[private] its harder than you think, mazikeen

[bolder]

Bolder doesn't know why, but when his silver eyes first opened in Hyaline, the sunlight had blinded him. More than that, it had felt as if it was burning right through him. (Not that he knew what it was doing to him. Bolder couldn't see the way that his normally chestnut coat was black, that the golden stripes he almost always kept in whatever form he wore were absent. He saw nothing while his eyes remained closed, choosing to linger in a void of his own making in an attempt to keep out the sun.) 

The shadows surrounding him appeared like a strange smoke, wafting on a breeze that wasn't really there, and even his own shadow, began to burn away as the day continued to break through the trees. It beamed down on him, and the wispy-black pegasus stumbled through a darkness of his own making, trying move away from the searing pain that made him want to double over. It was everywhere - a blazing, burning sensation that lingered just beneath his skin. 

But Bolder doesn't cry out. He keeps moving, keep going. He relies on his wings, feeling his way towards the trees. As the sun continued to rise, the inky blackness of his coat began to fade. Slowly, the copper hue beneath began to reveal itself. His golden stripes began to emerge, glinting beneath the murky coloring that was finally dissipating. The strange phenomena continued from his legs, to his underbelly, from the tips of wings, to his broad shoulders, until finally Bolder was no longer covered in shadow.  

Once beneath the thickly-covered tree canopy, he could open his eyes. Lingering in the shadows, the young stallion was now dark with sweat that coated his skin and foamed on his chest. What had just happened to him? Was this a result of the Mountain? Of his quest or their Dark God? Bolder tossed his head once, trying to settle his agitated mind. 

What had happened on the Mountain? 

He tried to recall it, the memories coming to him in fragments. They had been digging, searching for the Magic beneath it, and then? His mind began to race, remembering the place that he found at the bottom of their world. A place that had been stripped of Magic, a place where he hadn't been able to shift. He tilts his crescent-marked head towards the side, glancing towards one of his wings and he stretches it out. Bolder begins to change, deciding to imitate the markings of a kestrel or hawk. But instead of lightening, dappling, striping or even changing color, the wing becomes as dark and obscure as shadow.

@Mazikeen <3

[Mazikeen]

The shaking of the earth had put the concern of landslides into Mazikeen’s head and she had spent some time going through the mountains, making sure no one was trapped. It isn’t very often now that she shifts - only when she needs to, not as a default.

So once she has landed by the woods and her sharp eagle-eyes are no longer needed, she returns to a horse. It still feels a little strange, this calmness that was born out of distress. Just being… content. Even if the earth is shaking and threats still exist outside of Hyaline’s borders.

Strange doesn’t even cover it some days - it just feels downright surreal that she could have found happiness again.

Beneath the trees, the glow from her twisted horns is more noticeable and she is just inhaling deeply when her eyes catch on a shadowy movement. In the next second she is moving forward to investigate.

The sight of unnatural shadows no longer bothers her. Though they had once been associated with nightmares, there have since been kinder versions introduced into her life. Ones that wrap around her to keep her warm, ones that come with a strange and wonderful spark of happiness.

She is willfully choosing to ignore that shadows have been a common theme in her life. With those she knows anad herself - because there had been a time when she too had possessed wings of shadow. It is much preferable to think about how this was just something that everyone had at one time or another.

If there was a common theme, she’d like it to be something other than darkness.

But these things aren’t on her mind when she looks from the shadowy wing to Bolder’s face. The smile that had grown when she recognized the moon-marking on the young stallion falters into concern when she notices the sweat coating his skin. Her attention focuses on him and though there is some intensity there, it’s inspired by concern. Instinct has her eyes check for injuries, even though she possesses no ability to heal. “Bolder? Are you alright?”

@bolder

[bolder]

Bolder can feel his heart starting to race as glanced at the shadow - of the unnatural way that his wing had shifted - and only when his silver eyes find the familiar warmth of his Aunt's ember eyes does it begin to slow down. In her presence, the young shifter found it easy to calm and regain some of his senses. His mind still struggled to process everything that had happened - everything that was still happening - but the striped pegasus turns his head towards Mazikeen and shifts his weight uneasily.

He stretches the wing out, where the ends expose to sunlight, and though the sensation continues to burn slightly, the dark coloring fades back to copper.

"I -," the shapeshifter begins, distracted by the pain and the transition that was happening on the edges of his feathers. He angled it, tilting it up towards the sun where the red-and-gold hues caught on the daylight. All traces of the shadows had vanished. "I went to the Mountain," he offers as an explanation. They had talked about it many times before, and Bolder had listened carefully as Mazikeen had explained what the journey had entailed and what her quest had required.

"It wasn't the Faeries up there, though." He continues, pausing only to glance towards the purple peaks behind them where the Mountain reigned and then swallowing hard as his throat begins to dry, "What do you know about Carnage?"

