 Kushiel had always been a little wayward. When he was in a more benevolent state, he would sometimes wonder exactly how many years he had taken off his mother’s life. Oh wait, never mind, she was immortal. But still, the fact that she could live forever and had only one shitty son to show for it was a thought that kept him up at night. Kushiel chuckled morosely.
What was he trying to do? Assess his worth? That would lead to nothing but trouble.
This train of thought, while futile, had unburied guilt he pretended not to feel. Gallows had done the best she could with him, and she had contended with very poor starting material. But despite the odds, she had persevered, and had kept him alive long enough for him to abandon her and the home she had made for him.
She should get something in return, like a visit from her adult son.
So it was with a sense of self congratulations that he made is way to the Valley. He hadn’t given this plan much thought beyond the credit it would do him. Surely, people would talk for years to come about Gallows and her sensitive, attentive son.
He hadn’t, for example, considered how angry Gallows surely was. She loved the Valley, and Kushiel hadn’t spared it more than a “see ya later sucker” on his way out. As he neared the entrance to his childhood home, the guardian mountains seemed larger and craggier than ever. He hadn’t been gone that long, yet it already seemed like a lifetime.
Kushiel was not used to being a contributing member of society. The fact that he had taken the initiative to join the ranks of Chamber diplomats was something that still left him speechless. He had accomplished more this past season than he had intended to his whole life.
What was his mom going to say?
Kushiel slunk past the mountains, trying not to think about full grown stallions that still feared their mothers. He tried to tell himself that while those assholes were real tools, he was in a totally different boat.
They didn’t have his mother. It was a completely different situation.
Out of habit, he made his way to the Valley’s gathering spot. He didn't stop to consider that he wouldn’t be welcome. He had still be born here, raised here. The fact that he had left in a puff of bravado and smoke couldn’t change that.
“Ma?” He bawled, once again trying not to think about full grown stallions who still called their mother’s Ma.
“You have to forgive me sometime, might as well be now.
Kushiel some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall
assuredly, we must all hang together
08-24-2015, 03:54 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-24-2015, 03:55 PM by Gallows.)
I sense Kushiel the moment he wanders across the borders, just as cocky as he's always been. I note with satisfaction that his bravado with me only goes skin deep. He can pretend, and I'll let him pretend, but we both know he isn't pulling anything over on his dear mother.
I grin wickedly at his words. Forgive him? I believe forgiveness requires penitence, and I have a feeling that my son is anything but penitent. Sorry he has angered me, perhaps, but nothing more.
I make him wait. My heart is filled with irritating adoration for my boy, but I'm not about to let him go unpunished for abandoning the home of his birth. Just thinking about his departure makes me cross. It's not that I thought he would never leave me. I just never thought he would leave the Valley.
After a few moments of appropriate pause, I tuck my wings and canter to greet my son. He is tall, much taller than me, and reeks of smoke and flame and burnt hair. He reminds me of his father.
"Kushiel."
You may not have realized you were coming home to be scolded, my boy, but you will in a moment.
"I heard a rumor you're serving the Chamber."
Which is bullshit, of course. I haven't heard a rumor. He told me himself as soon as he came close enough to read his mind. I say this in the same tone of voice I would use when he was a boy caught setting blazes. (Let's be clear. It wasn't the fire setting that bothered me. It was his inability to control the blaze, and the possibility that the Valley would burn with everything else.) Poor boy, he's unfortunate in that my mothering instincts are compounded my ability to actually know when he's being rotten.
Granted, he could be doing worse. He could be hanging around the Deserts.
"Any girls or children I should know about, darling? Or are we going to talk about something a little more serious?"
I nuzzle his neck and then nip him once, hard enough to let him know I'm displeased, but barely more than a bug bite. He's a big boy. He can take it.
And damn, if I'm not proud of him.
G A L L O W S
We must all hang together or, assuredly, we shall all hang separately.
|
08-25-2015, 12:42 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-25-2015, 01:34 AM by Kushiel.)
Kushiel squirmed with impatience, something he had not done since the last time he saw his mother. It took him a moment, but a heartbeat later he realized what was going on. Kushiel groaned.
