"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
Solace wakes with a start, drawn from her dreamscape by a shift in her body.
There is a feeling, as if the tide is changing within her, as if an unstoppable force has been set into motion.
Finally, it is time.
Solace can feel the foals shifting, grappling with each other to first see the world they had dreamed of. Despite the mid-night chill, there is a thin veil of perspiration on her brow, between her legs, and along her neck. She draws deep breaths of humid, spring air into her lungs, waiting as long as she can before waking Kagerus.
Solace watches her star-lit companion, soothed by the gentle rise-and-fall of her painted sides. A light rain drizzles outside of the grotto they have called home for the last few days, bringing her the scent of rich humus and wisteria blossoms. She wonders if Kagerus felt her withdrawal from their dream world - time was a strange thing there. But again, the foals shift - churning her insides and her abdomen contracts.
This wave of pain puts an end to her musing.
"Kagerus," she breathes, hot and urgent, afraid yet exhilarated. Solace swats her tail against her sides - a pointless gesture but it scratches some instinctual itch. She paces, but the discomfort follows her, and for the first time in years, she wishes her mother were here. "It's time. They are coming," she groans mindlessly, as if it wasn't clear what was happening here.
Solace sinks into the bed of supple boughs and catnip Kagerus had made for her, panting as the final stage of birth begins. Her tri-colored mane sticks to her straining neck, and the minutes stretch on, each impossibly longer than the last. But as the sky fades from midnight-blue to violet two small forms, shaky and damp, lie among the branches.
With a groan she shifts to better see them, the tangled forms of her children, and the pain is forgotten.
All is forgotten, except for the perfect colt and filly before her, and the warmth of her mate at her side.
05-21-2018, 03:43 PM (This post was last modified: 05-26-2018, 02:29 AM by Ilma.)
Ilma
And there's a lesson waiting to be learned the firestarters always get the burns and the good guys never get the girl
When Ilma wakes, Llowell wakes too - and she wonders what else could have startled her. Perhaps a bad dream - she doesn't have so many nightmares any longer, not with Svedka filling the holes in her mind or heart, but sometimes she still thinks back on last fall subconsciously, or she dreams that she does leave Llowell behind, or worse, that Arty comes to claim him and take him away, and she sees him later and he's just as bad as his father - never, she will never let that happen in real life, but sometimes the mind plagues from corners not looked into at daylight.
But now that she's awake, a midnight stroll is as good as anything. She leaves her baby in the shallow cavern that they've been sleeping in, figuring that if he wants to stay asleep he can, or otherwise may follow. She loves him but, to look at him is sometimes a challenge, and a few hours respite from caring for the baby will do her good.
As she's stepped out and walked a small distance towards the fresh air near the lake, mingled with the wisteria scents, she knows what woke her. The grunts, panting and soft cries of a mother in labour are unmistakable, and they echo softly in the still mountain night. The white mare, having only recently given birth herself, follows sound and scent - hesitates a little when she nears Solace and Kagerus' home. She's not exactly called for, or asked after for support - but she's the only one experienced, and somehow she manages to boldly step forward regardless of perhaps overstaying a welcome.
But as soon as she lays an eye upon the scene, she knows that Solace is doing well - she lies on a comfortable underground, and the white mare quickly steps back, to leave her queen alone - she doesn't need more attention, and so, the moon-lit pegasus takes a position just outside, content to wait. She's nearby should anything be needed, and that's enough for now.
and shooting stars cannot fix the world
Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this: men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.
and in my dreams, i kissed your lips a thousand times
Of course, I notice immediately when her pale figure rends itself from the dreamscape back to reality; as she awakens, I am left next to something hollow and imagined, but I hold her anyways. There in our silken bed, I lie with my nails in my teeth and my knees tucked to my aching stomach. Even though it's her hour, even though it's she who deserves the pain and the beauty of this moment - I cannot help but to feel sickeningly anxious.
I've watched a lover give birth before. I've watched as I failed to be enough for a child in the ways of motherhood. And I've heard the cries - I want to be strong enough to hear them again, but as my chest tightens and threatens to burst, I know that I am not.
