"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
“C’mon, angel eyes,” Kirby crooned softly, nuzzling his sweet baby girl’s soft foxy fur. They’d spent way too much time sleeping and snuggled up all cozy like, not that he’d ever mind spending time cuddling his Kali baby. But it wasn’t good for her, spending so much time hiding away from the world, barely moving, not acting like her adorable, curious, bright-eyed self. Or the self she used to be, before Taiga.
“Show me your pretty face, huh, baby girl? Let’s go see Roma, you remember her, right? You love her, and she’s been wanting to see you.” Kali turned her momma’s gorgeous angel eyes up to look at him, peeking out of her favorite little grey fox face. “Yeah, see? I thought you might like that idea! C’mon, angel, let’s go say hi. Don’t worry, I’ll do all the talking if you want.”
He rose gracefully to his feet, cheating and letting the iron of his body flow seamlessly from lying curled around her to standing watch over her instead of lurching to his feet horse-style and having to take care to avoid stepping on his still so fragile baby girl. “Up you get, little darlin’, time to go visit.”
Kali obeyed, slowly, a hint of reluctance in her eyes and in the way she tucked herself up against his side, still clinging to him like her life depended on it. He brushed her forelock out of her eyes, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and made himself a cozy iron wing to wrap around her so she’d feel a little safer. That always seemed to help, though not nearly as much as it did when Kharon wrapped his wing around her. Still, it was an echo of that safe, home feeling, and it helped her relax against him.
One more little nuzzle, a soft little kiss to the side of her neck, and they were off, tracking down Roma to go say hello. Well. For him to go say hello, and for Kali to probably stare silently and sneak another snuggle. At least the walk would do her good. She’d gotten a little thin, could use some bulking up. He wasn’t sure if it was the lack of movement or the lack of appetite, or maybe the combination of the two, but his baby girl was looking a little...ribby. A little sharp in the hips and along her spine, her coat a little duller than it should be. He sighed and fussed over her, brushing his lips against her hair, tugging her a little closer with his makeshift wing.
Soon. God, he hoped at least, things would turn around soon. He’d already seen little hints of improvement. Playing with a new little friend, even if tentatively. More willingness to wander with any of them, as long as she could be tucked up against their side. He’d even caught a stray smile or two, and if that wasn’t progress he didn’t know what was. One step at a time, baby girl. It’s gonna be okay.
She had been alone too long. Too long lost in the memories of the past, in the what-ifs and has-beens. She has been too long trapped in her mind. It was time for her to go, time for her to move on, to find someone else to know. It was time for her to feel something again, something more than this melancholy she couldn’t shake. It was time was for her to come out of the shadows to put on the brave face she had once had when she had been young and full of youthful ideas and demands.
The wind ran it’s invisible fingers through her tangled mane, sweeping it back across her neck and out of her eyes. She stared out across the ocean, her hooves deep in the sand. Her wings were stretched out just slightly, ready to fly or having just landed it was hard to tell which. There a small smile on her face as she tilted her chin to the breeze, closing her eyes against the feeling of it against her skin.
The sound of hooves in the sand not to long later had her turning from the view of gray ocean and gray skies. It looked like a storm was brewing somewhere out to sea. Perhaps she could catch it later. She smiles when she sees him, smiling a bright smile that hadn’t been on her face in some time. There was still that pain around her heart, but she smiles around it anyways.
It falters, just briefly, when she sees how thin, how wrong her Kali looks. This was not the exuberant child that she had once known. His words hadn’t described enough how not-Kali this was. Her heart aches now in a different way, her smile is back. She was still genuinely happy to see her.
She turns her body towards them, stepping away from the ocean and the storm that called her. “Hey Kerb.” She says, her golden eyes meeting his briefly before she finds Kali’s face hiding amongst the tangles of his mane. “Hey Kali-girl. I’ve missed you.” She pauses just a couple steps from her, one wing opening at her side, quietly offering her girl a hug.
Kali clung tight to Daddy’s side, sighing and resting her head against his neck. She used to fit tucked right against the curve of his shoulder, her face barely able to pillow right there in the crook of his neck. Now though, she was too tall to fit like that, lean and lanky and what used to be elegant, but had lately started to edge toward gaunt. Hollow eyes echoed the hollows in her body where she’d started to lose muscle mass, ribs peeking through beneath her dull coat.
The coming winter hadn’t done much to mask it, living on the island as they did. Still, she was cold all the time, burrowing into family members for warmth as well as comfort. Couldn’t seem to shake the chill that felt bone-deep now, her body quietly protesting the way she’d been treating it, depriving it of food and water because it was so hard to force herself to eat or drink or even breathe sometimes.
She stopped when Daddy did, staying nestled against him and held close under his makeshift iron wing that he wrapped around her, keeping it at the same temperature as the rest of his body, warm and snuggly even though iron should by all rights be cool to the touch. Or that was what it was like when it was inert, but that cold, lifeless iron had always felt so wrong to her. Hard and empty and still and dead, when iron should be alive, supple and smooth and warm and malleable enough to bend to her daddy’s will and keep her snuggled up and safe.
As safe as she ever felt nowadays.