The Valley was not this big. He knew what she was doing.
Kushiel threw back his head back dramatically. It was moments like this that he wished he could read thoughts, as well as have his read. Was she actually mad at him? He was under the impression that he was impossible to stay mad at. She had forgiven him so many times, he had begun to assume it was his charm, rather than her benevolence, that always won out in the end.
After all, he knew Gallows well enough to know that benevolent was not the first adjective many would use to describe her.
That distinct privilege was reserved for her little boy. Just as he knew Mom, he knew himself well enough not to underestimate her benevolence, he could think of many times it had been graciously given. Or at least, the privilege had been reserved for him. He may have screwed up this time. Kushiel pushed aside a tiny worm of discomfort. It was not in his nature to contemplate his behavior. If he started doing that a floodgate would open that no power on earth could close.
Kushiel smirked, perhaps that would be they day he finally tracked down Dad.
She found him just as he was smirking, and Kushiel quickly tried to school his features into something that could pass as repentance. It always took him a minute, to remember that he couldn’t fool her. He was so used to deceiving everyone else that he turned that he turned to it out of habit, rather than desire.
“Mom.” He replied, as serious as she had been, save for a tiny tugging smile he couldn’t crush.
“Your…rumors,” He shot her a chastising look, because he very much doubted anyone cared about him enough to gossip, “are correct. You’re the proud mother of a working stiff.” It went unsaid that he didn’t do a lot of working, he was here visiting after all. Not to mention, only the truly gelatinous would call him stiff. Still, when he grinned this time it was genuine, and stretched to his ears. He was happy to see her, and to see her talking to him.
Her next question, however, brought about a patented scowl.
“Mother,” he said, not unkindly, “please, what woman would have me?” Kushiel didn’t mean any woman. There were plenty of women who would have him despite his truly disastrous personality. For all his foul language and somewhat scoundrel ways, Kushiel didn’t want just any woman. Don’t misunderstand, he wanted just about every woman he saw, but not the way his mother meant.
Not in the way he would mention to her. Not it a way that was real.
Kushiel continued, his tone self deprecating.
“And don’t get me started on children. I can’t stand the little beasts.” That was a brazen, bold faced lie. Kushiel liked children. He related to them in a way he related to hardly anyone else. He just didn't want to get Gallows hopes up. It would be a strong woman indeed, who decided to have children with Kushiel. So strong, in fact, that she was probably fictional.
For a single, traitorous moment, Kushiel’s thoughts flitted to Engelsfors, all sultry and sinew, sparking like gold. Then to her son, a strapping lad. His smile softened, until he remembered that bastard lover of hers. Immediately, the scowl returned.
He glanced, alarmed, at this mother, then smirked deeply. ”It serves you right,” he thought, “if you’re going to poke around in my head.” Quickly, without hesitation, Kushiel nuzzled her face, wuffling softly in her nose. In a rare, unguarded show, Kushiel dropped his bravado and bullshit, and looked into her eyes.
"I've missed you, Mom."
Kushiel some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall
assuredly, we must all hang together
08-25-2015, 03:03 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-25-2015, 03:07 PM by Gallows.)
He's so adorable when he's trying to be repentant and serious. I appreciate the effort, but more so the reaction when he remembers that an act doesn't work with me.
Silly little man, I think as his lips stretch into a smile. He is rarely serious. I'm about one hundred percent certain he gets that from me, and not his father. (I mean, have you seen Carnage? I think he actually believes he's all that and a bag of chips. Dark god, my ass.) Kushiel wormed his way out of a lot of lectures as a colt by making me laugh when I probably should have been sterner. I have never understood the point of being stoic all the time. Sure, you could argue that there is a time and a place, but I would argue that humor always lightens things up.
Plus, hello, fun? Just because I am willing and capable of kidnapping, threatening and fighting for whatever I want, doesn't mean I can't have fun while doing so. In fact, I think it's better my way.
His joy is infectious and I find myself mimicking his happy grin, which grows wider at his pointed look. The truth is, I have missed Kushiel with an ache much stronger than I would have believed. I'd gotten used to having my incorrigible boy around. His absence made me feel unsettled. The little brat wormed his way into my heart the first time he nuzzled into my chest and pulled a feather from my wings. I should have known he would leave, but like any mother, I had hoped to keep him longer. Seeing him here makes feel lighthearted.
