"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
a certain type of silence has filled my voice I scream beneath the water and make no noise
To some extent she had known she was a mother - Svedka had shared his memories of a black, winged filly and a grulla colt, and she had the memory of a perlino with her own sunshine wings - and the strange visions of another daughter, alternating between palomino and more white-ish, always with blue accents - but to see one of them before her had still been quite a shock.
The memory is fresher than any of the ones she has of her previous life, and the white mare flashes her eyes towards the hill he had ascended with a smile. He’d run uphill with a loud whinny, enthusiasm in his voice when he called out for her. “Mom!” he’d called her and honestly there was no denying it. He showed more color in his mane and points than she, and the fact was that he was male and much younger. Otherwise, he could have been her mirror image. Even in her wide-eyed shock she had recognised this, and Toivo had slowed and bumped her nose instead of chocked her into an embrace. Though initially she had been surprised to see him in the flesh, her child had more of her than she could have dreamed, and the boy had shown surprising tact for his age. She remembers the peace she felt in his presence, which he had later explained when they slowly walked and talked through the Tephran jungle. He visited her every other day since - days when he didn’t, the moon-and-sunlight mare found herself to the other male company who had been this patient with her - her sun and sky friend. Boyfriend, as Toivo said, seems inappropriate for his way of living. That felt like a claim she wouldn’t want to tie him down with if she could.
The third day they met up, they ended with the waterfall. Already, her son - son! she still hadn’t been used to the idea of having fully grown children and now, expecting another (though she had not told anyone yet at the time) she didn’t remember anything about her previous pregnancies - he’d told her that it was healing water, though he had immediately followed up with his insecurity about it’s ability with mental issues. Ilma nodded as they watched the water thunder into the pool, but then she shrugged. ”We’ll never know until we try.” she said to him, and waded in the much colder water than the hot pool she and Svedka had dallied in.
Nothing had happened that she knew, which on one hand had actually been a relief. Toivo had told her about the peace induction, too, and the possibility of having a self-healing trait. She hadn’t yet had the heart to try scraping herself on purpose, especially not when she had her little secret to carry, and besides a daily soak in the waters just to see if anything would help, would negate any sort of results from that test.
She still has no idea how to actually use that peace-inducing magic however; or how to heal. She had slowly stopped coming to the waterfall, at least not daily, because she found that it hadn’t worked for her. Not, at any rate, that she knew. Perhaps if it did work, it worked much more slowly, but she had made peace with her not knowing. Like she once told Svedka, it was a future she wanted. She had other, silly little worries though - Toivo had just recently dropped the mention of a lovely female, and she wondered how soon she would be a grandmother - a strange thought she was going to have to deal with, what with her new child growing.
She knew that very soon her growing belly would be noticeable at first glance, not the second. But her sunlight-carrying son has had no eye for such things to this date, young as he is, and for now it seems that he was too full of a girl named Oectra to actually notice anything at all about his silly old mom. He’d talked mostly of her, on their latest get-togethers. She smiles when he is about to compare the blue of the waterfall to her eyes again, and bumps his shoulder with her nose. ”So when are we going to meet her?”
The perlino jerks his head, his cheeks coloring nicely with his red-tinted mane. They’d walked to the waterfall as it is their usual goal, though Ilma had not felt like swimming again today. The white mare dips her forelegs into the water and lowers her head to take a long sip, giving the young adult time to get himself together. She feels the contentment of his peace manipulation as he uses it apparently on himself, and lifts her head again to snort. ”Little cheater.” she calls him, but she chuckles and doesn’t honestly mind. As far as she knows she had left him in Tephra because that had seemed a better option for him, and look how he turned out. It still amazes her sometimes that she apparently had been such a busy woman - now, she has no such urges to leave the safety and comfort of home at all. Kagerus had called her ambassador however - so perhaps one day she would feel the urge to go out more and make or mend relationships with other lands. Instead, she just offered Toivo what she knew of the subject - which was a surprising lot for one who had no active memory, just random information stored. Or perhaps it was just a part of her to have some sort of insight, and maybe that’s what had made it a fitting job for her.
