"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
05-17-2017, 04:31 PM (This post was last modified: 06-17-2017, 11:14 AM by Ruan.)
A gift. She was such a precious gift. Tiny and shimmering, she was like glass, catching the sun in the most enchanting way as she played nearby. Her little gems of ice were secured and neatly embedded in each little nick and divot across her otherwise smooth surface, sparkling like diamonds. A treasure.
He'd found her in the forest. Abandoned and so very little. It wasn't the first time he'd adopted. He'd given a number of children a loving mother and father before her. But she was the first that would only receive a father. Only a father. Only him. There was no mother to offer now.
He lay in a patch of light, the sun warming his purple-spotted side -as much as was possible in his current, icy condition- as he watched her play not too far off. A thin bed of frost helplessly blanketed the ground around him. His magic was still free, still wild, still barely contained as it chilled the air with a cold snap. He didn't look back so much anymore, to a time when it was trapped safely within him. Nothing seemed to capture it anymore, hold it inside him where it belonged, and he'd stopped fighting it. He'd let it go.
Now, he fed it. He'd rarely ever used his magic before, and only as a last resort to protect the ones he loved. But now, today, he pushed it out, tried to exhaust it. Tested the limits. It seemed to have no end.
It swirled around her in a breath, spanning the distance between them effortlessly and drawing up a glittering little crown, a glimmering little veil down her back. He smiled softly. Every little girl wished to be a princess, and today she would be. The earth at her feet stayed dry and solid, easy for her glassy hooves to catch on so she wouldn't slip, but at her sides and around her, in a wide span, pillars of ice slowly grew from the ground. They arched up and over her extravagantly, lacing and twisting in intricate detail where the sunlight overhead would shatter across it all and light up like a house of mirrors.
Her very own, child-sized palace.
She was the youngest, his only young one, and didn't have siblings her age, didn't have friends when her father was so busy with duties. Today, though, he'd made sure to get away just for a while. He couldn't give her a friend, but he could give her this. A young girl needs to play in the sun, not wither away beneath the shadows of the forest. This place was new, was still forested. So it was enough like home to be comfortable and safe, but new enough to be an adventure for her.
He remained on the ground, the river running gently at his back with a whispering trickle unlike the other roaring parts of it, and he soaked in her happiness, let it warm him like nothing else could anymore.
Perhaps not a mother, but she could be a very loving and doting sister. At one point she would’ve disliked it. She could be terrible jealous and not too welcoming to others. With her mother gone she only had her father left. Though Iasan and Terra had disappeared, other children had found their way to the Taiga. This girl with Ruan was one of those. The other Enfys.
Jinju had loved and cared for her little sister right from the moment they had ran into each other. And as long as Enfys would allow her and need her, Jinju gladly was the doting and caring sister. Now she knew she could be that to this other child too, but to be able to do that, she would first have to meet her. They had seen each other before, but that moment had centered all around Enfys, as she had just brought Ruan and Reagan’s youngest child home.
Now it was time to meet this other little girl. She watched a little from the distance. Ruan lied on his side, stretched out but still keeping an eye out for the child. Except for the time of their battle, when fire had met ice, she had never seen him use his powers. Let alone this extravagantly. A small smile curls the corners of her lips, it was nice to see, even though the motivation behind it was a little off.
She leaves the shelter of the trees, silently – as wolf – making her way down towards the riverside. ”Hey dad” she murmurs softly, treading on the snowy ground without it bothering her. The cold never did, she barely felt it. Jinju reaches down to nuzzle his shoulder, a smile on her lips. ”I would almost think you picked a favorite” she teases him, ruby eyes on his blue one. She knows she would always be his little fire girl. The first, but surely not the last.
As she stands beside him, she enjoys the sun warming her back. Not that she needed it to warm herself, her fire was perfectly able to just do that, but that didn’t mean she did not appreciate it. Her sides show a slight bump, the first signs of her developing pregnancy. Thus far it hadn’t held her back, aside from an occasional outburst in the Taiga. ”I came to meet her, would you introduce us?” she asks, her ruby gaze now back to the little ice castle and the girl that played the princess of today.
She did not mind how busy he kept, that his role as protector of the Taiga often drew him away from her, required his attention elsewhere in matters of diplomacy and politics. He was made for this, whether he knew it or not, whether he still believed it or not, made for the task of protecting those who could not protect themselves – just as he had found and collected her, kept her safe and loved when no one else would.
But today he had woken her gently from where she slept nestled in the crook of his belly, just a gentle tap to her shoulders before rising and leaving their den. She knew what this meant, and a gleaming smile had pulled quietly at the corners of that glossy teal mouth as she had bound after him on chiming, spindly legs. He only woke her on the days they spent together. On the days he was gone, he would slip out while she slept and try to return before she woke.