I chuckle at Kushiel's scowl. He had to suspect I would ask about girls. I'd like it to not be a shock when he tells me he's impregnated some wretch. Personally, I'm a tad relieved there aren't any babies yet. Sometimes the sons of Carnage feel like they have to live up to their father's manwhore ways, and I just really don't want to be the grandmother of three hundred children. Can you imagine the noise? There's a reason I didn't get pregnant again. Children are loud and messy and irritating. However, it doesn't surprise me that Kush loves them. He's a half grown child himself.
"The kind of woman who does well with bullshit, Kushiel." I look away for a moment, remembering the one stallion who came close enough to being my match. Remesis was full of himself and the Valley, and his charms were enough that even I was attracted. For a long time he was my right hand man. It was serious enough that Kushiel almost had a different father.
I eye my strapping boy, trying to be objective. "If she's in Beqanna I have no doubt you'll offend and exasperate her, and then you'll charm your way into being first in her heart."
I chuckle, a deep throated laugh, and shake my head.
"You realize you just described yourself as a child? I'm certain there are a few Valley members who used the exact words 'little beast' to describe you."
Something to do with my son trying out his flame control on the tails of unsuspecting victims. Personally, I thought the squeals of surprise were a little funny, but I couldn't let Kushiel know that. He always looked so puzzled. The flames loved him, why didn't everyone love the flames?
I wince as I prober further into his mind, and then scowl darkly at him. "I could have lived without knowing that. You need to put a proverbial sock on the door if you're going to admire a girl's ass and I'm around."
Or, you know, I could just not sort through his thoughts, but I instantly dismiss that. Kushiel tends to lie, also a trait he gets from his parents, and I like knowing when I have the full truth.
"I missed you too, you traitorous wretch." I reply softly, nuzzling him in return. "And if you ever make me wait so long before you visit again, you'll be sorry. I'm still your mother after all."
I gently tug on his mane with my teeth.
"I guess if you had to abandon the Valley, you'll do well enough in the Chamber." I say grudgingly. He knows the Chamber will always be a distant second to the Valley for me, but he also knows that the Chamber is better news than hearing that he joined the Gates or some such idiotic place. "But tell me, darling, what could possibly be better about the Chamber than here?"
I look at him sternly, my cross tone demanding a response.
G A L L O W S
We must all hang together or, assuredly, we shall all hang separately.
|
Kushiel grinned. He could always trust his mother to see the best in him, and to have misplaced faith in him, while simultaneously teasing him. It only made sense that she had a robust sense of humor, how else would she have been able to raise him and keep her sanity?
He had loved watching tails burn.
Perhaps that was why he alway took such care with his own. He knew how long it took for those things to grow back. Years, it took years,
“If an innocent child could scare them so they deserved whatever misfortune befell them.” This was another lie, and for all his dedication, Kushiel couldn’t say it with a straight face. He chortled pleasantly, reminiscing about the happy days of his childhood.
How carefree they had been.
Kushiel, a proud member of a club reserved for the truly shameless, took his mother’s teasing in stride. He had been admiring a girl’s ass, and it had been horrendously awkward. Or at least, it would have been for another pair who had a normal mother son relationship. There’s beat to the tune of its own drummer, and Kushiel liked it that way. If she was going to be in his head she might as well know all the gritty, skeezy details.
She shouldn’t be spared from understanding the type of man she had raised. Besides, he kind of liked it when she called him a wretch. It was done with such affection, it was enough to warm a man’s heart.
“Don’t worry Mother, I will time my visits perfectly. Whenever there is important business to be done in the Chamber I’ll make it my business to be here.” If you didn’t know Kushiel, you might think he was joking. Kushiel may be a working stiff, but he didn’t intend to work himself to exhaustion. It was uncivilized.
Just as he expected she would, she wanted to know why the Chamber and not the Valley. As a child Kushiel had wondered, if he and the valley were both burning, which would his mother run to first? He liked to pretended that was why he was always setting fires, to get attention.
