[private] hold back the river; ainlif

[Revol]

Hold back the river, let me look in your eyes.

Oh, Revol had been a sweet, quiet child, unobtrusive and lost more often than not in her own thoughts. A daydreamer and a bit of a recluse, she’d made closer friends with the stories in her head than with any others of her species. Even now that she’s grown, she still has a...a bit of an imaginary friend, though she’ll deny it with her last breath. He doesn’t have a name, this imaginary friend, but she dreams of him often, shining silver splashed with white, calm and steady, his quiet silver eyes watching over her while she sleeps, while she roams, while she wanders off on her little adventures.

Today is just such a day, in fact, and she imagines can feel her shining knight friend walking a few paces behind her, giving her the space to explore while still doing his best to keep her safe. Not for the first time, she wonders if that’s what it would have been like to have a father. All she has of hers is one little story her mother told when she was little, of a quiet young man with those same silver eyes. Not much of a talker, her father, but he was sweet and gentle and kind. No doubt he was the inspiration for her lingering childhood guardian, and perhaps it was silly but it made Revol feel close to the man she’d never gotten a chance to meet.

So he was her little secret, held close to her heart, all throughout her life. He watched over her, if only in her mind, from the time she was a spindly-legged chestnut foal with his silver splashed like a mask across her face, until she grew into a tall, broad-shouldered woman with a heavy dose of her father’s riotous hair. Or at least she assumed it was his; Mom’s was certainly more manageable, shorter and straighter and less inclined to fiery dreadlocks. Mom also didn’t have the feathering around her ankles, or the breadth of hip and shoulder. Oh, she’d inherited some of Mom’s rugged brand of grace as well, but she was certainly no dainty, elegant beauty. A little rough around the edges, a little absent-minded, and her wide blue eyes often had a far-away look to them as her mind went meandering idly.

Ah, yes, but today. Today, she finds herself wandering through the forest, though it barely matters where her feet have taken her, does it? After all, her mind is on much more interesting things than the greenery surrounding her, the very edges of a few of the leaves just starting to fade from green to fiery golds and oranges and reds and dull earthy browns. Something about the sound of the songbirds high overhead reminds her of a dream she once had, spreading wings out as wide as they would stretch and soaring through the sky as the sun slowly set. Not that she had wings, or any experience being farther off the ground than she could reasonably jump, but that never stopped a dream before. 

Even now, she can imagine the ground far below her, the cool blue sky up above, the feel of clouds dancing across her skin. Her eyes drift closed, an absent half-smile on her lips as she remembers the sensation, pictures the forest from high above--and walks right into something very solid. “Oof.” Solid and warm and much softer than a tree, so it must not have been--nope. It was not. When she opens her eyes, she spots a stallion, not a tree at all. Which explains why her skin isn’t scraped up by rough bark. It’s just a little achy from the collision is all. “Oh my, I’m sorry! I got...well, I got a little distracted, and I wasn’t watching where I was going. Are you alright?” A silly question perhaps, but it comes out anyhow, long before it occurs to her to stop it from doing so.

Lonely water, won't you let us wander?

@[Ainlif] 

[Ainlif]

Kinley had appeared next to him silently, walking alongside him as she would have done in life. Sometimes he had to remind himself that she was dead and this was only in his mind. But other times he liked to think maybe she was real.

Her little form trudged as melancholy as his own steps, reaching just as high as his withers, only a foot and a half away. It was so tempting to try and touch her, his precious little girl, but he'd forbidden himself from trying. He'd lost his mind enough to see her, he wasn't sure how he'd handle the ability to touch her, as though real. Or possibly worse, being denied her touch when he could see her so clearly. It was best not to know.

Dark thoughts consumed him as he passed like a wraith through the forest. Merciless hooves crushed the falling leaves beneath his weight. He was restless, useless, hopeless. What was he doing with his life, and why did he continue to hide away.. His own inaction shamed him, but what else was he to do? It was best this way. Best not to know someone, not to get attached and have them die and crush his spirit some more. He was no longer worthy of a better existence. This was his life now, his punishment for failing them.

His deep auburn coat flared with gold each time he passed through the determined rays of sunlight piercing the canopy above. He wished it was more solid, to cut through those damned birds screeching so cheerily and causing his ears to twitch. Light amber eyes contrasted with a dark face and lit with a fire he had yet to vanquish, a burning anger. The slightest disturbance seemed to set him off as of late, his temper short.

His little apparition had long vanished, he realized belatedly. So lost in his thoughts he hadn't even noticed. Look at him, he couldn't even keep up with his own kid, though imagined as she was. He growled low at himself, a deep stirring within him ached to be set free. Something wild, uncontrollable. Powerful. Like a living, breathing dragon buried deep within his being. This feral part of him taunted and cursed him. It is time to RISE, it burned in his mind. He closed his eyes, and locked away yet another piece of his tattering mind. It wasn't real, and neither was she.

Oomph! A solid form suddenly knocked against his shoulder, hard. Already in such an unstable state of mind, he reacted instantly, lashing out with bared teeth and a groaning roar. He flattened his ears to his skull threateningly, and swifty shifted to face the creature, prepared to parry another hit then return the attack.

His smoldering eyes scalded the fiery red being before him as she hastily apologized. Agh, this was no enemy. He tucked his chin tight to his neck, letting his dark locks curtain his face while he tried to calm the raging beast within him. But it wasn't the beast, HE was. Another low growl escaped him again before he could stop it.

Ainlif looked up again, slightly calmer, a little more in control, eyes hard and penetrating.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded harshly. He flinched at his own tone. With every passing night he seemed to become more cruel, short tempered. He was losing himself.

"These parts can be dangerous," he tried to amend, his voice a little gentler but still edgy. And clearly they were with him around.

Ainlif