She expects him to take her east to the forest or its neighboring meadow, two of the neutral places they occasionally visited. She liked the meadow for its wide open skies, for the strength of the wind as it raced unopposed through a vast, treeless landscape. It was different than home, different than the thick forest and dense trees, and somehow that made it exciting. But for as much as she loved the meadow, the nearby forest had a way of dampening her mood, a quiet reminder that although she was good enough for Ruan and his family, she had not been that way for someone else. She didn't want daddy to know though, not when he tried so hard to make sure she knew she was loved.
But instead of following the well worn trails at the eastern edge of the Taiga, he leads her north, north, until they reach the curve of a whispering river. Almost immediately she bounds ahead of him, graceful and delicate, nearly avian in her brittleness as she follows the current for quite a ways (never out of his sight) and then returns to find him nestled in spot of sun and frost. She moves quickly to his side, brushes her lips across his neck and under his mane, nibbles at the hair with a happy hum of pleasure and then moves off again.
At once the air around her grew chilled – not enough to make her shiver though, she wasn’t even sure she was capable of that – and a small gleaming crown appeared in a ring around her ears, a lace-like veil of sparkling white spilling across her back. At her side grew wide pillars, thick like tree trunks but translucent like her, cut through with whorls of white and trapped rainbows. She smiled when she saw the nearest ones reflecting the softness of her glowing teal.
She is lost to the world in an instant, those pale amber eyes soft and dreamy as they traced the hazy outline of her reflection in the ice. Just barely, she could make out the pocks and cracks, the chips in her skin where he had made her beautiful with pieces of himself, of his ice, embedding them like glittering diamonds in the teal. It had been a long time since she had wondered at the scars, at her flaws, wondered if they somehow made her less or ugly. Daddy didn’t give her any time to dwell on it, didn’t give her any reason to doubt herself. He loved her too much, made sure she saw beauty before she saw anything else.
She turns carefully, avoiding bumping any part of her delicate glass body against the structure of gleaming ice, and returns to the arch of the doorway. She is surprised to see that daddy isn’t alone anymore, frowns worriedly until she notices his body language is still soft and unconcerned, pleased maybe, but it is harder to tell from so far away.
Slipping forward with a sound like a jar full of bells, she fills the small archway, watching them quietly with a puzzled tilt of that still-crowned delicate teal head. It is only when the mare turns and Polaris can see her face, see those eyes like living coals, that she softens again and inches closer. Jinju. She knew Jinju. Or at least she kind of knew Jinju, had met her once very briefly that time daddy had gotten so upset. She frowns for a fleeting second, remembering how Ruan had been so stiff and strange beside her, how deep a contrast it had been to the man who had rolled on his back to greet her. But the frown fades as soon as it comes, and she inches forward again, now fully outside the ice castle daddy had made for her.
Daddy loved Jinju, she could tell from how fondly he spoke of her, from the way he watched her even now. Sister, he had told Polaris one evening when she wondered quietly at all the faces in the forest. He had said it with a kind of softness that her heart seemed to remember as she looked quietly on at them. "Sister." She echoes from so far away, so quiet, barely a whisper, barely an exhale. The flutter of wings on a moth would have been louder.
though i never needed any proof to trust the heart that beats inside of you
06-01-2017, 11:46 PM (This post was last modified: 06-02-2017, 12:09 AM by Ruan.)
He could see her pleased surprise at his temporary gift for her from the comfortable way she stood and the soft look of her face as she studied her reflection in the tapestry of ice. A faint smile tried to pull at his lips, his bright eyes warming with affection. He’d always been considered the Heart of the Taiga, filling it with his endless love as his wife did what she was more experienced in and dealt with the politics. Ex-wife, he reminded himself for what must be the millionth time.
Now, he was barely a shell of his former self.
His heart, his skin, his body were cold. Smiles forced.
And alone. God, so alone.
”Hey, dad,” he heard, already turning to his daughter of fire, his smile growing just the slightest. No, not alone. These two of his daughters had steadied him far more than they probably realized. He needed them far more than they realized. ”I would almost think you picked a favorite,” Jinju teased, briefly pressing her nose into his shoulder. He smiled up at her with a soft chuckle as she pulled back, silently noting the familiar signs of her growing pregnancy. It sent a pang through his heart, but he didn’t let it reach his face.
”I came to meet her, would you introduce us?”