It was a lie of course, Kushiel had gotten more attention than he knew what to do with or how to evade. He just liked fire. Besides, Kushiel couldn’t burn, or, only his mane could. It was possible his tail could as well, he hadn’t mustered up the courage to test it.
“A man needs to be able to look at asses without his mother knowing about it. Besides, I’m sure you find it much easier to love me when you don’t have to explain why the kingdom is burning to the ground.” Kushiel paused, then continued brightly.
“But, I promise I’ll come back here first if Straia ever finds out what an awful wretch I am.“ There, an answer serious enough to silence anyone.
Kushiel some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall
assuredly, we must all hang together
“You were a terror.” I say, with an attempt at being stern. My eyes betray me, however. I can never stay mad at Kushiel for long. I half suspect he knows this. Children have a way of wrapping you around their finger. Or tying a noose around your neck.
Kushiel and I's relationship is so much different than my mother and I. Epic wasn't a horrible mother, she just wasn't really there. Cade and I half raised ourselves. My father I met once, and it was seven shades of awkward. We didn't really feel like family. Our first visit was our last. My brother was a different story, thank god, or I might have gone insane. We got along famously, and I wasn't a bit jealous when he became King of the Valley. Truthfully, I was relieved. It gave me something to do, following my twin around and helping to keep his kingdom in order. Along the way, of course, I fell in love.
No, you idiot, not with a stallion. With the Valley.
Don't you know me by now?
I know Kushiel thinks I am daft for my utter devotion to this piece of dirt. To him, land is land is land, and one place is as good as another. He needs attention. I need a place of my own. Perhaps Kushiel, knowing that the Valley was his home, cannot understand that.
But I don't hold it against him. That would be idiotic. Our childhoods were different. I tried everything in my power to make sure that was true.
“Oh, god, are you going to make me tell you I love you? You could burn half a dozen lands and after a sound thrashing, I'd still claim you as mine.” I give him a cross look. “And I suppose if you end up burning down the Chamber I'll have to thank you.”
I don't hate the Chamber. That's too strong a word. I've just never been on easy terms with them. Too similar, I suppose, and we have been the target of their raids before. Granted, we return the favor occasionally. The Chamber and the Valley; it's like two men having a fight over whose dick is bigger.
“Well, Kushiel, if you find an ass you particular like, I hope you'll let me meet her. Wouldn't you want me to tell you how she really feels?
I grin wickedly. Imagine that scene for a moment. Does it amuse you as much as it does me?
G A L L O W S
We must all hang together or, assuredly, we shall all hang separately.
|
08-31-2015, 09:39 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-01-2015, 11:24 AM by Kushiel.)
Kushiel was blessed with a devoted mother. Along with his looks (another gift from his mother) it was one of the few things going for him. Oh sure, he had a powerful ability that could be turned on destruction, but he didn’t have the will to wield it, at least for anything other than his own amusement.
Perhaps, more accurately, it could be said that he had everything going for him but lacked the motivation, discipline and general will to make anything of it.
There were those that would commend his lack of interest in politics. There were those who would praise him for refusing to be drawn into the rat race. Kushiel simply hadn’t met those people yet. But still, for all his griping, and for all her griping, Kushiel knew his mother loved him, and that was not a small thing. There was, however, no need for her to say it. He grinned crookedly.
“Oh please don’t, you’ll just embarrass us both.” That idea was on the list of absurdities. It would seem that Kushiel and Gallows were not easily embarrassed. If it were possible it would have already happened. His grin grew a little wider.
“But I’m glad to know that I can always come home to Mom, despite whatever unforgivable thing I do. Just for that, I’ll set a little bit of the Chamber on fire for your birthday. My gift to you.” Truly, his own nobility sometimes left him staggering. He took comfort in knowing that Gallows was true to her word. If Kushiel remembered correctly, he had already done several unforgivable things, and each time she managed to forgive him. A good woman indeed, undeserving of the burden placed on her. Though, before he could feel too sorry for her, he remembered that most of his traits surely came from her. He lacked the true villainy of his father. Carnage did insane things for what seemed to be the pure joy of doing them. Kushiel never did things if he could avoid it. The two couldn’t be farther apart. Surely he was mostly his mother’s doing. Perhaps deserving than, of the burden placed on her. Besides, she did some things of questionable morality himself. Sure she didn’t set things on fire, but she did read people’s minds. She suggested doing very that, and Kushiel shot her a warning looking.
