her skin burning from the cold, her heart aching, ready for the lash of insults that would no doubt come. As he neared, the look of confusion on his face was different than the anger she expected. “Hello, Jedi” she managed to speak, perhaps he hadn’t noticed what happened after all. Perhaps her secret, and her home was safe for a little longer.
If you're ever gonna find a silver lining It's gotta be a cloudy day
The bay and white stallion grew closer to the golden vixen, she was soaking wet with water. His eyes shifted from her to the water behind her did she just go in the water? he asked himself is she sick? he wondered as the water is known to heal horses. His confusion grew with the odd actions the mare was taking. His attention flicked back to the mare as she said his name, she said hello like the event that just happened, didn't.
What in the world was going on with this mare, he has grown close to her, even though she has rejected his love towards her he still cared for her, she has grown to be one of his closest friends and he would protect her with all costs. He slowly stepped closer to her, eyeing the surroundings making sure no one could hear them. "Ashara, what is going on? You are acting weird." he spoke softly, almost in a whisper. He did not want to pry, but he wanted to help her, ever since they talked to the silver mare at the meadow she has not been herself.
It was clear she wasn’t fooling him but his reaction still surprised her. She expected anger or disappointment but instead he showed concern. He was a gentleman, she didn’t fear that he would push himself on her like most men, he was respectful and caring but surely this was crossing a line for him. Who could respect a mare who liked mares. She struggled to find the words. “I’m sorry, I’ve struggled to keep this secret for most of my life. I’m not normal, there is something wrong with me.” her tone was hushed too, she appreciated he hadn’t made a scene… yet. She let out a long sigh, gaining the courage to speak the words she had never spoken before. “I don’t like stallions… I’m… I’m attracted to mares.” the words struggled to come out. “Please Jedi, don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to lose my home. I like it here.” Her normally well composed self was a mess, she was vulnerable and weak to him. Her chest tight with anxiety and fear again.
If you're ever gonna find a silver lining It's gotta be a cloudy day
The stag watched the body language of Ashara she was getting upset and he just needed to know why, he wanted to help her. The mare said she was different and he cocked his head with the added confusion more different than a magical lake, more different than wings? he thought to himself. He came from a land with no powers and to come her was a culture shock, what could she add that was more different than that.
And than she said it....
she like mares... the stallion was floored, he had a loss of words. Was this why she rejected him when he tried courting her? How could a mare like a mare? it just did not seem right, they could not reproduce. Was that not the point of life? To leave a linage of yourself. He shook his thoughts and looked at his friend who was in nothing but pain, his heart sank when she told him she feared to lose her home. He moved closer extending his neck to nuzzle hers softly. "Ashara I wont tell anyone" he promised pulling his neck back to himself. "This will always be your home, I promise" he was still confused and had so many questions to ask, but he wanted to comfort his friend as she was in obvious pain.
Amber pools studied his body language as she braced for his reaction, first shock which was expected but then it again turned to concern. Was he really not angry? His response was a huge relief and she leaned into his platonic embrace, tension easing and relishing in his warmth. Her golden limbs still burning from the cold. She had truly found a friend. The vow of silence was broken, and for the first time since her childhood she let someone in, and he didn’t hate her. Her own mother and father couldn’t love her because of the curse but here stood that most gallant stallion she would probably ever know who cared for her regardless. “Thank you. You don’t know how much of a relief that is. I lost my home once because of my affliction, I could not bare to lose it again.” Her words reflected her relief, calm and melancholy. Plus, this kingdom life was so much better than the herd life she had known. Ashara loved having a job, a purpose, where in some ways she was even equal to her male counterpart. Her lungs filled with the bite of late autumn, and her exhale further relaxed her tautness. Love may never be hers again, she could accept that, but having a use, safety and company was enough to make life worth living. Those things were worth hanging onto.
If you're ever gonna find a silver lining It's gotta be a cloudy day
Jedi watched the mare turn from tense and scared to relaxed and relieved. His heart was warm at the thought she trust him with this secret. He had no idea who else knew about this and wondered how many equines in her life knew. He listened as she said she lost her home over the preference. Did her family disown her for this? The stag lost everything at a young age and could not imagine losing them because they looked the other way. He was not like most horses, he was gentle, kind and understanding.
His ears flicked back with anger and pain for the golden mare "You lost your home?" he questioned after the mare told him the information. "How many other horses have you told?" he was curious to know if Kreios or Ygritte knew. Was this a secret that only he knew? What was her plan in the future, it would be questioned seasons from now when she still was not courted. She could be forced by than, horses are relentless in the breeding season. The golden vixen held his heart at one point, and although she denied him she still was his closest friend. They joined the kingdom close in time and he has grown with the mare. He raised his head a cold breeze blew his hair in a whirlwind, breathing the brittle air that had a beautiful scent.
Honey-hued body moved closer to the stag, absorbing his heat and reaching out to scratch his wither as he spoke. Something about being vulnerable makes one want closeness. It was a friendly gesture to groom, and she could trust he wouldn’t take it the wrong way. A real bonding moment. She couldn’t recall the last time a moment like this was imparted. Under the moonlight, allocating warmth and having a heart to heart. She continued to massage down his spine with her upper lip for a little while after he spoke. Her stiff legs were warming to a more moderate temperature. As Ygritte had promised the winters in the beautiful kingdom were fairly mild compared to the barren white she had known. The breeze stirred her flaxen mane, although chilly it was clean smelling and dry.