“Hey Kerb.” A familiar voice called from close by, close enough that Kali figured she could open her eyes and look into gold ones. Could. “Hey Kali-girl,” that familiar voice continued, trying to coax her in. “I’ve missed you.” The voice was closer, and she drew a reluctant breath, peeking one dull brown eye open to look at Roma.
She still mostly looked like herself, not ancient and deeply changed. Well that was good at least. She sighed and rubbed her cheek against Daddy’s neck, still looking Roma over. She had a wing up just a little, inviting Kali to come tuck herself up against her side and snuggle. But that sounded like so, so much work. Kali let her eyes drift closed again and let her head stay rested against Daddy’s neck.
“Sorry,” Daddy murmured, reaching back to fuss over her forelock and lip at her ears and press a kiss to her forehead. “She’s been like this since…” Since the thing they didn’t talk about, ‘cause she was still too fragile and traumatized or whatever. Didn’t matter. Not talking about it wouldn’t make it go away. “If you wanna come give her a hug or a cuddle, you can. Just coaxing her into doing anything on her own takes work.”
Looking at Kali absolutely broke her heart. She was broken, shatter into a million pieces with no hope, no will to put the pieces back to together. It made her heart stutter, made it ache and break for the inquisitive little imp she used to be. Kerb apologized to her, for Kali, but she shook her head slightly, stepping closer until she could reach out to touch her lips to Kali’s cheek. “There’s no need to apologize.”
She settles just on the other side of Kerb’s wing. She can still touch her lips to the girl’s neck and face, place teeth scratches here and there along the side of her neck, gentle little nibbles to offer comfort. She uses her body to offer protection, to cuddle the girl between them until she wants her to go away.
Any sign of distress and Roma would certainly step away, go back to where she had been standing and give Kali the room she needed.
Her golden eyes met his and she can’t hide the momentary distress that’s there, now knowing exactly what he had been feeling and going through these last few months. But of course, not quite the full extent because Kali wasn’t her daughter. “That kind of trauma would change any of us.” She says it softly, an ending to her words from earlier. Her eyes finding their way back down to the top of Kali’s head, who had grown enough that she was just barely able to fit as she had before.
Kirby sighed and nuzzled his baby girl, trying not to think about how she’d been once upon a time. Trying not to feel the same pain that flashed in Roma’s eyes seeing her, seeing how very different she was from such a short time ago. All that wide-eyed innocence shattered and so much hurt left in its place. He nodded, holding Kali close as Roma tucked herself up against her other side and fussed over her. And as usual, Kali barely responded, just sighing softly and letting her eyes drift closed.
He pulled the iron of his makeshift wing back into himself and nudged Roma gently, encouraging her to let her softer one take its place. He could make the iron warm, but he couldn’t make it feel like feathers, not even for Kali. He met her eyes, saw her worry in their golden depths, and nodded. Life had not been kind to his baby girl, and he understood her silence. Understood the way she’d withdrawn into herself where only Kharon could even try to reach.
Didn’t make it any less painful, or any less devastating.
He pressed his lips to the top of her head, muffling a sigh against her pretty hair. Didn’t make him miss his happy-go-lucky little baby any less. The world had broken her, and sometimes it felt like those shattered pieces of the old Kali were forever, were all that was left of her. But now and again he caught a glimpse of her, especially when she was spending time with Kharon. Maybe he put too much on his son, too much responsibility to look after her, maybe he should make sure his boy had more free time to be without the pressure of Kali’s happiness weighing on him.
But they seemed to at least take a little comfort in each other.
“It changed all of us,” he said softly, brushing his lips against Kali’s forehead. “But we’re doing our best, aren’t we baby girl?” She just sighed and hid her face against his mane again. Which he chose to take as a yes. “What about you, Rom? You settling in okay? Liking the island?” It was no Ischia, but it would do for as long as they needed it to. “Making any new friends?” He’d made no effort to do so himself, but to be fair, there had been important things on his mind. Keeping his kids safe. Getting them used to a home that wasn’t Ischia. Cuddling his Kali girl.
She slides her wing over Kali’s back and steps just that little bit closer so she is tucked up against her warm side. By now they were so close they were practically one horse but it didn’t matter to Roma, or bother her one bit. She loved Kali, loved her like she was her own, even if they had only been around each other a few times. She had always been a little beacon of mischief and brightness. She remembered when she had found her up at one of the tops of the waterfalls in Ischia. It had been so long ago, but for Kali, it was less.
Roma sighs, watches as he fusses over his baby. Her eyes lingering on Kali as she sighs and tucks herself back against his neck. “Yeah, that’s all you can do in situations like this.” She says softly, her ears flickering back and then forwards when he starts to speak again.
She is quiet a moment before answering. “Yeah I am settling in fine. I am still learning all the places on the island but it seems to be alright. At least it is safe from the plague.” She pauses, pressing her nose against the other side of the Kali’s neck, breathing in her scent. Friends well, she hadn’t yet made any of those. “Mmm.” She makes a noncommittal sound in her throat. “I’m working on it.” She wasn’t doing any such thing yet, but she was going to. She had just talked herself into it. Like just now.
“What about you? Besides the obvious are you guys settling in okay?”
