[private] tear down hollows, take back eternity; Nashua

[Reave]

i am the mace, the map, the fall and the high

He might laugh if this weren’t such a dangerous discussion. He had spent time wondering why his brother hadn’t sought him out before. Why the older stallion hadn’t asked him for help when he knows he has the power to do so. But now, as the threads weave between them, memory and emotion, the future and the past all twining together, he understands.

Nashua had seen him as little more than a piece on his chessboard in his overarching dream for peace and unity. He hadn’t bothered to consider that Reave might have his own dreams and ambitions. Somehow, in this world of his where family is the most important thing, Cheri had ranked higher on that list of importance than Reave himself.

He’s certain it hadn’t been a conscious thing, but he can read it so easily in the twists of his memories. To Nash, Cheri is an intelligent young woman capable of leadership and Reave is still a boy who needs guidance. It’s a pity he hadn’t stopped long enough to learn that Reave hasn’t been that boy for a very, very long time.

Perhaps he should feel angry, but instead a strange sort of calm settles over him as a sharp clarity drives him forward.

The Freyr might imagine Aela had hooked her scheming claws into Reave to draw him in, but his imagination is lacking. Reave hadn’t needed her claws. Not when he has a set of his own.

He nearly does laugh when Nashua pries with a low, biting voice. He refrains only because he knows the pegasus would interpret it badly, but he can’t quite suppress the glitter in his gaze. Shoving the suspicious demand aside, Reave instead turns the accusation right back onto Nashua. “Why did you never ask me?” He lifts his head, his own voice low, almost casual. But there is nothing casual about the question. “You know what I can do. Your mate even came to find me when your son was stolen.” He pauses, gaze sharpening. “And yet, you never did. Why is that, I wonder?”

He is quite curious what excuse his brother might give. If Nash wanted to accuse him of deliberately withholding information, Reave has few qualms about returning the favor.

reave

@Nashua

[Nashua]

Nash is very much their mother's son; in the way that he doesn't put one over the other. Cheri occupies a piece of his heart - perhaps made tender in the absence of her missing father - just as Reave did. But the young Guardian is right in the sense that he sees him as still an untried youth. Nashua had made the mistake of thinking that the brother who took command in Nerine would be similar to Yanhua.

He had made the mistake of thinking that amidst all the chaos that had entered his life, Reave would remain steady.

The Freyr thought he could trust this brother.

Could he?

"Because Noel went to you for help where it concerned Bolder," Nashua replied tersely to his youngest sibling. His pale mate had told him about the visit and as Nash tried to divide his time between the needs of the kingdom and the needs of family, he knew that he had over-extended himself. (Mazikeen's accusation still rings in his chestnut ears; he hadn't come back to Hyaline after Gale had told him about the children they were expecting.) Nash had trusted then - as he trusted this brother, as he (foolishly) thought Yanhua would always be in Taiga - that everything would be alright. That amidst all his other affairs, he had thought his family would remain steadfast.

And how wrong he's been.

"Because I trust you would tell me if you knew something more," he tells Reave. "Because you are my brother, and I have always trusted you." Nashua holds the glittering edge of the Seer's sharp gaze, prolonging the moment with a silent message: that if he really did know something, now would be the time to reveal it.

@Reave

[Reave]

i am the mace, the map, the fall and the high

If Reave had been born without all his power of sight and memory, it’s possible he may have grown to be the normal, steadfast stallion Nashua wished to see. But he had not been, and so he had been immersed in heartache - both his own and not - since he had taken his first breaths. That sort of introduction to the world would change any creature, especially a young and malleable one who had never experienced anything before.

He had been born into sorrow and grief and rage, and it has not abated. His recklessness is only one response to the fuel of that existence. But Nashua hadn’t bothered to learn that much about his youngest brother, so it comes as no surprise that he does not understand his actions now.

The older pegasus has excuses ready on his tongue, and if they had been anything else, perhaps Reave might have been able to keep the smirk on his lips and the laughter on his tongue. Instead whatever good humor might have been lingering dissipates like sea-spray on Nerine’s cliffs, the vibrant blue of his gaze settling into something fiercely cold.

“So you assume I am able to pull knowledge from thin air then?” he bites out acerbically, unable to keep his tongue in check. “Or that I do not have troubles of my own to handle?” Though it shouldn’t be, it is a punch to the gut that his own brother knows so little of his gifts that he thinks he could just miraculously pull news from nothing. Even Aela, in her arrogance, had never assumed so much. So what did that say of Nashua’s arrogance?

