"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
03-14-2017, 08:04 PM (This post was last modified: 04-05-2017, 09:34 AM by Disastardly.)
Well...fuck. Fuuuuck fuck fuck. Fuck.
Fuck.
What the shit kind of mess had Diz gotten herself into? She was NOT supposed to go and...goddammit, and fall for anyone, least of all Dovev. Not Dovev, who Zor was fucking crazy about, obsessed with, chased after, pined for, acted far, far too much like their mom over for Diz to want to get anywhere near that clusterfuck other than to join in the banging now and again. Motherfucking fuck. So. Fucking. Screwed.
Shit, she had to talk to him, though, didn’t she? Had to--well had to what? Come clean that she’d slept with Dov without him? No. He’d done it too. God, though that sure as hell had been more than just sleeping with him. Not the point, she didn’t have anything to apologize for, not when their weird little trio went all three ways and sometimes joined up to have some explosive, delicious fun.
Except. Fuck.
She’d also failed to mention the fact she was pregnant during that little...encounter. That incredibly hot, unbearably fucking amazing, what the hell just happened encounter. God. Well, not that she’d intended to tell him anyhow. Kid wasn’t necessarily his, and sure as hell wasn’t his problem. Still. In light of...other things. Might not have been the worst idea in the world to--but not his problem, so. Fuck it. See? Nothing to apologize for there either.
Right?
Right.
Still, Diz was...maybe a little bit frantic as she looked for Zor in their usual haunts. Odds were good she’d find him in one of them. And then...fuck, she didn’t have the damndest clue what then.
One step, two steps, three. Just keep walking, one foot in front of the other ‘til she found Zor. First place, their little hollow in the forest, a lovely little dip in the land where a stream flowed through and great willow trees draped their weeping branches out over the water, leaving cozy, private places for people to talk or cuddle or just stand around not talking about anything, lost in their own thoughts together.
When she didn’t immediately find her brother beneath the branches of those graceful willows, she ground to a halt, exhaustion suddenly overwhelming her. The baby? Maybe it was just the baby, maybe it was...well, fuck, the damn adventure she’d just had with Dov had been pretty goddamn exhausting. In all the most amazing ways, mind, but she was running on empty either way.
Two rounds with Dov was enough to wear a girl out, and she couldn’t have been out long after that goodbye kiss had turned into so much more. She could still feel the heat of him on the ground next to her when she’d woken back up to find him gone. Couldn’t blame him either. The second she came awake she’d realized what a colossal idiot she’d been, so the fact he’d probably done the same, well, who could blame him for that?
Head bowed beneath the weight of such a long, eventful day, Dizzy leaned against the trunk of her favorite tree, sighing at the feel of rough bark under her cheek instead of Dov’s new skin and bones feel. Which, for the record, was not exactly comfortable, so why the fuck was it suddenly so appealing?
So fucking screwed.
Still. Too tired to give a shit just then, Diz closed her eyes and let herself doze, not quite asleep, but sure as fuck not quite awake either. Zor would come. Sooner or later, he’d find her. Always did, her Zor. Meanwhile, she needed a goddamn nap. Or ten.
He'd gotten what he'd wanted. Oh, yes. And so much more once Dizzy had joined them. Stoked their flames to white-hot heat until they were all lost and risen to a level beyond anything they had acheived before. Even better than the last time the three had dabbled in each other.
Zoryn had thought what he had going with Dovev was its own thing, and it was in its way. Though, Dovev could deny his desires for him all he wanted; Zoryn knows the truth of the boney stallion and that their kind of fire was not fueled by him alone. It was intoxicating, addictive, and Dov did have it right in that Zor would continue to crave him. But he wasn't completely correct. Dov isn't the only one who could sate Zor's powerful needs, although he certainly did it well. Full, so full to the brim with desire and yearning he had been. And their bodies danced and sang and burned together, grown and flourished into something wicked and great. It is something he would always crave to achieve again.
Sated and spent. Beyond satisfied with what had taken place that day. After, though, way after. When the soreness eased and the aches relieved. When the wounds from the bites and kicks healed over. When the beast in his mind, ever-present, fell into silent slumber. When Dovev was once more nowhere to be found, undoubtedly in someone else's arms. All Zoryn could feel was... empty. This gaping hole in his belly as yet unfazed by any amount of food he consumed. Utterly empty and devoid.
