"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
06-18-2017, 08:01 AM (This post was last modified: 06-18-2017, 08:02 AM by Kylin.)
kylin
html code by Toli, design idea based on "Dovev" by Laura
He tells her "ooh love".
She had watched them, Kharon and Father. They seemed to always have fun together, to enjoy each other’s presence. Though Kylin liked Father too, it didn’t seem to be the same. The bond between a father and son different from one of a father and his daughter. Not that she was jealous of that. Yes she was aware of how much Kharon adored their father, but she also knew he loved her.
But. Seeing them together, made her wonder what her relationship with Mother was supposed to be. Could she have that what Kharon had with Father, with Mother? Just that thought, that spark of curiosity and strange longing, that had made her leave Kharon with Father – perhaps Kali was there too – as she went searching for her mother.
”Mom?” she calls, announcing her presence before approaching her. Mother was not like Kharon and Kylin is aware that she cannot just slide up at Mother’s side like she did with her brother. She wants to, but only if her mother would want it too. Her hazel eyes search Wallace’s, her dished head tilted a little to the side as she takes a small – both hesitant and hopeful – step forward. ”Hi.”
The rejects. That's what they were, maybe. They both knew what it was like to have a twin. Both knew what it felt when their other half was away. Wallace's twin had been away for years, lost and separated as children. But. Maybe they were both sort of the family rejects too. Wallace had a tie to every single one of them and yet she didn't feel like she belonged. She thought she heard that same sort of.. dejected wrongness in Kylin’s voice just then. They both seemed to slip into the background at times. Probably both felt so unwanted. Small, and like they didn't matter.
Or maybe that was just Wallace.
Hi, baby, she murmured, her voice as bland and empty as it always was. Empty like her, so hollow and scraped bare. No. Not empty. She wished she were empty. But she was pain, only pain. So goddamn much pain that never seemed to go away no matter how much time passed. She wished she was empty. She used to be so strong.
Her lifeless brown eyes looked over her child. She was barely old enough to have children and it so often felt more like she were an older sister to them. Just an older sister raising impossibly beautiful siblings. That looked nothing like her. Not brown. Not plain. Not ugly.
Not unwanted.
She was a terrible mother after all. Had never wanted to be one. Only ever wanted love, and look where that got her. She used to be bold, used to be brash and strong. A quick silver tongue with bladed words at the ready, and steady, sharp eyes. Now, she rarely even spoke. It didn't matter though. Nobody ever noticed anyway. Nobody really knew who she was before. Kirby had only gotten a glimpse before he broke her. And she was stupid enough and pathetic enough to fall in love with him. Who the hell else would ever want her anyway?
But he broke that too.
Or maybe she did. Because she could never be good enough.
Is that what Kylin was feeling too? Like she would never be good enough? Wallace dropped her muzzle on her and pulled her into her side. She didn't say anything as she stroked little patterns into that smaller spine. Not lace, though. Lace wasn't beautiful after all, it seemed. But she just drew nonsense patterns, twisted and unruly like their emotions. Even Reilly couldn't seem to untangle them, though he tried. But maybe she was only projecting her emotions onto Kylin. Maybe she didn't feel the same at all. She hoped she didn't.
html code by Toli, design idea based on "Dovev" by Laura
He tells her "ooh love".
Mother does not greet her as warm and welcome as Father would greet Kharon, but the murmured ‘Hi baby’ is enough. More than enough. Mother acknowledges her presence, accepts it even, and Kylin cannot be happier at that. Except Mother does not look happy. And when she thinks of it, Kylin isn’t sure if she had seen her mother ever happy.
At that moment she decides she does not like it. Kylin steps closer towards the mousey gray mare and reaches out to lay a sweet kiss on Wallace’s cheek. ”Hi mom” she murmurs back sweetly, pulling back to offer her mother a warm smile. Though everything that happened, she still loved her mother. Her heart flutters slightly as her mother draws her in for a hug and Kylin snuggles closer more than willingly. Though she had wanted this, desperately to bond with her mother, she hadn’t dared to hope for it.