He nodded and followed her gaze to the miniature castle his magic had made for Polaris to play in for the day. She was already there in the carved archway, soft recognition clear in her glassy face. A small frown briefly tightened her expression, before it was gone and she was moving carefully, tinkling forward. He wondered at what had put it there, but his concern was as brief as that flicker of uncertainty. They lived in the moment as best they could. She was content just now, so he was content just now. She paused, though, still a great distance away.
”Do you remember when you were that little,” he asked Jinju, keeping his eyes on the teal, glass princess --a title only for the day, as he was not a king. ”The world had done so much to lose your trust. Had taken so much from you at such a young age.” He had a purpose for bringing it up, for reminding her. It wasn’t a walk down memory lane, though he took many -countless- of those silently in his own time. ”Everything, anything, could be another disappointment to you, could break your heart again.”
She’d been timid and uncertain, mistrusting and afraid of more loss. She’d seemed most comforted under the shelter of his wing and in his steady presence until the world around her had earned her trust for the time being and she would venture out, slowly building up her confidence again over time and practice. Through experience. Until now, here, she was this strong young woman. Fiercely loyal, and protective of those she cared for. Formidable and powerful, dangerous if she so chose to be.
It was much the same for Polaris. She, too, had been abandoned. Had known loss and disappointment at such an early age when there should only be happy memories and smiling faces. He didn’t say it aloud though, knowing Jinju would see where he was going with it. Jinju would understand her little sister’s caution, hesitation. Polaris, like baby Jinju, perhaps couldn’t trust the world yet, hadn’t been given reason to. She only trusted Ruan. She loved her older sister, because he loved her.
"Lay with me and she'll come to you when she's ready," he offered quietly, turning his smile from Polaris to Jinju. "How have you been? How are you feeling?"Setting anymore forest fires, he didn't ask, but the mirth was lighting his eyes regardless.
As her gaze drifts towards the ice castle, she notices to her surprise that the girl had stepped out and wat watching them – or her? – intently. Jinju’s ears perk forward as she drops her head a little to the ground, but that didn’t make her look any smaller. It’s Ruan’s voice that makes her twist her nearest ear in his direction, but she does not reply right away.
It was his way of warning her. Not in a bad, angry way, but concerned like he always was for her well-being. Not words to brush away without a second thought. ”I remember” she eventually softly replies, her gaze still in the distance on her youngest sibling. She did remember. The hurt is still ever present. But what was Ruan exactly weary off? Was it Terran, as the father of her child, or did he just tell her to be ready to accept the loss of another mother? Jinju lightly shook her dark head, refusing to accept either of those thoughts.
She does not question her father as he tells her to lie down, Jinju does so and the little snow under her feet melts right away. Unlike Ruan she does not lie flat, head still up in the air as her legs fold underneath her body. Without any remorse she leans over to nudge his shoulder, as to tell him to stop making fun of her. ”I’ve been okay, I guess. Physically feeling completely fine” she answers in honesty, her ruby gaze coming to rest on Ruan’s for a moment.
Perhaps that would make it easier for the girl to approach them too.
She makes no effort to join them, is content to stand quietly on her own and observe them from what feels like a safe distance. It isn’t that she is afraid of them, of the man who had become her father, of the woman he had in turn made her sister - it’s that she is so used to Ruan’s use of body language, of physical conversation. There is some wariness, yes, and it deepens when her eyes land on Jinju, but it is not because she thinks the woman to be dangerous in some way, it is because she is unsure how to communicate with her, unsure of what a stranger would expect from her. Would she want words? Or was she like daddy, content with touch and indistinct sound, the curve of a smile and the flash of quiet eyes.
The hum of their voices sounds like a murmur from so far away, and it draws her closer until she has halved the distance between them and paused again. Her head tilts gently to one side, those liquid amber eyes soft and uncertain in the teal of her translucent face. But then both pairs of eyes turn from her, and the black mare settles to the ground gracefully beside Ruan, relieving some of the pressure. She reads the ease in their smiles, in the lack of furrows in their cheeks and across their brows, in the soft way their ears flick idly from the tangles of equally unruly manes.
It is enough to coax her forward again, to draw her first to Ruan with the soft chiming of her glass legs where she pauses near his head to touch her mouth to his face and his forelock, tugging his attention to her even as her own amber eyes fall shyly on Jinju’s face. “Hi,” she says to this sister-woman, shocked by her own bashfulness as she struggles to know what to say, “you’re Jinju.” But then the teal glass girl frowns in concentration because, no, that didn’t seem quite right. She was though, this was Jinju, she wasn’t wrong. Except - oh. She blushed (invisible in the teal of her cheeks and with no heat to mark its passing) she was supposed to let others introduce themselves probably.
