"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
09-03-2016, 10:09 PM (This post was last modified: 09-04-2016, 08:34 PM by Lucrezia.)
The weather began to shift. The light of the sun was now hidden behind a thick gray patch of clouds—the shape illuminated by the bright rays attempting to break through, to be freed. A dark shadow was casted across the meadow as the low-laying storm began to roll in steadily, but slowly. A soft rumble of thunder sounding off in the distance. She watches as the dark grey clouds roll across the sky, hiding the light from the sun. it had been a rather fairly warm spring morning on her way here but it seemed that nature decided to change its course—as did the magic of Beqanna. The soft rumble of thunder coming closer does not scare her. In fact, she waits for it come along with the rain. She knew there would be, or at least the dark clouds looked promising.
This time of year had always been a favorite of Lucrezia and even the meadow itself. This was her childhood playground, her adventure land. It was the place where she had come to imagine what her life would be like when she was not off adventuring in the Chamber or bothering her once queenly sister. Lucrezia tries not to look back on those memories. Her memories of the Chamber and her family are full of secrets and betrayal. She was not surprised to feel angry towards them; it was something natural she told herself. However, she cannot help but think of the Chamber, the Deserts, her family and friends now.
Lucrezia grows weary of her thoughts—it wasn't a good idea. She relapses over her feelings and memories ever since she left the Mountain. Her hatred towards the gods and the heathens that took away her home boils her over the top. She wants to see them all perish in the very end, to tear out their eyes and smash their hearts into pieces. How could they do this?! She screams inside her mind. Compassion is something she cannot feel right now—she must though; she must remember this was a new beginning, a second chance for even herself.
This disaster was her revolution.
The peafowl multicolored mare trots forward. She can hear the thunder of the storm coming closer and the flash of lightening in the distances. Her hooves pound harder on the ground as she pushes a little faster into a trot now. Lucrezia flares her nostrils, taking in the scents around her. The smell of rain is close, and she knows within seconds the rain will come.
And rain does come.
It is soft against her skin, dampening her to some degree she doesn't mind. However, Lucrezia wouldn't really care if she got soaked now. Where she once lived, there was hardly any rain. Where she once lived, there were things to worry about more than rain—and now there is nothing to worry about. The rain begins to pour harder now and the thunder is so close she can feel the rumbling of it. The anger within every roar it makes—she wants to scream out too.
The gods had taken the Deserts first, sunk it down deep under leagues of briny, barren water. And then they took the rest of it. The children squabbled, and now their toys had been taken away, and now the children scrabbled around in the dirt for something new to play with. Forced to interact with one another in such close quarters, the conversation had been buzzing, people trying to locate people, people trying to… Well, trying to make sense of the craziness. They were truly a people lost.
And he was no stranger to the anger. A small part of him rejoiced that it was no longer just him that felt this; that everybody in Beqanna now knew of the anguish of having their home destroyed, taken from them for no fault of their own. It was a petty satisfaction, but it was satisfaction all the same, and he grasped at anything he could have.
Perhaps this angry looking mare striding past is familiar to him. It certainly stirs something, although he can’t quite place it. Perhaps they had crossed paths briefly, back when he lived in the Deserts, or perhaps she is just a passing, memorable face. But he is brought back to his sand, and his dunes, quite suddenly, and so he pursues her, reaching alongside her with an easy spurt of speed.
”Somewhere in a hurry?” he says easily, glancing at her briefly. ”With that look on your face, I wouldn’t find it so hard to imagine you’re off to destroy whatever god did this to us all.” this quip is delivered with a slight smile, and a great deal less dryly than his usual – but then, dryness would be wasted in this weather.
Rejoicing is something she should be doing now too. She should be satisfied that all the others know what it’s like to feel this way. However, she cannot rejoice like that. There are those that did not deserve to have their homes destroyed, to have their gifts taken away from them for no reason at all. She knows there were good people before this—thought there were few of them.
And it just might be even fewer now.
She doesn't know what everyone else is feeling right now about it all. It’s an emotional rollercoaster for herself—one second she is content on this second chance, and the next she’s ready to blame it all on the next one she sees. But, for now, she lets the emotions of anger and hatred take over. She lets them boil to the very top until she’s had no more—until she burns and collapses from exhaustion.