“You will do no such thing. You can meet this prophetic ass, but I won’t hear a word of what she’s thinking. The best I can hope for is a good looking woman of poor taste to pretend to care for me for as long as she can. If you tell me what she’s really thinking it will ruin everything.” As enjoyable as this topic was, he had something else on his mind, and he was beginning to wonder if he was starting to pick up an interest in politics after all. He quickly dismissed that idea as absurd, he was simply curious. It was one of his more charming traits.
"So, Ma, a little bird told me someone was staging a bit of a coup in my hometown. I don’t need to start hoisting your battle flag do I?” The little bird hadn’t said anything of his mother’s inovlement, but it did kind of sound like something she would do. Better to ask.
Kushiel some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall
assuredly, we must all hang together
Oh, this boy. Such a flatterer.
"You always know just what I want, darling." I grin with unconcealed humor at the thought of the Chamber catching flames. Oh, not for the sake of destruction, but for the interesting amusements it might cause.
It may not seem like it, but Kushiel gets a lot of his lack of motivation from me. I have never been motivated by position or power or fame. It wasn't until I lived in the Valley that I even had a reason to do anything other than exactly what I felt like in the moment. Hedonistic, some would say. Idiotic would be another word. I prefer selective enjoyment. And bless his heart, Kush takes lack of ambition to a new level. Children always do outpace their parents, don't they?
"Oh fine. I won't tell you what she's thinking, but that won't stop me from looking."
Nothing can stop me from that. After all, even if Kushiel claims he would like to stay uninformed, I would like to know if I need to start looking for a place to bury a body. And I can't help but think that he might be a little curious, no matter what he says. He wouldn't want to rob me of the chance to be the overbearing mother in law, now would he?
His next question puts a scowl on my face.
"No." I grumble, genuinely annoyed. "Some colt got to it first."
Demian isn't a child, not really. I just consider anyone younger than me to be, well, childish. It's a flaw but one I'm willing to live with.
And he's not an idiot, I'll hand that to him. He can't lie, at least not to me, and from what I've read he genuinely cares about this place. So I suppose he can have my grudging non-disrespect. Not that I'll tell Demian that. He needs to be kept on his toes. This isn't the Deserts. Coups and dethronings are not usually kind affairs.
"If I take over you won't have to wonder, or have birds inform you, little man." I grin wickedly. "You'll know."
Questionable morality is my middle name. No matter what anyone prescribes to, you will never make me believe it's not all relative. The thing that separates me from the Queen of a formerly goody two shoes kingdom is that they have self imposed morality, and me? I don't make excuses for doing and getting what I want. My loyalties are earned, not easily handed out simply because someone lives near me. If you ask me, and rarely does anyone do so (their loss), morality can be a buzz kill.
"For those of us who can't read minds," I wink, "his name is Demian and he's proposing change and vitality. Which ought to be a given, and is something everyone promises. We'll see if he measures up." I pause. A tale for a tale, dearest. "Tell me about Straia."
I could always sift through his thoughts, but I'd rather hear it from his lips. Change of pace, you know.
G A L L O W S
We must all hang together or, assuredly, we shall all hang separately.
|
Kushiel’s smile to his mother was lazy, indulgent and affectionate. He wouldn’t lie, he was happy not to have to do any campaigning. If she had staged a coup and it went horribly wrong she might have had to come live with him. He tried not to grimace. Wouldn’t that scenario put her in a temper? Kushiel would prefer not to see it. Still, the idea of being a prince did have an allure to it. He could do nothing to exert himself and call it being an esteemed member of the royal family. Royal families were supposed to be figureheads, right? Kushiel was happy to admit that he would be a fabulous figurehead.
