"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
The realization that she is pregnant is not one that comes happily to the armoured mare. Fiorina already has visions of herself ballooning up, the armoured plates at her sides stretching and bulging out to fit the horrid little gremlin that is surely growing within her. All this for a simple pleasure? It hardly seemed worth it in the end, though she had enjoyed it at the time.
She wishes she had inherited the ability to lay eggs from her mother and grandmother, so she might plant their hobgoblin of a child in Larva’s path and he would be the one who had to care for it. Or better yet, it could attach itself to him like a parasite and he needs to go around explaining himself to whoever he meets.
These visions and daydreams give her some delight, though not enough. Much like the actions that had led her to this position.
Gods, and to think there are mares out there that do this on purpose.
She had been wandering in search of Taiga, meaning to find Ruthless and Lilliana, but she realizes she’s lost when she catches the scent of the ocean. Before her stretches rocky grasslands instead of redwood trees and she hesitates near the border - aware of her ink-drop appearance and the association easily made with some of her more feral family members. So instead she paces a little bit, hoping someone will ignore the knife tail (it is only twitching a little in agitation, hardly threatening) and ask her if she needs help so she can get pointed in the right direction.
She talks to the little toad of a fetus while she keeps her black eyes open and watchful. Only saying the kindest things.
“The first time I feel you move, I’m cutting you out and leaving you with your father whether you’re ready or not.”
the secret of walking on water is knowing where the rocks lie
Things have really gone to absolute shit lately.
Wow.
She’d never say such a thing!
And yet she just thought it to herself; and it was true. Taiga was only a minor problem with Aten leaving it, and yet she had always somewhat suspected some Loessian to challenge Neverwhere for it. Would Brennen fight for Nerine then? Maybe if Aten asked for it? She wasn’t sure.
The least, she’d said. Her newest recruit stolen before her eyes, together with a yearling child, and what had she done? Nothing. Watches and gritted her teeth. At least Lilliana had stolen the culprit right back, but even that hadn’t helped Eurwen in the least. No - he’d set a fire in the forest; only a small part had really burned out, and most of the greens were already challenging the ashes for their sunlight space, but still. She’d snapped and instead of smartly trapped him, she had only given him incentive to… eat her slowly? Well, she hadn’t felt particularly threatened - he’d break his teeth on her like he had on Brazen, though he didn’t know it yet - but still. Still.
It wasn’t a good thing for a diplomat.
She’d sought distraction and found it in her childhood friend - this time she’d finally noticed the googly eyes he made at her, and actually, it felt quite nice. She could love him, she knew - and she had. Now, her already turbulent mind was being fueled with pregnancy hormones, and that would have to be the time that the dragon king snapped and burned their other territory.
She’d done what she could, and made home safely. Now, she was idle in the more southern meadows, keeping an eye on intruders from the platform on which she stood, hoping no-one would come to her.
Of course someone came, so she took the time to mask her emotions behind her pretty smile; then, she summoned the stone to carry her down, and walked up to the mare.
”It’s not the baby’s fault, you know.” she says instead of hello, when she hears the black mare mumble to herself.
Tiredness creeps up behind her eyes, but she ignores it and offers a weak smile. ”I should know.” she confesses. Perhaps they will find friendship between their current physical states, she hopes. She desperately needs a friend these days.
02-29-2020, 08:49 PM (This post was last modified: 02-29-2020, 08:56 PM by lilliana.)
When she had returned to Taiga, Lilliana had tried to resume her life as if nothing had changed.
Her home was quieter than it had been but once she had discovered that Ruth was safe and that her home was no different than she had left it, Lilli did what she always had - she buried her burdens and tried to ignore her dreams of burning and fire. There are ghosts in every corner of Taiga, ones that hide in the fog and some that hide in her mind, and the chestnut mare has found it far easier to come North.
Lilli manages to patrol the northern border of Taiga and she keeps to the southern part of Nerine, a compromise in her mind. The flames lessen and though her burdens don’t, there is a sense of camaraderie to be found in the mares who call Nerine their home - in Neverwhere and Brazen and Eurwen. Those ‘fairytales’ that Lilliana had been raised on of the Jungle and the Queens of old like Asylum and Prague are different from the open moorlands and the Queens that she has come to know of - Heartfire and Neverwhere.
Perhaps they are different because Lilliana never thought that her ties to an ancient kingdom would ever become so personal; one is about to become a blood tie through her children and the other is a dear friend. It is a far cry from the girl who had been tucked into her mother’s side and listened as she regaled her daughters about a kingdom where its women were impossibly fierce and proud, skilled fighters and dedicated to their bonds of home and hearth.