She relaxes under her mother’s touch, hazel eyes half closing and if it would be possible, she would’ve purred right that moment. It goes on and on and on and Kylin slowly drifts off into outer space, not lost in thoughts but simply enjoying the sweet touch, her mother’s attention and presence. The question pulls her back. For a moment she freezes, dished head tilting as she looks at Mother, before glancing down at the ground underneath her feet. ”I.. I don’t like how Father.. took Kharon away..” she murmurs softly. It was okay for her to miss her twin, right? Kylin hoped Mother wouldn’t agree with Father. "But.. it's nice to spend time with you.
Her girl greets her with a soft kiss to her cheek and she thought she could almost smile. They had never been very close. Lacey tended to keep herself isolated and emotionally walled off from pretty much everyone. Maybe it would hurt less that way when they all left. So the sweet greeting, the caring kindness was both beautiful and painful. She wanted more, but was afraid to have it. Afraid to lose it and miss it and hurt even more.
Kylin relaxed against her, pressed herself in closer, and Lacey loved and hated that too. Wanted more. Afraid to have it.
"I.. I don't like how Father... took Kharon away," Kylin murmured so quietly. Wallace nodded, could hear the sadness in that sweet voice, the longing for her twin to be at her side where he belonged. Twins just seemed to belong together. She understood. She wished she still had hers too. "But... it's nice to spend time with you." She didn't really believe that. Wallace was terrible company, had always been. Now was even more so. Nobody wanted someone so miserable and down around them all the time. Better when she was a sarcastic bitch with a bad attitude.
I know it's hard to be apart. I'm sure they'll be back soon enough... Reassurance seemed to be a bit awkward for her. Used to be insults and sharp wit. But she would try for Kylin, of course. She did wish they could have a better relationship, be closer together. She just didn't have any idea how to do it. She'd always been alone.
We could... go out too.. if you wanted? She stumbled through it a little. She was definitely nowhere near as fun as Kylin's father. Nobody was. And... She hadn't been off the island since the invasion, and before that, she hadn't been off the island since Kirby. Leaving was always tempting and also terrifying. Almost freedom, but.. She wasn't sure. Something always seemed to hold her back. She would do it for her baby, though. Whatever she needed.
06-22-2017, 01:54 PM (This post was last modified: 06-22-2017, 01:54 PM by Kylin.)
kylin
html code by Toli, design idea based on "Dovev" by Laura
He tells her "ooh love".
Perhaps she should spend more time with Mother. Kylin hadn’t missed the slight display of emotion in her mother’s eyes, but she’s not aware of the fears. And even so, it wasn’t Wallace who had to fear being left behind. It was always everybody who left Kylin. Father, Mother, Reilly, even Kharon had turned his back on her sooner or later. And he was the one she had expected to never leave.
But Kylin, she didn’t plan on leaving. Ischia was home and she cared for her family. She liked it here. So why would she? When the silence stretches she eventually manages to look up, hazel gaze searching her mother’s. She’s afraid of what she would see there, afraid to be send away. ”I know..” she eventually murmurs, nodding before glancing away for a short second. ”But.. I’m not used to it. I don’t like being alone.” In fact, she even hated it.
That she had gone to visit her mother hadn’t be only because of that. The white and lavender girl genuinely wanted to bond with her mother, quite desperately too. Kharon seemed to enjoy the time he spend with Father, and Kylin wanted that bond with her mother. So the suggestion to go out, surprises her, but nonetheless excites her very much too.
”Oh, yes, yes please mommy!” she replies, almost bouncing on both her front legs and her ears pin forward. It would be her first time leaving the island since their little trip to the lake and though Kylin had always thought she would do it with Kharon, she’s more than happy to have her mother accompany here. ”Where should we go? To the lake Father showed us last time? Or somewhere else, somewhere new?” She obviously preferred the latter.