In those days passed from that primal affair, he'd sought to fill it. Pain and torment on some unsuspecting soul. Oh, and she had been a delicious distraction, even as she put up a fight. But it hadn't been enough. So he took, oh yes, he took more from her. And more. More, more, until there was nothing left of her. And still more, he took. When it was over, he stood over that nameless girl's body, staring blankly at the blood that ran from her in various places. "Why.." Just that one word from her echoed in his mind, a question she knew she wouldn't receive answer for. And he had none to give her. Walking over the girl's carcass, as empty as his chest, he left it behind. The bite she'd left on his neck stung, and the making of a bruise ached from her kick to his ribs. Eyes slid closed as he breathed in deep, savoring the pain. "Thank you." A whisper on his slow exhale. And that was all he felt as he carried on, already forgetting her face.
The beast stirred slightly when he caught a scent on the wind. Familiar and teasing. Images flashed in his mind of mahogany and crimson and pain-filled eyes. Dovev's pet. The one he'd been deliciously punished for playing with. Slow smirk spread over his maw as he crept toward her once again, though he had half-heartedly sworn to leave her be. Too hard to ignore. Too much tempt. But when he'd neared her, she'd already been wallowing in her own self-torment. Beating herself up inwardly, and damn if he didn't just get a tiny kick out of that. Chuckling quietly to himself, he turned and left her to her own misery. No need to add to it, and lucky for her Zor still sees her too perfect to tear up on the outside, more than he had the last time he'd seen her.
Slowly, Zoryn returned to his favorite haunt- to the shadows of the forest that welcome him like a lover returned, caressing his tan and white body and frosted black hair. His head sinks low as does the sun behind the trees, deepening himself further into the clutches of trees and brush. Idly, he entertains the idea of another long sleep, where he wouldn't have to feel the emptiness slowly swallowing him whole, not to wake until the next desperate hunger strikes.
But then he smells her, and her scent washes away all those thoughts. She has a fragrance that is all her own, wild and sweet, alluring. He let it fill him as he drew nearer to where she stands, his lips tugging upward as he begins contemplating all the different ways he could greet her. He's never been good at keeping track of the measurement of time, but it's been long enough for him to feel she might deserve a good spanking for not being around more. Ah, Dizzy, his beloved sister. The only one who truly knows him- truly understands him. And she should. More than anyone else. She had helped form him, mold him, made him who he is. And he couldn't possibly imagine life without her.
Her familiar body came into view, curvy and sleek and coated with black and small touches of white. His heart began to dance in his hollow chest as he spotted her leaning against an old tree... and it stopped as he takes note of her exhausted state, her scent mingling with... Dovev. He is no dolt, and it takes only a thud of his heart to realize what had his beautiful sister looking all sorts of tousled and tired. Mm, so Dizzy had found interest in his.. (his, what? Lover? Boy toy? Dark delicious desire?), had she? Interesting..
"Dizzy." He let her name drip off his tongue just as he rolls his shoulders and moves alongside her. His muzzle grazes over every luscious curve, taking note of the swelling of her barrel, and ending at the base of her neck and shoulder. "I see you've been busy." Tones deep, muffled by her skin under his lips. Without me. He thinks but doesn't say, holding back the low growl building as he places slow and sweet nibbles along the soft curve of her neck. Still, though, he can't be angry with her. Not ever. And it wasn't as though he hadn't enjoyed time with Dovev alone himself. He could almost grin, that the two of them would come together on their own. She is a part of him, as he is of her, and so in a way, one could say that he had been there. Hm, but Dov isn't here now, and Zor suddenly feels the need to erase the smell of him all over her. Cover it with his own. "My beautiful sister.." He croons lazily as he lips a few strands of her hair behind her ear. Slowly his touch glides back down to her side, that particular curve of her belly, and his eyes of brown and amethyst move to meet hers, a silent question within them.
She dreamed of him. Of course she did, after hours spent lost in his touch, in his scent, in the ecstatic heights he’d coaxed her body into. But it wasn’t Dov’s voice that purred her name and called her out of her nap, nor his lips trailing their way so slowly along her skin. “Zor?” she murmured sleepily, stirring as he traced the curve of her belly, just beginning to expand with the child that grew inside her. His, maybe. Or Dov’s. Hell if she knew.