“That’s right you’ll inform me. I demand an early invitation to your coronation.” There were some things he was unwilling to comprise on. This was one of them. Should that proud day come, he would want to get there early to watch, and laugh mercilessly at all the fools who were now under his mother’s thumb. Not that it was a bad place to be, Kushiel was a long time resident, but still, give an inch and Gallows probably had the skill and ambition to take a mile.
Kushiel rolled his eyes at her next words. She had to rub it in didn’t she? Sometimes he wasn’t sure why he bothered speaking at all. Probably because he loved the sound of his own voice. That was really the only reason to move his lips at all. Other than to give the eavesdroppers something to do. He was charitable that way.
“Change, yes. Vitality, interesting.” He nodded along, as if it were interesting then groaned loudly, obnoxiously and in a bawling sound thick with exasperation. He needed to make sure everyone knew how very boring both of those ideas were.
“Does he want world peace too? Because it seems like that is where this is going.” Truly, it was so cliche Kushiel was prepared to set Demian on fire just to make him more interesting. It was no secret that Kushiel had no patience for boring things, and his general disdain for people of productivity was clear.
It was all so very plebeian.
Kushiel dropped the act to consider Gallows’ question. Straia was not so easy to explain as Demian, apparently. There were many things he could say about the Chamber queen. He just wasn’t sure which of those things he should say. Surprisingly, the first thing he thought of, for all her power and raven magic, was that she was funny. Not in a haha way, not in the way Kushiel was funny. She was droll and dry in a way that left you wondering if you were a total fool. He liked that in a woman. Still, certainly he could not go visiting other kingdoms and report that his queen was funny. Kushiel didn’t think much of his vocation as a diplomat, but even he thought more of it than that.
“She is powerful…a little scary actually.” That was true. She was as scary as she was funny, and he liked that even more. Still, Kushiel found he couldn’t make himself scared of her. The danger was obvious, right there on the surface, but he found he liked her too much to heed it. He smiled a little and continued.
“And she certainly has enough eyes to keep one of them of me, so I have to mind my manners.” That was another lie. She did have enough raven spies to keep an eye on him, but he hadn’t been minding his manners. His first diplomatic meeting at the Chamber had ended when he all but kidnapped the visiting diplomat to unsuccessfully woo her. But hey, nobody was perfect.
Kushiel some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall
assuredly, we must all hang together
Dear, dear silly boy. If I were going to stage a coup it would be successful, else I wouldn't attempt it at all. There are, after all, some certainties in life. And I feel no need to reach out for the throne. The Valley is always here. She is indifferent to who rules her. Someday I might enter her embrace once more, but for now I am content to worship from the crowd.
See how I can turn laziness into a virtue? Kushiel still has so much to learn.
And yet, as I look at my boy, I have no doubt he has the capacity to escalate lack of ambition to new heights.
"Of course you'd be there. I'd need a useless but pretty prince to keep around and distract the ladies."
I grin wickedly. Kushiel is a lot of things but he isn't useless, and he won't need to read my mind to know that. But I can't let my pleasure in him go to his head. Ah, the plight of an only child. Perhaps he needs an annoying little brother or sister to harass him and keep him humble. Heavens knows I haven't achieved any level of humility.
"Gods, I wish you would." I interject, responding to his thought about setting Demian on fire. It certainly would add some interest around here. Horses would come from all over to see the flaming monarch. My next words are practically a snarl, "If he preached world peace you know I wouldn't let that stand."
After all, if he remembers my long and boring history, I did capture a goody two shoes king named Spectrum once because I was bored and also I wanted to piss off his family. And this in the midst of supposed peace talks.
I couldn't let peace happen. Do you know how dreadfully dreary that is?
So Queen Straia is funny, is she? Silly boy, he ought to know I'd find that a wonderful recommendation. It's easy to be evil and dark and twisted. Having a sense of humor while doing so is double the fun. Still, I'll let Kushiel keep his illusion of privacy. I am a good mother, after all.
"She sounds perfectly equipped to handle your particular brand of trouble, darling. But do be sure to stretch her limits. Everyone needs to grow, you know."
And truth be told, Kushiel knows he can run to me if he fucks things up too badly. What else is a mind reading, immortal mother for, anyways?
G A L L O W S
We must all hang together or, assuredly, we shall all hang separately.
|
|