Ilma wades a little further into the water, her slightly round belly now touching the surface where any other time it would not yet have. She should tell Svedka soon - but she turns to her son as he stutters to explain that the painted young mare lives in Taiga. ”Well, don’t let me keep you then.” she tilts her head at her -apparently youngest- son. ”I’ll be around, you know.” If anything, this self-healing he had mentioned, could very well be the reason of her memory loss - perhaps some sort of trauma had healed badly - but she never mentioned this idea, knowing the complications. But right now she means Tephra - she certainly doesn’t plan on going anywhere at all.
will you let me follow you, wherever you go… bring me home?
Long-*** intro but here we are. Sort of up to date xD
@[Svedka]
Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this: men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.
The waterfall had been new to Svedka; it was something that hadn’t existed the last time he lived here. He had visited quite often, enjoying the magical thrum of its falling waters. Part of him wanted to wade in its healing properties, wondering if it would be a cleansing balm to the silent beast that prowls just beneath the surface of his champagne and ivory skin. His cerulean gaze would stare into the misted waterfall for hours, mesmerized and at the same time hopeful. It is incredibly unlike him but he has become hesitant in bathing in its power, for fear that his condition is not one that could be altered, even by magic itself.
When he finds Ilma he is just damp from an afternoon romp in the sea, enjoying the less humid weather that only comes when it is winter in Tephra. His long and tangled flaxen tendrils are pressed firmly against his neck and face, stuck there and crisp with salt as they dried. She is as pale and perfect as a winter moonrise when she comes into his view, and he easily trots through the thick foliage of the scrub that surrounds the inland portion of his home towards her, catching the very last of her conversation to her son.
“Ilma,” he greets her, his voice pleased and sultry on the unusually dry air. The sky is clear and crystal blue, the only marring of its expanse being the gulls and seaside hawks that are dark against an otherwise wind-scrubbed sky. He snorts gently as he draws himself alongside the bank, hesitating just where the water meets the gently sloping shoreline, a warm and lazy smile on his pink lips. His muscular legs are speckled with black sand that clings to him desperately from his swim in the ocean, dark and noticeable against his light skin.
His gaze, after lingering on Ilma for a fond amount of time, gently pulls to the younger stallion beside her, who seems to be leaving. Svedka’s head bobs to him in greeting, tipping his chin slightly in a welcoming nod. He had met her children in years past, but had barely recognized the full grown stallion that stands beside Ilma. She had to reintroduce them upon their arrival in Tephra. Even when he had been met with the uncertainty of the stallion’s identity, there is ease and warmth on his handsome face. “Toivo,” comes his fluid voice, “it’s good to see you again.”Taking care of her when I’m not here.
“Don’t worry,” he continues, mischief dancing in his eyes as he peers at Ilma with a sideways glance, “I’ll keep her busy.”
a certain type of silence has filled my voice I scream beneath the water and make no noise
Toivo honestly has other things on his mind; so when the palomino overo arrives, the young perlino hardly notices. He has the smell of Tephra, after all - smells of home, of the beach and ashes, so why would he notice it as an anomaly? Besides - besides, his mother smells often of the stallion. Not that he blames her, but he's around so much, the pale male honestly doesn't mind him any more.
Not that he means he doesn't like Svedka, too - far from that. But Toivo just happens to prefer that kind of blue in the eyes of a certain girl, his own age. So it is that he smiles politely at the gold-and-cream marked male, his mind already in Taiga, and only kisses his mother's cheek quickly as a goodbye. "See you," he says, adding a small grin to Svedka in the process, and then disappears.
The white mare herself, honestly, doesn't really mind either - though she is somehow wise enough to give the male a look that should be recognized as disapproval, even if her eyes are smiling. He couldn't say anything, really, that would have her disapprove of his coming closer, coming to see her, but now and then it seemed he couldn't even keep up the appearance of gentleman-like behaviour, and for that, he received, well... looks. The Look, in fact, or so Toivo would tell her.
She breaks the moment with a small tug on his ear. "I see you swam without me today." She tells him with a small nibble on his skin, breaking one of the salty patches that have accumulated. Her tone is light-hearted though; she honestly had done the same thing, only with the waterfall pool. Never mind that, then, she thinks, instead finding his eyes for a moment longer. Suddenly she wonders if he'd lose this - this childlike behaviour - but then she pushes the thought aside. Nothing would change him; or at least so she hopes. She wouldn't want to weigh his spirit down with the responsibility that's growing upon - inside - of her, not ever.