“I see you’ve been busy.”
Diz snorted, and smothered a yawn as Zor nibbled his way up her neck. Maybe if she’d been a little more awake, she’d have read more into it, heard a whisper of jealousy in those five little words. As it was, she just muttered, “I think you mean smell.”
They hadn’t left a mark on each other this time, not so much as a scratch. It shouldn’t have done anything for her, shouldn’t have felt so goddamn good, not the gentle way he’d worshipped her body with his lips, his tongue, his teeth. Not the way he’d taken her so slowly, so tenderly, looking into her eyes, into her soul. Diz wasn’t the bullshit feelings type, or at least she’d always told herself. Somehow evidence to the contrary didn’t exactly make her cheerful.
Dizzy angled her head as Zor lipped at her hair, giving him better access to the line of her throat. Soft, gentle touches. She groaned and leaned into him, relaxing under his quiet ministrations. God, it felt good, letting him take care of her. A little grooming was just what she needed. He made his way back down her body to linger at the curve of her belly, barely changed just yet though no doubt in a few months it would be a very different matter.. And the look in his eyes, the quiet question there, had her letting out a soft little sigh.
She hadn’t wanted to admit it. Not to him, not to Dov. Saying the words out loud made it real, and she’d never wanted this. Never wanted to be a mom, sure as fuck never wanted to be anything like their mom was. Still, it was done, and barring some kind of fatal birth defect or magical intervention, the gentle curve of her belly was going to get a hell of a lot less gentle, and come spring she’d be popping out a kid.
Maybe Zor’s. Maybe Dov’s. Either way, he had a right to know. And a right to walk away if he didn’t want anything to do with it.
“Yeah, Zor. I’m pregnant.”
And suddenly it was real. Fuck. Fuck, she was pregnant. She was going to be a mom. All the more reason not to do something fucking stupid like getting caught up in bullshit emotions. It was the hormones. That was why she was so fucking mushy, and why she’d thought...well, it didn’t fucking matter what she’d thought. She didn’t do love. Not like that. So. Clearly she was just pregnant and it was making her crazy.
That was all.
Yeah.
Sure.
Good.
Maybe if she told herself enough it would even be true.
Warm, she's so goddamn warm. And soft- had she always been so soft?- as his lips and teeth trail gentle passage down her neck to her shoulder and furthermore to nuzzle the noticeable curve to her belly. So warm and so soft. And of course he would notice the change in her. Dizzy, above all others, is the most familiar to him. Her body, her mind. He finds comfort with her in this moment. The familiarity of her coupled with absolute trust. For just as he knows her, she knows him just the same. He can be himself with her, whoever he was, and she never turned from him. He would always return the favor with her.
"I think you mean smell." He eyes her from the corner of his vision and gives a snort of his own at her smart retort. Always so smart with that mouth of hers. Devilish woman. He hums and returns the velvet pink of his nose and blackish lips to her satiny black side. Spring is near, and with it, the shedding of their winter coats. Mm, and he could help strip it of her. Nice and slow. Slowly, he caresses her, lightly grooming and touching. Erasing. Dov has no place here with them in this moment, as Zor's mind turns fuzzy to all else aside from her. Dizzy. His beautiful sister. His... hell, his reason for being.
It hit him then, the truth of that thought. The emptiness he had been feeling since he had received such mind-blowing relief from his needs. Dovev, his addiction. The one his beast clawed his mind over and over into shreds for. But in the morning it was over and the beast lay quiet as the bone-armored stallion disappeared into the dawn. And it had left Zoryn... empty. And angry, so angry. A deep, quiet anger that builds and builds until he must seek the man out for another release. But Dizzy. His Dizzy. His heart has a different kind of beat when he is near her. Especially now, as he grooms along her back and her side.
How could he have been so blind.
He breathes deeply, exhaling soft into her skin as he loosed small bits of winter coat. And brown eyes lift to hers, the amethyst glinting like tiny stars. His question lingers there, and he doesn't have to voice it for her to understand. Everything in him goes suddenly still with her sigh. He watches the play of emotions on her face, frustration, confusion, a bit of fear, and finally- quiet acceptance. "Yeah, Zor. I'm pregnant."
