It was a big, big world, but we thought we were bigger

[Lieschel]

Lieschel

She follows them from the Adoption Den. She feels a little awkward being with this new family when she had been in the Den for such a long time. She was approaching a year old now, all long legs and gangliness. She stays close to Nevi who does what he can to make her feel more at ease. But she cannot help her eyes roving from Isle to Offspring, both of which were keeping a close eye on their two charges.

Her heart felt happy and that longing in her chest was gone. She had a home now and that was great! So great! But now she felt that she had to be good and perfect in order for them to keep her. Nevi had said they weren't like that. Even now he was still filling her ears with stories, attempting to soothe her. He knew the fear in her eyes would fade, hadn't he lived it himself?

She knew he knew and that helped to soothe her a little more.

Her body loosens up a little, her shoulder bumping against his now and then. The walk from the Tundra was a long one, and she noticed that it got a little colder the farther they went. She wouldn't need her winter coat as it was still rather warm but she could tell the humidity was thicker. The air seemed like she was wading through it.

And then, they were there.

She stops for a moment, her legs unwilling to carry her any farther when she looks at the giant wall before her. She had seen it grow bigger and bigger but until now, when she was getting ready to walk through it...."Good. Ness." She says with a breath, her eyes wide and round as she looks at it.

They give her a moment and then she is following them through the wall, until the Tundra spreads out far before her and her heart starts to hammer in her chest. A smile curls her lips. "I've never had a home before. Do they all feel like this?" She says, legs moving faster so she can catch up to Isle and Offspring. Her brown eyes blinking up at them both. "Like my heart might burst from my chest?" Her eyes turning from them both to Nevi. "Is it Nevi? Is this happy?"

That awkward moment when you're laughing so hard but no noise comes out so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal.

[Neverwas]

I know you're trying to fight when you feel like flying.

Lieschel has a home. If I do nothing else right in my whole life, I will still have done something worthwhile. And I have another sister now, another friend to play with and cuddle with and tell stories. Another someone to hold close when the shadows start to creep back into my chest and try to swallow up the light my family has helped me find. Licking away at the gentle glow that could someday be as bright as the sun if only...

Maybe it will be. Maybe if I surround myself with enough rainbow girls and sunshine souled boys and the love of parents whose radiance is sometimes so bright it blinds eyes too used to the dark, maybe it will—it doesn't matter, though. Not right now. The only thing that matters is Leelee. She's happy, and she's home. Where she belongs. Or at least she will be once we get there. I can see she's nervous, though, and we have a long walk ahead.

So I fill it with stories about her new family, and when I run out of those I launch into some of our favorite made-up stories. The dragon one's always a favorite, especially if Offspring is around to play the dragon. And there are a few about our favorite places, things she'll see when she gets there. The ice wall, the caves, everything I can think of to tell her until my voice is exhausted from so much unaccustomed use.

I'm not much of a talker, not unless someone needs me to be. I've never really had much to say on my own. So it's a bit of a relief for my weary voice and my weary feet when we finally make it back to the Tundra. “I don't know if all homes feel like this, but the good ones do,” I answer her, grinning even as my voice cracks from all the talking. “Yeah, Leelee. This is happy.” And it is. No trace of those shadows, not with my sister's smile lighting up my chest and chasing them away somewhere far out of reach. Please let it last this time.

Please let it last.

If you love me, don't let go.