She thrusts her nose beneath Ruan’s jaw to lift his head so she can fold up beneath it and against his chest, needing the weight of his neck across her withers to still the uncertain flurry of wings thrumming in her belly. Her legs crumple beneath her, none too silently as glass found glass and clinked together like old pottery. When her eyes left again to seek out Jinju’s face, they are so soft and so molten with uncertainty that she can hardly stand to hold that gem-bright ruby gaze. “I am Polaris.”
though i never needed any proof to trust the heart that beats inside of you
Jinju lowered to his side and nudged him, lightly scolding him for his quiet teasing. Her hormones kept setting their Taiga on fire, and while it certainly kept him busy following in her wake to remedy the outbreaks, he still found it just a bit funny. So he grinned wide like a boy, his eyes lit with silent laughter, and gave her a sweet nuzzle back at her neck, kissing gently at her in quiet apology for teasing her. It really was so amusing, though.
Ah, and there was their little darling glass girl. Her mouth touched to his face and hair, and he stretched even closer, lipping at the line of her throat as she said "Hi" to her eldest sister. "You're Jinju," she stated, then seemed to reflect on that in a shuffle of uncertainty.
He reached more for her, snatching her up playfully with a leg over her hip even as she ducked under his neck with a jingling fold of her little legs. He tucked her in tighter against his cold chest, rubbing his cheek along her neck with a bob of his head, so gently roughing with her like a wolf might. And who would fault him if it doubled as coating her with his scent. His. His girls, they were his. Maybe it was a loving reward for being so brave, coming over to them though her little heart had felt so wary.
"Jinju would love to know you better, little star," he murmured to her, his dark hair draped over her little crest from his play. "She would take care of you and protect you as I would, if you let her."
He lifted his head, setting a kiss to the top of her head before leaning to Jinju. With tender little plucks of his teeth, he kneaded into her shoulder. "I couldn't have done this without you, Jinju. We've been through so much together. Help me keep her safe from the heartache we've had to endure." Even those closest to them could break them more than they ever thought possible. Polaris would need her just as much as he needed them both. His family was his heart and soul, and lately, that meant he and Jinju. Only he and Jinju.
She allows him to nuzzle her, playing along and pretending to accepting his apology. There was nothing to apologize for in the first place. Well, perhaps she could, for setting the Taiga on fire more than once, but honestly, she would be lying if she would apology for that. Though her attention stayed with Ruan, it was impossible to miss the sound of tingling glass when the girl moved. It was a pleasant sound, soothing even.
With a small smile she watches. Their touches are full of affection, even though the girl’s gaze is on her instead. Jinju doesn’t move, not speak up, allowing the girl to study her without spooking her too much, or at least, that was what she hoped to accomplish. ”Hello” she greets back softly, a smile curling up the corners of her lips.
How could she not like the girl? She was adorable, so pure and honest. And her father seemed to be pretty fond of her too. Jinju had forced herself to not laugh, afraid that the glass princess would wrongly interpret her. So instead she allows Ruan to comfort her before speaking up. ”That’s right, I’m Jinju. I’m very happy to meet you, Polaris.” Slowly she reaches out, extending and curving her neck, but never touching. She left room for Polaris to decide if she would accept the touch, the nuzzle to happen. No harm done if she wouldn’t, they had all the time of the world to get to know each other better.
She does stay silent as Ruan addresses the glass girl, but she doesn’t look away. It’s not like she’s intruding on their moment, because she’s part of it too. And it’s so endearing to see. Her father was finally doing that what he did best. He had so much love to share too.
Her eyes flutter closed and she gladly leans in. For a moment she felt like his little girl again, though he knew deep down that she would always be. ”I will dad” she promises softly, only then opening her ruby eyes again to look at Polaris with a smile. Then her gaze sways to meet Ruan’s blue one and she reaches out to brush her lips across his cheek. ”I couldn’t have done it without you too, dad.” Jinju wouldn’t have to say she loved him. He knew, she knew, and that was what mattered. He might not be her sire, but he was her father.
Offering him one last smile Jinju’s eyes travel back to Polaris’. For a moment she just watches, then she lowers her head, hoping this would be less threatening. She wishes she was just as good with children as Ruan was, wanted to be confident in communicating with her youngest sister. ”I’ve seen dad building a nice ice castle for you, would you like to see what I can do?” she asks softly, once again leaving it up to Polaris to decide.
The heat that radiated from her skin was so different from Ruan’s cold. Jinju had long ago grown to not be bothered by him, his colder touch. Like fire and ice. She just hoped that Polaris would soon get used to it too, that she hadn’t grown too used to Ruan’s coldness. Because Jinju had lot of love and warmth to share.