Wow. Oh, wow. His eyes widen slightly, but he knows the truth of it. Knew once he'd traced the curve of her belly. Though, now spoken aloud, the reality of it sinks deep into him. His lungs burn and he realizes he'd been holding his breath, letting it rush from him with a whoosh. Wow. A child. All the time- all the sex. Yet, somehow- foolishly- it'd never been a possibility in his mind. Well, of course it'd been a possibility. But that didn't mean he had put weight to it. Never once had it occurred to him that this could be a real and true thing. Now, here they were. "Dizzy.. A deep rumble, a low purr. His heart thumps loud in his chest, to the point he forced himself to swallow for fear of the damned thing clamoring up his throat.
He curls himself around her, feeling her belly against his side. He pulls her to him and resumes his nuzzling along her spine and opposite side of her barrel and up to her neck. The touch is heavier now, more needy, but still gentle. God, they were going to be parents. It doesn't even matter to him if the child is his or Dov's. Hell, it could be both of theirs and it wouldn't matter. All still a part of her, and therefore a part of him. His mind whirls, and he doesn't know the name of the emotions sweeping through him and causing this wild ache in his chest and belly. No longer feeling empty, but full of. Want. Need? But it was stronger than that. "Dizzy. My beautiful Dizzy." His mouth roves her body, touching everywhere, kissing and nibbling, the words a deep rumble he barely registered he even said. Seeking. Wanting. His heart swells, racing, spreading this burn through his veins. Burning with this thing he doesn't understand.
Fucking parents. He doesn't know how to be a parent. Hell, not like they had much in the way of role models. Fucking how were they gonna raise a child. Ah, but this child was different. This child was theirs. Damned, if that didn't spark something wild and hot in him. Breaking. He was breaking apart inside. Cracking and reshaping. It burns so hot. So good. He groans into Diz's neck, touches stronger, breathing heavier. He places a love bite there at the curve of her neck where she always likes it, but easing the sting with a swirl of his tongue. "Dizzy.." A husky whisper, voice full of nameless things. Full of need. "We won't be like them." Not a promise, but a vow. God, this burn. It hurts so good.
03-21-2017, 07:08 PM (This post was last modified: 03-21-2017, 07:09 PM by Disastardly.)
“Yeah, Zor, I’m pregnant.” Dizzy’s own words still echoed in her ears like the clang of a prison cell slamming shut, bars closing in on her as Zor’s eyes widened and his breath fled his lungs. Frozen. Fuck. She stilled, waiting for him to panic the way she had, waiting for him to run, to turn his back on what wasn’t his problem, might well not even be his kid, because god knew they weren’t built to be good at this parent thing, not with where they’d come from.
Who they’d come from.
She couldn’t cut and run; it was her body the kid had taken over, her whole fucking life it had seized in tiny hands and caught up in a stranglehold. Changing everything, changing who she was. Crashing through her like a wrecking ball, shattering everything she thought she knew about herself. But Zor?
He could leave. She wouldn’t hold it against him, wouldn’t begrudge him the chance to escape becoming their parents, especially when there was no telling if he was even the father. Closing her eyes, Diz drew in a shaky breath, steeling herself to let him go, to tell him it was okay. That she understood. That she could do this alone. No big deal, right?
“Dizzy.” She breathed out slowly, steadily, calming the racing of her heart, and opened her eyes to look at him. Bracing herself for goodbye. But he pulled her against him, wrapping himself around her and holding her close, touching her all over again. Trembling with relief and the echoes of panic that she’d been fighting since...god, since the moment she’d started to suspect she was pregnant, she leaned into Zor’s touch, letting him take care of her.
She should have known he wouldn’t leave her. Not her Zor. Shaky, she pulled him close, wrapped herself around him and held on tight to the one person who had been there for her his whole life. Who didn’t have it in him to abandon her. “We won’t be like them.” Fuck. So much for getting herself under control. She hated the tears that welled up in her eyes and trailed down her cheeks, rubbed them away against his shoulder. Fighting to draw a steady breath, she nodded and just held onto him.