Not being alone was something she thought would be impossible, especially at this moment. She didn't hide the way she felt right now, it was open like a gun ready to fire at the next target that came her way. She could run in the rain by herself for hours, instead she pulls herself to a quick stop. Slipping forward, her hooves catch her just a couple paces from where she intended to stop.
“I have nowhere to go,” she says with harshly, though she knows the statement was said in good humor. Lucrezia just cannot find the humor right now in the matter—even though she did enjoy a good sense of humor and wit from another. “I would be happy to destroy whatever, whomever did this.” She cannot help but consider the idea for a moment. “There’s too many of them though.” And truly she has no idea how many would be blamed for this. All she knows is that every one of them had to suffer—every one of them was offered redemption too.
She shakes her head, rain droplets flying a little here and there but it made no difference since the rain is pouring—harder now. “Sorry,” she says sincerely, “I don't mean to be this way.” Lucrezia often cannot hold herself back when she’s under stress or conflicted on what to do. She has emotional bursts sometimes – a fault of hers often for bottling it all up. “I’m Lucrezia,” she says softly, a slight smile lifting up. “I suppose we can start there.”
Everything they had ever known had been thrown into chaos; of course it is natural that they feel misplaced, directionless anger. It is only natural that they cry, and shout, and run. It will take time for them all to come to their senses, to realise that this is a permanent decision and that they ought to be grateful that they get even this…
He simply listens to her vent, letting her emotion wash over him, but never disturbing the stones beneath. He is no stranger to these feelings, these emotional outbursts – it can all get too much sometimes, realising that you truly have nowhere to go, and it can be difficult to realise that there is nobody that you can turn to at this time.
”Lucrezia,” he says, nodding his head. ”It’s alright, I understand. It’s a stressful time for us all. I’m Romek.”
He looks briefly across the Meadow, of all the horses gathered, chattering away, abuzz with – well, whatever emotion they’re feeling currently, before looking back to the mare. He notices, with a frown, that she looks somewhat familiar – although he still can’t place it (although she might, he is a near-identical copy of his sire Nocturnal).
”You’re not the only one feeling like that. Look around you. You’re not alone.”
She had made a promise to herself she would let everything she had ever felt be left on top of the mountain. Everything she had left would destroy her down in this new life. She had carried a heavy weight upon her shoulders these past years. This was something new—a new life given to her. It was a chance for her to make up for all the wrong she had done. A chance for all of them, truly.
There is something kind in the way he simply listens to her; it’s something she notices after she has shed every word of frustration out of her. But, deep down, she knows there will be more. She knows her past cannot be completely forgotten. She has to try though… and starting here was part of her process, her first steps.
A smile, a little more warming and friendlier this time than before, grows across her jawline. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Romek.” Even in this situation, she thinks but does not say to him. “It is a stressful time.” She cannot help but look around her for a moment, the rain pouring down around all of them.
Her ear flickers into his direction at the sound of his words. ”You’re not the only one feeling like that,” he says. However, Lucrezia cannot help but feel like she is. She has felt alone for most of her time in her life—and she felt more like it than ever. Everything she had loved and known had slipped through the cracks and sunk into the earth. She has no idea if it will ever come back. “You’re not alone,” he says and at those words she turns and looks back at him.
“It feels like I am.” She says softly. She doesn’t even try this time to conceal what she is thinking and feeling. It’s too much for her to even handle right now. All of these emotions have to go somewhere—out of her, not back in again.
Lucrezia sighs. “I know I cannot be selfish like this, or truly mad.” But I am, she says to herself. “I lost my family, friends, and home. I lost the only thing that gave everything that made me and helped me become who I am now.” But she has yet to realize she has that still here. She has Kreios and Rome left somewhere in this new world still called Beqanna. “My home—the Deserts, I mean, was the first to go before all of this.” And she wonders what else that makes her who she is will be taken from her.
09-12-2016, 05:19 PM (This post was last modified: 09-12-2016, 05:22 PM by Romek.)
fuck all your dreams; they're not all they seem.
Look at them all, this land of misfits and the lost, stung into pain and suffering by the land that had hosted them so well for so long. And, in doing so, she had cast away swathes of her children into the darkness, left them in the cold. His own daughter, Lilitha, is one lost to the shadows, although she shouldn’t be. She is warm, and sweet, and if she is feisty, it is because she is young, and doesn’t understand what had come before.