The woman that sleeps alone atop that soil imagines it is the resurrected bones of those legends; that there is some circle drawn somewhere that brings the child back to where those fables were born. Where her own children might be born.
(Not one but two, Kagerus had told her. Lilliana might come to Nerine in hopes of easing her mind but that number has planted itself very firmly in her mind regardless of where she goes.)
Her rounding form is not one she feels comfortable with. For each autumn day that passes, as these days grow shorter, she grows rounder and rounder with an inevitable truth that there will be children come spring. It terrifies her.
But when she smiles at Fiorina (once she can swallow the memory of their last encounter), there is no sign of that. Lilli smiles as carefree as she ever has, with a smile that tugs towards the clouds and a crisp blue sky. At the sight of an obviously pregnant Eurwen, it takes everything in Lilliana not to laugh. "@[Brazen] was just telling me the other day that Nerine will soon rival the walrus colony on the Isle.”
LILLIANA and its harder than you think telling dreams from one another
cold in the violence after the war hope is a fire to keep us warm
If she had been distracted of late, well, who could blame her? It seems everything in her life had chosen this particular moment to come spiraling together to crash in infamous glory. Ok, perhaps not this exact moment, but close enough. Either way, it all comes down to the same thing.
Life inevitably resumes.
As evidenced by the rapid growth of her friend’s belly. Which she’d, uh, tactfully mentioned, last time she’d seen her. She still wasn’t quite sure what to make of it, truth be told. Couldn’t really wrap her head around the thought of children. All of which told her at least one thing for certain - she is absolutely not ready to be a mother herself. Nevermind the fact that the reality of children had never once entered her head as a possibility until Lilli had turned up pregnant.
So, naturally, it would be her luck to stumble upon the small group of pregnant mares.
At first it’s not entirely obvious. She notices Lilli and Eurwen of course, her step quickening as a delighted smile immediately begins curling her lips. The third mare is unknown to her, and equally as strange looking as she herself. However, the fact that neither Eurwen nor Lilli seem particularly distressed by her presence sets her at ease.
She arrives just in time to hear Lilli’s wry comment, causing a flash of chagrin to cross her masked features. Though as she draws to a halt and begins noticing, er… details, she quickly understands what had inspired the comment.
“Wait, are you all pregnant??” she asks thoughtlessly, realizing only belatedly that could have probably been a bit more tactful. “Good gods, there must be something in the air.”
An appraising look follows the mare that descends nearby from a perch of earth. That’s a handy talent, surely, but instead of commenting on that, black eyes roll at the slight admonishment for Fiorina’s threat to her unborn child. Without a witty response, Fiorina does not reply at all - she’s not willing to be chased away before she finds out where she is, and she assumes that telling this soft mare she was absolutely serious and had no qualms about punishing an infant will not be taken well.
She finds a smile though, and it brightens a little further at the sight of a familiar face - Lilliana. It is good to see the chestnut mare alive and well, and without a tentacle wrapped around a single part of her. She grins wickedly at the comment about walruses though she finds it distressing to think that she will become as big as one, which is what she’s thinking about right now. She would have to waddle everywhere since the spines of her armour do not permit rolling.
The next mare to arrive is without the curse the other three mares share, Fio thinks, and sporting rather cool bone armour. Now that’s a look she can get behind! At the question confirming the state of the rest of them, Fio rolls her eyes again - though good naturedly. “I know, isn’t it disgusting?”
As soon as the word is out, she realizes it might be insulting to the others, so she looks over to Lilliana and the spotted one. “Not for you guys, I’m sure.” Fiorina attempts some grace, but she’s clearly not good at it as she gives a shrug of an armoured shoulder while attempting to not overly offend the other whale-sized horses in her company. “There’s every chance my little crotch goblin here is going to chew its way out of me so I’m less than thrilled about my current situation.”
She already knew it was going to be a violent birth, certainly something made of nightmares. Still, she keeps talking - another smile forming. “First part was fun though, right?” And here she winks at Lilliana and the first mare who arrived.
What a great first impression she was making.
“I’m Fiorina, by the way.” She mentions to the two mares she does not know before her black eyes slide to Lilliana. Her next question is one born of simple curiosity - though it’s stated bluntly, because Fiorina does not know how to speak without an edge to her voice. If only she had eye-brows so one could quirk up. “How’s our friend with the tentacles?” Tact, or the lack of it, was something she had in common with Brazen. No point in pretending otherwise.
the secret of walking on water is knowing where the rocks lie
The mare before her gives a weak smile upon her comment, and she notices it might have come off a little stern. But when others show up, Eurwen honestly could care a little less.