“We won’t,” she whispered when she could finally find the words, few though they were. This kid wouldn’t just be some pawn to use in its father’s schemes, or a piece of him its mother could claim the way its father wouldn’t let her. She may not have wanted it, but it was too late to do anything about that, and she damn well wasn’t going to repeat her parents’ mistakes. They wouldn’t repeat their parents’ mistakes.
Exhausted, Dizzy leaned against her Zor, pressing her lips to his shoulder and sighing heavily against his skin. “We won’t.”
It's consuming him, rapidly- this rush of emotions. He isn't used to such things. Doesn't understand the names of the feelings sweeping into him, filling him up until he is burning and drowning all at once. He isn't sure how to handle it, so he clings to Diz with all he has. Pours it all into her with his touches and kisses and, holding her close, he tries to make sense of it all.
Fucking hell, they're going to be parents. Soon, very soon. He supposes somewhere inside he should feel... denial? Trapped? Run away and let it not be his problem, perhaps. He has no place being a father to anything, has not the slightest clue how to even broach the subject. But, no. These thoughts pass through him as quickly as the wind through the trees, that doubt washing from his mind as quickly as it had risen. Instead, it is replaced by want and need- the things Zoryn is defined by.
He wants this. The connection with her, (even perhaps with Dovev as well), outside of body and mind. Solid proof of their lasting bond. This passion-filled being that bubbled over into something more. Something precious. Something that would come to mean more than life. Even if he doesn't yet understand it, he is proud of this thing they've made, no matter the details of who or how or what the child will be.
And he needs. He needs his Dizzy, this amazing and beautiful woman he's wrapped himself around. Hugging and rubbing against her, feeling that soft-but-firm roundness of her belly against him. Fucking hot. Though he is careful not to be too rough; precious cargo, this woman carries now. He nuzzles Diz and then her belly, feeling something deep inside him reaching out for it. Damn it, he needs. Needs to promise he can be better. For her, for their child. Better than the shit examples of parents before them, better than what the world would expect from them to be. And so he does, a directly whispered vow into his Diz's ear.
She wraps herself around him too, and his fire grows. Hot, so hot. He feels the wetness of her eyes as she wipes them on his shoulder, the coolness of it shocking against the heat building and rising within him. He eyes her and pulls her tighter to him. No, he could never leave her. She would never be alone. This child would know them, not be forced to watch from a distance and vye for whatever kind of attention they could find. They would not follow in their parents stead. "We won't." Her whispered agreement comes along with the pressure of her body leaning into him and her lips against his shoulder. Pure trust. It fills him with more determination. More need. Hunger for more. A burning desire to accept and welcome these new emotions. So hot and so good. Restless, his lips continue their travel of her neck, her shoulder, broad back and her belly once more as he let it consume him. "Precious." He murmurs into her skin, and could swear there was an answering kick. For the first time in a long time, he smiles.
03-30-2017, 07:59 PM (This post was last modified: 03-30-2017, 08:04 PM by Disastardly.)
Dizzy wasn’t oblivious to the direction Zor’s thoughts were headed. How could she be, as familiar as she was with his touch? She knew the fervor of his kisses, the drag of his teeth along her skin, the way he pulled her body against his like he couldn’t get enough of her. She knew the weight of him on top of her, the way he gripped her hips just so, knew the way they fit together as he drove himself into her, the heights they reached, the heights they could reach again.
And yet.
God, all she wanted was to wrap herself up in his arms and let him hold her. Curl her body into his, rest her head on his shoulder, and sleep. She wanted his warmth wrapped around her like a blanket, even if she was a damn furnace these days. And tired, she was so fucking tired. Any other day the brush of his lips against her skin, the firm press of his body, those hot little love bites would have set her on fire. She’d have been writhing beneath him by now, grinding against him and begging him for more.
But all she had in her today was the warmth of home that bloomed in her chest as he touched her belly, as he murmured a quiet endearment against the growing curve. Precious. A soft smile spread across her lips, answering his own as she turned her head to look into his eyes. He was right. They’d do a better job than their parents had. They might not always get it right, but they would do a damn sight better than the example they’d had.
Not that it would take much.
Soft, so soft, when had she gotten so soft? Dizzy slipped closer to Zor and ducked under the curve of his neck, reaching up to press a quiet little kiss to his cheek before curling into him. “Hold me?” she asked, her voice gentle in a way that made her feel almost like a stranger to herself. “Will...Zor, love, will you just hold me?” And god but she hated the quiet vulnerability in the question, hated the way her heart ached knowing she was disappointing him, not giving him what he needed, not meeting him in the middle of the fire in his blood.
