"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
10-03-2015, 07:12 PM (This post was last modified: 10-03-2015, 07:12 PM by Gallows.)
Namaah has found her feet, although she is only hours old. She is adventurous for a newborn, taking a step and then another step away from me before pelting backwards and into my side with all the grace of a toad. Each time I expect her to pull up before she barrels into my shoulder, but so far, she hasn't discovered the scientific law stating that no two objects can occupy the same place at one time.
I suppose that's a bit much to expect from a baby.
After a bit, the gray filly gives up her adventures and nurses. I wince at her eagerness and then sigh, plucking at the freshly grown clover.
I know I am not the best of mothers. I'm more likely to let a kid touch a hot stove so they'll learn than I am to helicopter parent, but I genuinely love this little one. Kushiel, too, if you must know. One can hardly help caring about the ridiculous little people who fall out of your vagina.
Kushiel will be around soon to meet his sister (a reunion I am unabashedly eager for) and soon enough Namaah will meet the other members of the Valley. Idiots, all of them, but affectionately so. After all, the Valley uses a wide variety of horses for her work. I should know.
G A L L O W S We must all hang together or, assuredly, we shall all hang separately.
all that we have amassed sits before us, shattered into ash
Perhaps it is because she is still too young, but Cress has never seen the appeal of children. To carry it for so long, knowing that her feminine figure would be changed forever… that in itself is unappealing. Plus the whole being responsible for another living creature thing… yikes. Cress hasn’t exactly been very responsible with her own life lately; she would probably be a terrible mother. She doesn’t want to think about having children for a long time yet. She just isn’t ready. There is so much responsibility riding on taking care of something she has birthed… gross. Even the thought makes her queasy.
Besides that, there is also the fact that she has no one to create a child with. Her list of eligible fathers isn’t exactly something she’s been working on, after all. There are two that she likes, even admires—Dalten and Demian—but she has made zero effort to further those feelings. Dalten is just a dear friends (she considers him so, at least) and Demian… he is her king. There is simply no point in lusting after one’s monarch, especially when she doesn’t even know if she can trust him. He may have denied saying that she was a failure, but the memory is still fresh in her mind. She may like him, but it is just a crush; she will get over it. There is no point in pursuing it when there is absolutely nothing to pursue.
He’s too busy to even think of reciprocating her feelings anyways.
Not that she would call them ‘feelings.’
It’s more annoying than anything.
So there is no one to provide her with a child, even if she wanted one. Perhaps she should have found love by now—most do, by her age—but she simply has not. She is too scarred (too scared) to love or be loved, but she doesn’t mind too terribly much. She has so much to give to the Valley that she does not need a mate or even a lover. She simply doesn’t have the time… or something like that. Does she feel lonely most days? Certainly, but she won’t give up her position to go and find herself a lover. The thoughts may haunt her, but she simply will not act upon them.
She is so lost in her thoughts that she hardly notices as others come into her line of vision. Her mind slowly drifts back to Demian (does he hate her?) and she trembles, radiating sadness as if it is an illness. She has done nothing wrong but she is still afraid, still terrified that the king she admires so much might really hate her. Eventually she looks up and her eyes fall on Gallows not too far away. “Have I been standing here long?” she murmurs, only half to herself. The mare has a child by her side, and Cress smiles at the already-greying, winged filly as she approaches the two. “Hi there, I’m Cress,” she tells the girl before glancing back up at Gallows. “It is cliché, but she is a beautiful little girl.”
The smile slowly fades from her face and when it is gone, Cress looks positively haunted. “I’m sorry if I intruded, I’ve just been so lost in my own head lately,” she tells Gallows, trying and failing to control the trembling running from her nose to her hind limbs. “Thank you for standing up for me… I couldn’t let them burn me again.”
10-10-2015, 06:01 PM (This post was last modified: 10-10-2015, 06:43 PM by Arise.)
She watches against the leaves, from between the trees, behind the branches. A black blot save for streaks of green in her hair, for venomous green eyes reflecting the firelight. Peeking out at something she expected she had not really wished to see. As much as she is disgusted, she is also intrigued. She is young and perhaps that is why she had never before given thought to just how interesting childbirth was. That this mare before her had carried and created life. That was a powerful thing.
With a herd full of males, Arise only reflected more positively on that fact. Sure they helped make them, she had learned of the birds and bees some time ago. That sort of thing happened when you were young and unattended, waltz right into everyone's personal business. They had deserved to be run off that time, they really had. She and Grice had promised to never speak of it again, it didn't keep her thoughts from the memory though. She had to swallow the bile that ran up her throat, once again shoving that recollection deep into the dusty corners of her brain.
Soon the little filly is up, scrambling about, knocking into her Dam over and over. Well, this was no fast learner it seemed, somehow she manages to suckle. That was an accomplishment. Arise had to try hard to fight her giggles, biting into her cheek to silence them. Both are curious creatures to her, wings spreading against their sides in full feather.
She starts, another mare unexpectedly enters the area, standing in thought for an awkward period of time. Perhaps she too had been both sick and mesmerized by the event of labor. A twig snaps beneath her clumsy legs, she had not quite mastered her ninja skills yet. Frozen, she does her best to barely breathe, because if you don't move they can not see you, right?
10-10-2015, 08:39 PM (This post was last modified: 10-10-2015, 08:40 PM by Gallows.)
“She is beautiful, although I haven't the slightest idea where she got that from.” I glance at Namaah who is looking up wide eyed and curious at Cress. Even at the filly's young age she is all delicate lines and curves, with bright dark eyes and a winning smile. Gods know she didn't get it from me. I'm not unappealing, I'm simply unremarkable, and perfectly all right with that. Body issues do not plague me now and never have. I wonder if that has something to do with never desiring a mate. There was only one who interested me, and even then I enjoyed our relationship far too much to fuck it up with, well, fucking. Despite being an unrepentant hedonist, carnal pleasures are not my thing.
Cress, though. I give her a gentle knowing look. She will find somene someday, no matter what her scarred heart tells her. She is simply too sweet and exactly the kind of mare someone will want to protect. (she'll have to kick his butt, of course, but men can't help it. Protecting is their instinct.)
A haunted look comes over the mare's face. I flinch mentally, her thoughts a beacon of despair. My heart burns with her pain and I think darkly that perhaps Carnage has gone too far. There are those willing to be marked by him. It is too much to take the unwilling and break them. I wonder what Cress would think if she knew my sweet daughter comes from such as him.
“Don't be silly, Cress.” I say brusquely. Empathy comes easier for me with mind reading, but it is not a feeling I am entirely comfortable with. I nudge her companionably. “You are a part of the Valley as surely as any of us. I will protect you as I would her. And between you and me, Demian doesn't think sometimes which can make him an idiot. It isn't his fault. He was born male.”
He's a decent king (more, if I'm being honest but I'm not and no one is reading my thoughts, so there) but his one flaw is that he isn't female. Sexist, you betcha.
A twig snaps nearby but I don't swivel my ears. My mind, however, snaps to attention.
“For what it's worth, he didn't intend to hurt you.” I add gently. She needn't doubt me. I have seen it in Demian's mind. He cares about this girl. "And no one will burn you as long as I am here."
Suddenly, I turn my head and sigh, exasperated.
"Okay, Arise. You might as well come out because I know you're there. Your thoughts are doing the equivalent of heavy breathing."
Tact? Well, let's just say I skipped that day of lessons.
G A L L O W S We must all hang together or, assuredly, we shall all hang separately.