Oh, hormones. What fun you are. That’s not entirely fair, considering that her outburst to Ghaul had had nothing to do with it - she’d been so fed up with his arrogance though. Now, she finds herself welcoming a pregnant mare on the border, visiting her friend, Lilliana.
It’s her cousin then, who she turns to with a snort. ”Walruses are dangerous to approach, Brazen, especially in groups. One more comment about my roundings and I’ll show you why.” Her tone is irritated, but the words hold no true venom - she is relatively happy to meet the new mare, and as she turns back to her, the pink-spotted mare already has a small chuckle on her face. ”I’m Eurwen, but Wen is fine. You’ll have to forgive my cousin. I’m sure she’ll be absolutely thrilled to be an Auntie of… three?” she wonders aloud at the latter - Fio doesn't look half as swollen as Lilli and her. Is she blessed with some better abdomen muscles or are the two Nerinians in bigger trouble than she anticipated? She herself is a twin: the realization kicks in only now, and she starts to feel a little nauseous at the thought.
Her face falters only a tiny bit, and she looks to the chestnut mare when Fiorina asks her a question. ”Tentacles?” she asks the diplomat suspiciously, but with a persistent humor in her eyes. ”Of all the normal-looking boys out there, you went with tentacles, Lilli?”
03-06-2020, 10:30 PM (This post was last modified: 03-10-2020, 08:21 PM by lilliana.)
"Or the water,” Brazen’s friend comments dryly, "I’m convinced Nev poisoned the drinking supply.”
Lilliana is somber-faced for a moment before there is a gleam of white and the chestnut flashes a pretty smile, an obvious brightening of her copper features. Her humor is the best defense that she knows and its become a method of coping in the days and weeks since she has last seen Fiorina. The black mare rolls her eyes good-naturedly and a teasing glint shines behind her blue eyes.
"Stay in Nerine for a while and we can roll our way down to the beaches,” the Taigan laughs when she sees the dark mare look her way. There are some mares who are lovely in their fertility and then there is Lilliana: she assumes that she is about as lovely to look upon as the boulders that rest at the bottom of the Nerinian cliffs. She had already been a petite mare to begin and her current state is only made more obvious by that - throw in the addition of two foals and she knows she looks ridiculous.
The reference of a ‘crotch goblin’ barely stifles her laughter.
For a moment, she can forget the circumstances that brought Fiorina and herself together. She is content to enjoy the company of fellow expectant mothers (Lilliana has no one to tell how afraid she is, how nervous she can be and how often she wonders what is normal and what is not). Brazen, as always, is a steadying comfort and Lilliana glances to her affectionately, reaching out to brush her nose against one of her bony spikes.
It makes her grateful that she is looking away when Fiorina mentions the circumstances that brought about their pregnancies.
Instead, the chestnut returns to the conversation with a ready smile at Eurwen’s mention about how dangerous walruses can be and that their fellow Nerinian will be an aunt of three. Lilliana assumes that her spotted companion is carrying twins (unless the Northern mares carry foals differently from the rest of their Beqanna counterparts and more like waddling walruses mentioned earlier) and so she adds with a grin, "Four.”
Lilli glances back to Fio, waiting for what she will have to add. Her brow furrows before she asks, "Wolfba-?”
Oh. She can't swallow the name quick enough.
The Taigan finds her smile but it doesn’t quite reach her blue eyes (talking as politely about that incident as if the shapeshifter was merely a thunderstorm instead of a raging hurricane of chaos), "Nerine is, fortunately, a tentacle-free zone.”
Glancing to the side at spotted Eurwen, the Taigan Ambassador shifts her weight (uneasily). "It's, uh, a long story." And surely, she hopes, there are better things to talk of. Lilliana returns to what she knows and tries to turn the conversation to the only not-pregnant mare in the group with her familiar teasing, (and away from her, Gods, she wants it as far North as the Isle, off Beqanna's map), "The moral of it is, @[Brazen], don't drink the water in Nerine."
LILLIANA and its harder than you think telling dreams from one another
cold in the violence after the war hope is a fire to keep us warm
If the strange-looking black mare lacks tact, it’s certainly something Brazen could not comment on. Assuming, of course, that she noticed such a lack. Which, of course, she doesn’t. Instead her grin broadens with amusement at her wry response. She does at least know better than to agree, even if she does so silently.