But it didn’t stop her from leaning into him and losing herself in the strength of his embrace, in the warmth that lit up her chest as he held her close and made her feel safe. Home. He’d always been her home, since he was so damn little. Since he was the one tucked up against her chest while their mother chased hopelessly after their father. Her home, her best friend, her soft little teddy bear, the one she held tight and clung to when she felt all alone.
“You know I love you, right?” she whispered, a tremor in her voice as she rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. “More than...more than I’ve ever had the words to say. I’ve never been good at the feelings thing, you know? But I love you, Zor. Always.” Another soft little kiss, her lips brushing against the crook of his neck, before she gave into the weight of exhaustion and finally, finally fell asleep.
* * *
Her sleep was plagued with dreams, fleeting images she couldn’t quite remember when she woke in the night with a soft gasp, her pulse racing, heart aching in her chest. Pressing a gentle kiss to Zor’s forehead, she slipped away into the dark. She thought best on the move, always had. And god, but she had some shit to figure out, didn’t she? Like how the fuck to keep everyone she loved from getting hurt. It wasn’t just the three of them that would suffer if she fucked it all up now. There was a whole new life depending on her to get it right. And god, but she was so much better at breaking things.
So wrapped up in the turbulent storm that was his mind and the need that so often drives him, he'd blinded himself to her own needs. Assumed she would catch fire and burn with him together as they so often had before. But at once, the path of his kisses and grooming is halted as she slips under his neck, severing his touch from her delicious skin. At last, he blinks to clear the haze caused by his desires and meets her eyes to measure her thoughts. The kiss she places to his cheek is warm and welcome, and he turns his face to her to brush his lips over hers. So soft, like velvet, sending trickles all through his body, making him shiver a bit.
And then she speaks, and her voice makes him inwardly pull back. Just hold her? "Of course.." Of course, although there is a touch of confusion in his tone, questions burning his mind. Just hold her. He does, wrapping her up all snug and tight, resting his head on her back just behind her withers. His breathing slows, but mind races. Confused, a bit disappointed, frustration looming. All these new feelings, with his desire for her stronger than ever. But just hold her. Sure, whatever she needs. He reminds himself (forcefully and regretfully) that there is plenty of time for them to enjoy each other. That enjoying her doesn't always have to mean with sex. She's pregnant now, perhaps her body aches in other ways she isn't used to, that he couldn't understand. He swallows the thought that being better could mean being a little less selfish and greedy. So, he melts into her, savoring the feel of her body against his in this way, unassuming and simply warm and accepting. Even if he is still tamping down his urges.
If there were ever a set of words that could effectively and utterly break him, she found them then. He tenses as she opens up, absorbing every word along with the caress of her cheek to his shoulder. He tenses because neither of them is good at this thing with words and feelings and tenderness. It is not typical of them, and he is unaccustomed to the way his heart pounds violently in answer to her, this tightness in his chest that rises to his throat and threatens to choke him. He pulls back, though still wrapped around her, but enough so he can see her and she could see him and the way he burns for her through his eyes.
Love. Such an intense and passionate thing. Of course. Of course that's what this was ravaging inside him. His deep voice cracks a little at first with the tightness in his throat, but he forces the words he'd never once spoken. Never once fully understood, til now. "I love you." And oh, holy hell, there it was out loud. The truth of it spirals down to the very core of him, shocking and wild and dispelling the tension inside him. A small bubble of a laugh escapes him. "Beautiful disaster." Chuckling, he presses into her more, chin brushing over her hair as she falls asleep. "I love you, and I always will."
It takes forever for him to fall asleep. With so many thoughts and the realization of the root of his feelings, rest seems like some distant notion. But he contents himself with Diz so close, for hours wrapped in this warm embrace. Happy. Until she wakes up to kiss him and leaves. He isn't sleeping, not really, but he lets her go, sensing her need to be alone for a while. He misses her warmth almost immediately, but he couldn't deny his own need for rest and time to wrap his mind around the fact that he loves her, deeply, and is actually happy. Excited for the life growing inside her.