In fact, it wouldn't surprise her if he wouldn't at all times be here - how long before he would take another 'long way home', she wonders. Would Tephra - would she still be home? Honestly, she doesn't dare hope; instead, she lets her worries be what they are when she cleans some salt of his withers, then rests her head upon his warm body with a smile. There is no room for such thoughts right now, or shouldn't be, and she'd best let them go.
Come what may, they were going to be a family, and that's all that mattered.
will you let me follow you, wherever you go… bring me home?
@[Svedka]
Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this: men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.
His blue gaze sparkles with delight as Ilma throws him what is meant to be a disapproving look. He easily sees the twinkle of laughter within her amber gaze and grins lazily, flicking his tail against his cream and gold flank at the same moment he strides closer to her. Her mouth finds his ear and he is pleasantly surprised at the sharp tug she gives him, though it does nothing to marr the charming smile off his face. If anything, he is even more bold than he had been moments before with her son in their presence. She works delicately to soften the parts of him that have dried from the salt, rolling his skin beneath her touch and enjoying the warmth of her lips on him.
“It’s early,” he admits with a soft fluttering of his eyelashes, feeling sleepy from his swim and the burning warmth of the sun against his back and her gentle grooming. “We can still take a romp together if you’d like.” His reply comes heavily and perhaps there is the tiniest peal of a growl - a deep rumble in his throat that can easily be mistaken for a man’s voice of desire - as he brings her even closer to him with a powerful, sweeping step. Svedka takes his neck around hers, nibbling sweetly at her pale withers, allowing a press of his lips to her skin in a kiss in between his grooming.
A contented sigh leaves him, chuffing gently as he feels her head rest so easily on the tawny and white of his broad back. He continues to groom her, purposeful and quiet, being sure to lift his mouth from her skin only to kiss her shoulders and neck before returning to her withers. “How have you been?” His voice is even and hushed, genuine as it is whispered into her coat. The sound of cicadas trill all around them, buzzing and humming in a rhythm that soothes him all the more.
a certain type of silence has filled my voice I scream beneath the water and make no noise
The hum of his voice coincides and resonates with the sound of insects in the background, the softness of his touches sending tingles down her skin being alleviated by the soft touch of the water on her legs. It’s only when he moves a leg to reposition - no doubt to continue their grooming - that a tiny ripple makes it to the underside of her belly, and she is reminded of what she was going to say anyway. Her head twitches sideways a little, and his preposterous suggestions go a little unanswered - in a way. ”About that,” she starts, then shuts up for a moment as he continues his caresses. There is time - but he should know.
She cannot lengthen the pause too much though - just long enough for him to hopefully start realizing he should pay attention, just about long enough for her to recollect the words she wants to use. Her heartbeat quickens, not just from his touch, and she decides on a deep breath, first. ”Svedka, we’re going to be a family.” she says it quickly and in one breath, like ripping off a band-aid. Not at all because she doesn’t fancy the idea - it had been a certainty at some point, even before she felt her body change; though she cannot remember what told her that she knew. But it’s those thoughts, these things that she knew earlier - that he’s a free and wild spirit, and that this might change him in some way - she doesn’t want him to be any other way, because it’s that kind of freedom that she fell for in the first place.
Amber eyes try to match the blue on his face, hoping to catch the first glimmer of realization, and it’s underlying emotion. Honestly, she will love her child no matter what he thinks of it, but she just wants to be sure about what he wants. ”I don’t want to keep you.” she finally voices, her tone more hoarse and soft than she’d intended. Sometimes he smells of the weirdest places in the morning, sometimes of other horses too. She couldn’t care less as long as he made it back at some point, but a child... a child might tie him down in ways she cannot imagine.
will you let me follow you, wherever you go… bring me home?
@[Svedka]
Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this: men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.
About that, comes her honey-sweet voice and the stallion grins, thinking that the debate was over and she had every intention to dance the dance with him once again. She pauses and it is not the length of the pause that brings him from his reverie, but the lack of movement. Mild concern flutters across his white face, leaning back only slightly so that he could glance at her and give her a quick once over - perhaps he had been too bold (it has happened before) or maybe he has missed something completely. It turns out to be the latter when she quietly and hurriedly confesses to him that: Svedka, we’re going to be a family.