Eurwen’s irritable response to her rather unfortunate sense of humor is met with a hastily stifled burst of laughter. Blue eyes bright with suppressed humor, before she can think better of it, she quips quickly, “A walrus would have to be able to outrun me to prove dangerous first.”
She doesn’t comment on the water though, instead only offering Lilli a skeptically amused side-eye. Of course, she’d never shared any of her, uh, watery shenanigans with her friend, so she could hardly expect her to know if the water were the culprit, Brazen would most certainly have joined her friend in her precarious state. But that’s a tale for another time.
When Fio introduces herself, Brazen straightens, returning her attention to the present. After Eurwen, the armored mare tosses her own introductions with a simple, “I’m Brazen.”
At this point, perhaps somewhat unfortunately for Brazen, the conversation takes a turn that leaves her scratching her head a bit. First, Eurwen mentions how thrilled she must be to be the future auntie of three. Gaze jumping to the spotted mare with surprise, she blinks a few times as she tries to wrap her head around that. Until Lilli corrects her.
“You’re having FOUR BABIES??” she half-shrieks in a strangled whisper to Eurwen, unable to contain her shock at the very thought. For a moment, even the mention of tentacles is lost on her. After all, what are tentacles in comparison to the possibility of Eurwen having to squeeze out four kids?
Lilli’s accidental slip does catch her ear however. For a moment, as her gaze shifts to her copper friend, she has to wonder how Wolfbane figures into all of this. At least, she can only assume that’s what Lilli had been saying. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how one looks at it) for all involved, it doesn’t take Brazen long to put the pieces together.
Of course, when she does, it takes a minute for her reign in the open shock that must be plastered heavily over her features. “Shit,” she finally blurts out, not sure what else to say. “Wolfbane? Really?” Abruptly she laughs, the sound a bit bewildered before it devolves into genuine mirth. “If Wolfbane’s the water you’re warning me about, I think I’m safe.”
SO GIVE ME HOPE IN THE DARKNESS THAT I WILL SEE THE LIGHT 'CAUSE OH THAT GAVE ME SUCH A FRIGHT
He’s not sure what he was thinking. Some memory, perhaps, of how miserably his mate had seemed when he carried the twins or perhaps a moment of disorientation when they had made love, but at some point along the way Brennen had agreed to carry his and Nihlus’ next child, and even as he has grown round and miserable he hasn’t been willing to go back on that promise. Magic could do a great many things, and he had considered not a few times popping their unborn daughter into some sort of magic uterus and leaving her tucked away someplace safe, but in the back of his mind he knows Nihlus would never let him live down being unable to carry one foal to birth when his mate had carried the twins.
So he lumbers on. Thankfully, he doesn’t really have to walk very far, or even fly very far; Brennen simply is on his island with Nihlus and the twins, and the next he’s back in Nerine with the vague feeling that he’s been neglecting something important. They had not summoned him, so in theory Nerine had been taking care of itself just fine, but since he had re-pledged himself to serve the Kingdom he supposes he should be around to serve it at least occasionally. Or at least, to help after he isn’t this way any more.
This way. Pregnant. It’s weird. He’s definitely not doing it again. Next time either Nihlus can carry the child again, or Brennen’s laying an egg of some sort.
There are voices not far from his teleport site, and the bay stallion meanders curiously in their direction (he refuses to admit that with the way late pregnancy sits on his slim arab frame, it’s more like waddling) with curious bright eyes. They’re talking about being pregnant, after all, so maybe it’s fair for him to join the party? He recognizes several of them, giving a friendly nod, but his eyes linger on the black stranger for a moment. Certainly not one he’s seen before, but in the end he offers her a friendly enough smile too, before turning a little smirk on Brazen. “Wolfbane certainly wasn’t the water I was drinking,” he drawls. “Not that he’s not interestingly handsome, but he’s a little young for me.”
Some would argue that Nihlus was young for him also, but then again most of Beqanna doesn’t know who Brennen’s current paramour is, and he doesn’t plan to enlighten them. Anonymity is a form of safety for his boy, in times like these. He considers another quip or pregnancy joke, but decides to err on the side of caution and await their response. There is a chance that they won’t be at all interested in a man in their current social circle, regardless of whether he’s as pregnant as they are.
BUT I WILL HOLD AS LONG AS YOU LIKE JUST PROMISE ME WE'LL BE ALRIGHT