@Mazikeen

[Mazikeen]

Mazikeen’s attention alternates between the wing, watching as it fades from shadow back to the copper she associates with Bolder. As he moves it and begins to speak, her gaze moves back to his silver eyes. The mountain? Questions bubble up inside of her mind but she waits, seeing what information he will offer. Not wanting to push him if he did not want to explain.

So different than how she would have treated him before. There’s only patience and concern (and - okay - maybe a little confusion).

Her frown deepens when he says that the fairies hadn’t greeted him on the mountain. The name he offers only clarifies things a little. Mazikeen had heard of those who had felt a summons draw them out to where tasks were demanded of them, but it had never been something she had experienced herself.

Either she was not particularly interesting enough to summon or she had simply ignored them when they had come - either way didn’t feel like she had really missed out on anything. Especially not as her nephew - for he will always be family to her - seems so troubled. “Not much. But the rumours aren’t usually great.” He was just a name to her, and maybe if she had paid a little more attention to Agetta’s stories she would have more information.

She steps a little closer, watching the young stallion carefully as she speaks encouragingly. “What happened, Bolder?”

@bolder

[bolder]

It’s not that Bolder can’t see the difference between how Mazikeen once was and how she is now.

There would have been a time that his aunt would have been a little sharper with him. She has always been his staunchest supporter, and as always, she has been his mentor. He wouldn’t be half the shifter he is now if not for her teachings; if not for Mazikeen, there could be the possibility that Bolder wouldn’t have learned to shift at all.

Nashua might have always kept him in the North.
Might have convinced him that shifting was some kind curse instead of the gift it was.

With the memory of the shadow on his sienna skin, Bolder glances away before looking up again. He would never skirt away from the truth, and he certainly wouldn’t shy away from sharing it with Mazikeen. ”I climbed the Mountain,” he begins to tell her. He doesn’t look away as the young pegasus continues, ”and it was Carnage waiting for us.”

Bolder doesn’t give her all the grim details. But he does tell her that it was the Dark God that told them to dig (and he tells her that there were many of them), that they tried to break through the Mountain and release the Magic contained there. ”So we dug, and dug, until the ground shook.” He tells her about the darkness that followed, that he doesn’t remember much of what came after.

”I woke up not far from Hyaline,” the pegasus says, ”but there are murmurs of strange things that came after. The South sank, and something else rose in its place.” He stretches his wings out and when a ray of sunlight strikes the edges of his sienna feathers, the shadows on his skin begin to come again. "This has been happening ever since."

@Mazikeen

[Mazikeen]

The source of the earthquake and the sinking of the south brings a selfish form of relief for Mazikeen. To learn that it had been caused by (or at least originated near) the mountain and yet Hyaline and the east had remained unscathed. She does feel sorry for those who were in Loess and the bordering lands - and hopes so much that Sickle hadn't been in the Pampas when everything had happened.

“Apparently we have new aquatic neighbours.” She hadn’t been curious enough to go explore the new sea herself, but she had heard similar murmurs. Maybe she hoped that if she didn’t engage, Hyaline could continue on as it has been - unchanged and safe from whatever madness might be occurring elsewhere in Beqanna.

But she’s thinking more about who is in front of her at the moment than she is considering those wider thoughts. “I wonder if you touched some of the mountain’s magic while you were digging.” It would be nice if it was as simple and innocent of an explanation as that. She knew that shadows didn’t have to be a bad thing, didn’t have to be wrapped up as part of a curse. Mazikeen watches with a combination of concern and awe as the shadows begin to pass over Bolder’s skin again and she asks “Does it hurt at all?”

@bolder

[bolder]

The brightening day gives Bolder’s gray eyes a curious glint when he glances next to his Aunt. After telling her what had happened on the Mountain, and what little he remembered after, the moon-marked pegasus hadn’t been sure what Mazikeen’s reaction might be. Though he is now of an equal height to the Alpha, there will always be a part of him that will look up to her.

That will want her approval, and even now, Bolder searches her pale face for a sign of what Mazikeen’s reaction to all this might be.

”Like nereids?” the striped stallion questioned her lightly, almost teasing in his tone. He’d spent time in Ischia before; he had enjoyed the tropics of Beqanna (and though he wouldn’t admit it in the presence of Mazikeen, he enjoyed the company of its lovely residents as well). Hyaline would always be his home, but the winters there could be bitter and long. Perhaps not as much as Taiga, but it didn’t mean that Bolder didn’t enjoy exploring the warmer climates of Beqanna during the colder months.

”I could try and learn more,” he offered earnestly to the black-pointed mare. Perhaps he might learn some truth beyond the rumors, and if that information might help Mazikeen and the Pack, all the better. Maybe Malik might join him; they could assume a disguise and make a cousins trip out of it without ever attracting notice back to Hyaline. He distracted himself with the thought and lifted his head absent-mindedly, contemplating the possibility, hoping that there was some truth in Mazikeen’s words.

That what was wrong with him was just some kind of stray, strange magic from the Mountain.