“When I was just a yearly, there was another filly from a different stallion who had joined our herd. My father disliked that she wasn’t of his lineage but allowed her to live and travel with us. We were kids, babies really, I don’t think we knew what love was but it sure seemed like it. We spent every waking moment playing, grazing and travelling together. She was my best friend. Eventually it became more than that and we were too young to know to hide it. My mother who saw us napping with necks entwined warned us to stop such inappropriate behaviour but of course we didn’t understand, we just did what felt natural. My father caught us next, he was furious, he chased me out and told me to never come back while my mother watched with disgust. I followed the herd for a few days, trying to sneak back in but his threats were more and more severe so I eventually left. I don’t know what happened to her. I was so heart broken and confused I travelled alone for the rest of my life until a year ago. I haven’t told anyone since, I’ve never said those words aloud until tonight. I tried to deny it all these years but I can’t help how I feel. I don’t know if there are others like her and I.”
Her thoughts drifted, there would always be a yearning for love, it’s an integral craving of one’s soul. And she did love, she admired and cared for the queen and Jedi, but it was a different kind than the one that makes you feel whole. Should such a thing exist for her though… seemed impossible. She reached out to continue grooming again noticing how much the moon had travelled in the sky already tonight, had they really spent most of the night together talking? She felt blessed to have a confidant. She had avoided Kreios, having heard of his telepathy, he seemed such a man’s man it was unlikely he would understand like Jedi did. The more equines she was around, the harder this secret would be. And how long could she go without bearing suspicion. Perhaps others would be as understanding as the painted warrior, or perhaps they would beat her up for being an abomination, it wasn’t worth the risk.
If you're ever gonna find a silver lining It's gotta be a cloudy day
Jedi listened to Asharas life story with disgust. The stag was so excited to have a foal with his genes, he could not imagine disowning his foal no matter what they did. He would always love his kin, how could Asharas father treat her the way he did? It made anger grow in Jedi, he could not believe such a horrific event and Ashara had to endure it, his heart raced faster as his blood pressure rised. The horse could not feel the sting of the cold wind as his body was now heated on his own. The stag realized his anger was showing and tried to calm himself so it was not as obvious.
With a traumatic experience like that Jedi couldn't blame the golden vixen for keeping the secret to herself. What did the mares father do to the other foal? Did he keep that foal and disowned his own daughter? He could not keep the anger from showing on his body. His ears flicked back with irritation as she continued the story. He was at a loss of words as the mare wondered if others were like him. He did not know of any, but perhaps they kept the secret as close as Ashara did. There had to be others like her, that they didn't know about. "Although I do not know exactly what to say to you, I think there is a horse out there for you" he spoke truthfully, there was someone out there for Ashara. "But Ashara.....how do you plan to keep this a secret from the rest of the kingdom?" he wondered to the mare. Every year mating season would come, the stallions would get frisky and Ashara could be forced. Does the mare want a foal? Although Jedi could not imagine living a life without having a kin, perhaps this was not a desire in Asharas life plan.
03-28-2016, 02:02 PM (This post was last modified: 03-28-2016, 02:03 PM by Ashara.)
ASHARA
Ashara withdrew from his anger, she had taken to studying her kinds emotions and actions having years of social behaviour to catch up on, perfecting the skill of empathy. It made her uneasy, was he mad at her? The whole night had been such an emotional outburst, she had nothing left to feel, exhausted by the fear and pain. Her eyes were dry, and her body growing tired from the mental fatigue and the effort it took to dry itself in the cold. The painful memories now played like a rerun. Their first winter when they had wandered off and got stuck in a hole in the snow at the base of a tree. The duo thought they would die and yet were content because they were together. The fillies huddled together to keep warm until her mother found them and helped pull them out.
For all she knew that long lost filly could have been killed by her father, or forced to stay and raped by him. Nature was cruel, and that depressing life was all she knew until Beqanna.
She smiled at his words, half of her believing it was just a line to comfort her, the other half hoping it was true. When he asked how she planned to keep the secret, she was stumped. Obviously her efforts so far hadn’t worked. She resolved the most sure-fire way to avoid suspicion and conflict was to appear to have a mate. Someone who knew her secret, and respected her enough to go along with it and not get carried away when hormones raged. Someone like Jedi. The expression on her face was a mix of a sly grin, pleased there was a suitable solution, and inquisitive, almost flirtatious, wondering if he’d go along with it. Of course when she did not bear a foal, scepticism may arise again but perhaps she could claim sterility. A part of her yearned for a child, and someday she may come to an understanding with a stallion to make that happen, if she could do so without inducing colic. A shudder ran through her body at the thought of breeding with her dear friend, it seemed so wrong. “Well… I think the easiest way to avoid suspicion would be to appear to have a mate. It would avoid most questions. I know it’s a lot to ask…” Her amber pools pleading “It would mean a lot if you could do that for me?”
If you're ever gonna find a silver lining It's gotta be a cloudy day