Deep breath, says a voice that I don't recognize, light, airy, a part of myself that I've never met before. Think of her, for she is your strength. And she needs you - now.
Waking with a gasp, I'm immediately pressing my nose to Solace's swelled belly, feeling it harder than it's ever been before. A light rain falls just outside our grotto, making an earthy music in the mid night air. Murmuring words of encouragement and support, any selfish and vain thoughts I'd had in the dreamscape are absent now. My mind and heart knows only her - knows only my love for her.
The process is long, twice as long as I'd expected, though I ought to have. Strewn across the bed I'd carefully arranged for her over the past weeks building up to this exact moment, my beautiful queen struggles and moans for the pain and exertion of it all. Throughout the process, I never leave her side once, pressing my mouth to her jaw and reminding her that these five minutes of pain will produce a lifetime of happiness.
And when those five minutes pass, we lay in silence, the lives of our newborn children heralded by the steady song of the rain.
"Solace," I murmur with tears glistening in my eyes. "They're beautiful." I nuzzle her, overcome with emotion. "I love you so much," comes my choked words. Sniveling, I step back, allowing the exhausted mother to heave up, to reach out and begin grooming her children. For a moment, my certainty as to where I belong in this picture wavers, and I hesitate to touch the twins - but in the next breathe, remembrance of our unity and our understanding of the queerness of this family comes to me.
Stepping forward, I lower my nose to the colt's head, grooming him instinctively. His maleness reminds me of my own son, and for the first time as I remember Abysm, I am met with a warm, motherly feeling of tenderness, and not fear or revulsion.
"Hello, baby," I whisper. "I'm Kagerus, and I love you, too."
Solaces grooms their delicate faces, whispering to each a name, before looking with misty eyes to Kagerus. "Aren't they?" She agrees breathily, before again giving in to their magnetic pull for one more tender kiss.
Rocking back, Solace rises, filling the space Kagerus had made for her, and glowing under the confession of love. The young mother uses Kagerus' strong side to rest against for a moment as the blood rushes to her head, leaving her woozy. "Thank you for being here," she murmurs as she steadies herself, "I wouldn't have chosen anyone else."
She places kiss on her lover's shoulder, but that kiss quickly becomes an encouraging nudge as Solace notices a form of hesitation cross her companion's features. "They will be yours too, you know," Solace adds as she watches her, memories of the sweet dream the four of the had already shared flooding her, "they already are."
Steaming in the pre-dawn light, the colt is the first to rise. With a wobbly step forward he reaches out to the darker of the two forms, the one who had been tickling his sparse mane. He investigates, giving the squishy muzzle a boop with his own. Blinking, his head pulls back and a snort and a sneeze takes his legs out from under him. Gently, a female voice laughs, and he knows that it is Mother.
Wordless yet curious, the two foals glance around the cavern. Solace steps forward to once again press her side to Kagerus'. With her pink muzzle, she encourages the filly to rise, steadying her while she teeters. Following his sister's example, Clegane lurches to his feet again, taking a stumbling step towards the unicorn with a smile on his lips.
"Ilma?" Solace calls lightly towards the entrance of the grotto, she had scented Ilam earlier, and she hoped that the alabaster mare had lingered. "Would you like to meet Clegane and Valdis?"
The thoughts of her children's biological father do not cross her mind; she is full of happy thoughts. Certainly, she would try to find Castile in the coming summer days, he would have no lack of opportunities to bond with his children if that was his wish. But she does not worry about such things now.
Today, the children are sheltered by the three women who will contribute most to their young lives, and Solace is sure that she has everything she has ever dreamed of.
And there's a lesson waiting to be learned the firestarters always get the burns and the good guys never get the girl
Now and then, the sounds of labour, and of Kagerus soothing Solace while she does, reach her ears, and she looks up only to settle back into her grazing, relaxed stance again. Not that she is entirely relaxed knowing what is happening, but she is fine with keeping predators or other unwanted visitors out (you know, like a nosy brother, a former lover, things like that).
Speaking of which, her mind briefly wanders to Solace's gold-tinted brother. Perhaps he's on the move again, or simply hasn't noticed the sounds that are more familiar to the white mare than to him. Although she knows he's not shying away from it; he hadn't with her, after all.