The statement confuses him at first because he thought that they already were - her, Kagerus, Solace, his other siblings and his countless nieces and nephews, and, of course, Ilma herself. Svedka takes a solid step back, taking in the perfect cream of her face and those doe-like eyes, studying her with a gentle inquisitiveness that is almost boyish. Of course, never being a father before (a knowing one) made it quite easy for him to miss what she is telling him at first, and his gentle smile fades into a thin line as he purses his lips thoughtfully. “Ilma, I don’t -” his voice is laced with gentleness, his mind still trying to take the steps to come to the same conclusion that she has.
Ilma’s soft voice floats through the summer air again and he is rife with more confusion, suddenly feeling frustrated because her voice held something so much more - and he knew it - and he felt as if she was turning away from him for reasons he did not understand. It is the last thing that he would ever want, to be turned away, yet he stands there in the water dumbfoundedly, a near pout on his lips. “Keep me from what, Ilma?” His voice is firm, a snort leaving his ivory nostrils.
Then, the realization hits him like a rogue wave in the Tephran sea.
His brows rise and his face softens, a barely audible gasp leaving him. Svedka’s eyes are bright with shock and wonder as he gently presses his mouth to her smooth cheek. With a voice as quiet and unassuming as could be, he asks her for clarity. “From becoming a father?”
a certain type of silence has filled my voice I scream beneath the water and make no noise
It wouldn't be the first time for her to simply give in, something that had in fact regularly occurred between their first night in Tephra and now, and she cannot help a small smile when he reacts similarly. Nevertheless, her statement gives him pause; so much so that she almost starts to worry that he doesn't want to be a father. He relieves her from this uncertainty quickly with his own confusion, and she starts to chuckle when he interrupts himself. His questions however take that moment away immediately, his concern and hers mingling together in a tension that should not exist between them.
She shakes her head abruptly. "I don't want you to feel tied down." she clarifies as much as she can, feeling ashamed for defiling the happy news with her own insecurities - nevertheless, she feels it's important. She gives a small smile though at his final conclusions. "But should you want to, yes, you're going to be a father."
will you let me follow you, wherever you go… bring me home?
@[Svedka]
Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this: men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.
The bright blue of his eyes are searching hers with a swelling of concern, gentle in the way they find her irises, wondering why she is so meek and almost unsure around him. It causes the stallion to take a sweeping step towards her, disliking the uncertainty that flickers in her gaze and that he had put it there, somehow, without understanding how. Svedka snorts softly, his brows coming together in a mild furrow as she shakes her head - not in a dismissive way, no, but almost as if she is defeated.
I don’t want to keep you tied down. But should you want to, yes, you’re going to be a father.
The look of surprise that crosses his pale ivory and golden face comes in a slow wave, the tension in his face releasing as his jaw relaxes to allow an inaudible gasp to pass through. He is quick to reign in the surprise with a gentle toss of his head, reminding himself that though she had known him for years and that she should understand that he could never be tied down (if he didn’t want to be), that her memories do no service to her and thus has brought her to this pivotal moment. Svedka is as bold and spirited as the summer wind and knows that nothing in the world could keep him from being that way - even if his family began to grow. “Ilma,” he says gently into the warm air, tilting his head slightly. “You act as though anything you could do would keep me from being who I am.”
There is a small smile on his pink mouth as he fills in the space between them, pressing his lips to her cheek carefully and intentionally. “Being a father does not scare me,” he admits to her quietly, his voice nearly a whisper against her skin, “not with you as their mother.” His smile widens, bringing his head forward to lip at the creamy color of her forelock affectionately.
The concern in his eyes is heartwarming and alarming, and she holds a breath until he speaks. He’s right, of course - she acts as though anything she does and says may break them apart. She gives the first half of a headshake when he says she would change him. ”Just... you don’t need to change for me. Or for them. I’m sure they’ll be fine and you’ll be a great dad.” She says, a half-smile on her face. Her worries cease, instead replacing with something softer, finer on her face. ”However long your way home may be.” she teases, nibbling at the nearest piece of golden skin she can find.
She breathes slowly, leaning in. There is a certain kind of stupidity she allows herself to feel for the moment, but when he seems to relax as well, her eyes brighten and make way for something else. ”So... another bath, you said?”
will you let me follow you, wherever you go… bring me home?
Ilma
@[Svedka] Tried to work in some sort of closing post <3
Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this: men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.