There was little else he could do after Bolder spoke about Carnage, and the ground-shaking, and tumbling into darkness. After he revealed that he had brought some of it out with him. It rippled against his skin (at least the parts that still remained in the sun) in dark waves and the shapeshifter shook his head. ”No,” he explained, ”It feels strange. Like…,” Bolder lifted his eyes to the branches overhead them and his brow furrowed as he struggled to describe the sensation. Bolder drew back his wing away from the light and quickly, his feathers regained their copper hue. ”You know when you wake up and sometimes another part of you remains asleep?” Glancing back, the pegasus tried to meet his Aunt’s fire-orange gaze.

”It feels different, but I still feel like… me.” He went on to tell her. ”If that makes sense?”

@Mazikeen

[Mazikeen]

Mazikeen’s grateful that Bolder’s first instinct when hearing ‘aquatic neighbours’ is to think of pretty nereids and not sea monsters. She doesn’t miss the light, almost-teasing tone and her smile brightens, warming her orange eyes. “Oh, would you like them to be nereids?" It’s difficult for her to remember that Bolder is grown now, and all too easy for her to assume only innocent reasons for his interest in fair sea creatures.

She shakes her head a moment later. “I’m not really sure what they are, I just heard that they lived beneath the sea. If you’re feeling curious, I certainly wouldn’t mind knowing a little more though.” Mazikeen had not felt curious enough to explore. Part of her knew she should, part of her acknowledged that she could do a better job keeping those within Hyaline safe if she had more information.

Maybe it was foolish of her to not be overly concerned, to feel safe because of Hyaline’s elevation, but if Bolder was up for investigating and then filling her in - that certainly seemed like a win-win.

He continues, answering her question about whether the shadows hurt. She relaxes a little when he says it doesn’t, though some of the tension works its way back into her as he continues. Mazikeen forces herself to believe Bolder is talking about the tingling sensation of a leg being asleep, not the horror of being trapped inside of your own mind while another consciousness was in control.

It was most likely magic from the mountain, she reasons with herself. There is no reason at all to think the curse has jumped hosts.

It helps that he follows up this statement by saying that he feels like himself. So when he asks if that makes sense she’s able to offer him a smile and tell him quietly. “I think that makes sense. I’m glad you still feel like you.” She adds and it alleviates some of the weight that had been pressing on her chest.

@bolder

[bolder]

”I -,” the normally smooth-talking stallion pauses, feeling an unfamiliar warmth creeping up his neck and towards his cheeks. Bolder certainly wouldn’t mind if the new arrivals were as pretty as the Nereids, but certainly minds saying so in front of his Aunt. He’s enjoyed his visits to Ischia, and to Tephra as well, without ever revealing why to anyone in Hyaline.

(Though Bolder is fairly sure that Malik – even with his recent disappearances – could guess.)

So he swallows, and then as evenly as he can muster his voice, simply says: ”They are very – nice.”

And then relief nearly swallows him whole when they move the subject towards the Baltians, what they might be, what they might make of the rumors. The idea of an outing – especially one that could claim to be done for intelligence – appeals to Bolder. They are not without protection in Hyaline; she has a strong leader, they are fortified with three entities, and there is still the might of the Pack. The changes across Beqanna have affected them little, and if there is any threat posed to them because of the Sinking of the South, Bolder thinks its even less.

But as he was coming to learn, there was little harm in knowing more. 

”Is there anywhere particular you’d like me to go?” He had gone to the Ruins and discovered little (apart from the lovely Lillibet who flickers briefly across his thoughts). Soaring over what remained of Loess, the Pampas, and Sylva had revealed nothing but the murky sea below him. ”Or that you’d like to know?” Bolder asked eagerly, momentarily forgetting the Mountain and the shadows it had cast.

@Mazikeen

[Mazikeen]

Mazikeen’s smile lingers, her eyes dancing with amusement, but she doesn’t press Bolder anymore on the subject of the nice nereids he’s met. She does not want to embarrass him and - some instinct tells her - she probably does not want to know any more than what she can guess.

If he ever brought home a nereid and asked if they could stay, she certainly would not be surprised.

So the focus shifts to Baltia and Mazikeen makes herself focus on appreciation for Bolder’s enthusiasm rather any guilt over her own shortcomings. It was okay - better, even - to rely on others and get their help than it was to isolate even with the intention of protecting her.

He would be fine, she told herself. He had survived Hyaline under the reign of herself and Gale and didn’t seem any worse for it - surely he could handle a little reconnaissance.

“Are you up for some swimming? I don’t know where exactly but I’ve heard their home is under the ocean somewhere off the southern coasts. If they don’t object to you exploring a little, it could be worth knowing the extent of our new neighbours and if they’re the peaceful sort.” Had they been responsible for the sinking of the south or had that just been a coincidence?

Her affection for Bolder - her nephew still, no matter what - causes worry to cloud her expression and she adds seriously. “Only if they don’t object though. A little bit of information isn't worth you getting hurt.”

@bolder