Before long, she hears more voices, and Solace's call wakes her from yet another daydream. She frowns a little, why does her mind keep taking her to Svedka so often when other matters are at hand? She wonders. But right now, she will take a look at his niece and nephew, and speak to Solace once again - frankly it had been too long since they really spoke to one another, but she's here to make up for it.
She finds the cave entrance silently, and can't help but smile on the scene of Kagerus (slightly awkward but loving) and Solace (who is the embodiment of new motherhood, radiating that warmth and kindness) with the two foals. The white mare nickers softly, coming up to greet her friends. "They are so beautiful. Hello, darlings." Of course, children always are beautiful, but these are Solace's and, perhaps that makes them even prettier. She lowers her head to let them see her also, subconsciously not wanting the babies to know her as 'the white legs' until they've grown more (just like anyone in the room perhaps).
and shooting stars cannot fix the world
@[Kagerus]
Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this: men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.
and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
She's weak from birth, and yet stronger than any force I've yet to come across. As the warm wetness of her sweat-coated side presses into mine for support, I know in my heart that its truly her from whom support is being drawn. My mouth goes lovingly to her forelock, kissing it away from those eyes I fell so hard for not so long ago. She murmurs her thanks, murmurs her heart, murmurs her love - and I feel tears gathering like oceans to pool in rivers down my cheeks.
"I'll always be here my love," comes my reply, whispered and choked and so fucking happy."Don't ever think otherwise.
The mood lightens some as her lips go to my shoulder, eventually nudging me towards the two beings she has so miraculously brought forth. A pang of panic goes through me upon remembering that I'll never do the same, that I'll never be a mother in truth, that I am barely even a woman in comparison to the angel who's struggle I have just witnessed. But her soothing voice telling me that they're mine, too, steadies me and banishes the darkness that often threatens to overcome me. Exhaling shakily, I turn my eyes wordlessly to her, nodding as I wholeheartedly try to absorb her words into my own philosophy.
Our children.
As I turn to groom the colt, speaking to him lovingly, he is already rising. On stick-thin legs he wobbles his way towards me, reminding me painfully of how I'd missed Abysm's first steps; but as he teeters dangerously, I reach out to catch him, and that act alone seems to reconcile the demons within me. I made mistakes then, but there's so much I can do now. As his little nose squish against mine wetly, I realize that there's a whole life in front of me to be shaped and molded - two whole lives, I correct myself.
Solace comes alongside me, encouraging her daughter to stand. With a gentle pressure, I pull the newly standing Clegane into my chest (chuckling at the adorableness of his whole-body sneeze), holding him as I once did Khaedrik. He smells so freshly of the womb that I can't help the snort that must tickle his baby skin as I run my mouth along him; he's just too perfect. I wouldn't change anything about him; about either of them.
The scent of Ilma becomes more apparent as she enters the grotto, wet from the rain but seemingly unhindered by its presence. We do live in the mountains after all, and rain is a normal part of that. Looking up at her as she enters from where I am curled against the colt, I smile at her almost dreamily... How wonderful, for the three women role models of Hyaline to be present at the birth of the prince and princess. A soft nicker warbles from my lips at the thought, the warmth in my eyes undeniable and radiant. She comments on their beauty, and I can only agree.
"Let this moment be one we remember," I whisper, memorizing the whiteness of Ilma against the darkness of the cage, the way Clegane smells, and how beautiful Solace is with her daughter held so close. My voice reaches for each of their hearts, hoping to put a peace there that will carry them to sleep as night continues to fall, serenaded by the pit-patter of rain. "Let this be a moment of family."
@[Solace] @[Ilma] I'm calling this a 'closer' but I also left it slightly open ended if you want to go another round The twins are quite aged now haha so I figured a wrap up was about due! Sorry for the wait!
![[Image: kag]](https://78.media.tumblr.com/2e8039018ce4dff6112c167ec23e886a/tumblr_p72zjit7wC1s5a0qvo1_100.png)
The twins are quite aged now haha so I figured a wrap up was about due! Sorry for the wait!