She says it’s a pleasure to meet him and he smiles politely in return. She seems to be managing to shake off her initial anger, if only temporary – but its progress, its all progress, and everyone has to start somewhere. ”And yourself.” he says. He has never been one for formalities or insincere niceties, but he is genuine now.
‘It feels like I am’ she says, and despite his hatred of touching, he finds himself moving closer to offer some comfort, some physical assurance – he is here, he seems to remind her by reaching out to touch her shoulder gently. He is here, and he is going nowhere. It is not much that he can offer, but he gives it willingly. Of course, she probably doesn’t even need or want it but Romek feels like he must try something, at least.
He listens to her, because it’s all he can do for now. He doesn’t know her, he cannot give her support, he cannot promise anything, he cannot reassure in good faith. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen. He doesn’t know whether everything is going to be okay or not, whether the lands will rise up and rip the ground from beneath their feet again, or rip the people from their lives. He simply cannot say. So he listens, nods sympathetically, and understands what she is going through (because he is going through the very same).
She mentions the Deserts and his dark brown ears prick up.
”You lived in the Deserts as well?” he asks, tilting his head. ”I grew up there, I rose through her ranks. My blood is more sand than water, I fear.” A slight smile as he reflects briefly on his heritage – of his Mothers, the two Queens, and further back still, to his grandfather, the First King of the reborn Deserts (and isn’t it a funny coincidence that Romek has become a kind of founder as well?). His kin was tied to dune… but no longer. Now he is of tree and dirt and running water, and his children will never know the warmth of the sands.
”It was a difficult time, and I thought it had been overcome. I found happiness again. But then it was ripped out from underneath. Again.” he pauses, his eyes glittering, as he regards this mare (this relic). ”Was it the same for you?”
He pauses once more (pause pause pause). "And now I have found a new home, a new land... And I just wait for this one to go wrong again."
It is his touch that makes her whole body shake; not out of fear, but something she had not expect from a stranger. Lucrezia has never felt any hatred towards touching others. It just had never been anything she did openly to others except with Kreios and Tarnished. She has always kept herself back from others she did not feel comfortable with (and when she did feel comfortable with another, she allowed herself to let them in her presence). This time though, from a stranger, she does allow it.
She welcomes the king gesture; the physical assurance she needs desperately right now. It was not as if he threw his whole self at her. It was just a gentle touch on her shoulder. Lucrezia allows herself to settle down quickly, taking control back of her body to not shake anymore. She gives him a warm smile. “Thank you, Romek.” It was all she could say to him.
Lucrezia watches as he becomes more alert at the mention of the Deserts. Her right ear then turns towards him as he speaks and mentions the Deserts as well. “I did live in the Deserts, but that wasn’t my birthplace.” The picture of the Chamber starts to be painted into her mind. She can feel the eeriness of it creeping into her mind. “I was born in the Chamber and came to live in the Deserts when my father was king.” It was a long ago history, but it was the reason she came to the sandy kingdom. “I was in the ranks as well. I was in the diplomat caste.” She smiles at the thought of that. It brought good memories for her.
“However, I don’t remember ever seeing you there.” Her eyes narrow a little, staring at him for a moment as she tries to remember. It only last for a second, her curious and strange face she makes at him. She laughs when he mentions he is more sand than water. “Who were your parents?” She thinks maybe she might have heard of them, or maybe knew them. The Deserts thought had been home for many – it was possible she did.
She listens to him, regarding what he says for a moment as they speak about something she loves more than anything. “It was a difficult time,” she says softly, “I wasn’t there when it went under though. I was far away from Beqanna when it all happened.” She regrets it even more that she wasn’t there to help her home and friends. “I did find a happiness there; a happiness I don’t know I’ll ever find again.”
“That’s good news,” she says with a smile, forced because she is still thinking about the Deserts and not being there when there was a war and flood. However, she frowns at his last words. She didn’t like the idea of something going wrong again—losing everything all over. “I guess it feels like it could go all wrong again. But, maybe, if we try our best and learn from where we did wrong that it won’t this time.” It sounded nice, but it was far indeed something hard to grasp onto and do.