“Since it seems to have escaped your notice,” he continues, voice as chilly as his eyes, “I cannot, in fact, find something from nothing.” He pauses, legs still for once. The stoniness of his features hides the hurt his brother had unintentionally inflicted. “I couldn’t have known about your son until your mate asked because I needed her connection to him.”

“As for Yanhua.” His voice grows low, though it cannot hide the razor edge to it. “Your connection is far stronger to him than mine. I assumed - wrongly, I guess - that if you wanted to know more, you would have asked.” Reave grits his teeth, eyes flashing. His brother sought to upbraid him, but Reave is not so easily taken to task. “Could I have found him without you? Not easily, but yes. But he is your priority, not mine. Why the hell would I waste my energy when I had more important things to do, like ensuring the fucking future of the North?”

reave

@Nashua

[Nashua]

Nashua chooses to see a steadfast stallion because that is what he needs. The North would act as one, or everything that Leilan and Lilliana and Neverwhere had tried to build would have been for nothing. And that is something that the Freyr is so tired of; there is too much struggle and strife for it to mean nothing. Their predecessors gave them a foundation to build upon and Nash intends to use it to make the North stronger than it had ever been before.

But that dream had started when Reave had been small - before he had taken the title of Guardian - and it had always been a dream that Nashua had shared with Yanhua. It had never occurred to Nash that there might come a time when his brother would no longer be in Taiga; his devotion to that forest had been deeply-rooted and renowned throughout Beqanna.  While he (truthfully) knows little about the ability that Reave shares with many of their kin, Nash had always assumed that his younger brother would have used to aid their family.

He had, Nash knew.  He had used to locate Bolder because Noel had asked and while the striped pegasus hadn't made the journey to Nerine himself, Nashua had thought it the end of the discussion. His son was a shifter - and so therefore by the rules of the Pack - safe for the time being. His pale mate had been granted permission to visit their youngest and Nashua had understood that his presence could have endangered their son.

If there had been more to the story, Nashua had thought that his brother would have said so.

"Perhaps it has escaped your notice," Nash bites back to his younger sibling. "But I can only be in so many places at once. I am not a Magician, like Leilan, nor do I have the ability of foresight, like you. Noel came to you because I could not." His temper flares and the only way to quell it is by looking away from Reave, by schooling his expression towards the churning sea. "Which is why we will move the kingdom seat to Nerine, because it poses too much of a risk to keep it on the Isle."

Because Nashua is only mortal, and while Leilan's portals have granted him some reprieve from his near-constant oceanic flights from Taiga to the Isle, it is not a long-term solution. That would only come from restoring the Northern seat back to Nerine, where it was shielded by the mighty Taiga and defended by the brisk Isle. That would only work if the three territories could work together, and that would only work if the three leaders trusted each other.

Reave continues to growl back at him - retort after retort - and Nashua inhales deeply, refraining from turning his temper on his younger brother. It nearly works, until the Guardian mentions that it had been him who had been concerned about the welfare of the North. As if Nashua hadn't done his part to keep their borders protected and their home quiet. As if his endless patrols amounted to nothing, as if the sacrifices that Noel and their children had endured had meant nothing.

"Because he is your fucking brother, too." He finally snaps back and turns his sharp gaze back on Reave. "Because if it had been you who went missing," Nashua continues, absolutely certain of Yan in this as he is of himself, "we wouldn't have stopped tearing this fucking place apart until we learned what happened to you. Because you, like him and the rest of the North, are my fucking priority or we wouldn't be having this conversation."

@Reave

[Reave]

i am the mace, the map, the fall and the high

He deflects at first, his brother. Reave doesn’t bother to justify it with an answer. Of course he had known Nashua could not be everywhere at once, nor would he have expected him to. Instead Nash chooses to focus on the example Reave had provided. He hadn’t faulted him for allowing Noel to come to him. He’s hardly an idiot.

But that doesn’t change the fact that Nashua could have come to him long before now. Could have fostered a sharing of information. He hadn’t shared his plans for the North with Reave until now, but if he had come to him at the very beginning, Reave would have done the same. He had already told the Freyr he is not all-powerful or all-seeing. That he could not pull something from nothing. He would not repeat himself if Nashua chose not to listen the first time.

Instead he shakes his head and barks out a humorless laugh. He can’t quite hide the bitterness of the disappointment on his tongue. He doesn’t even try to.

He is ready to end this conversation when the pegasus snaps back, spiteful accusation on his tongue. Reave’s eyes flash with fire, and he finds that the well of anger inside him is far from dry. The bone-armored stallion doesn’t even try to temper his tone when he bites out, “Just like Aela is also your sister?” His voice is forceful and low. Uncompromising. If Nashua wants to throw his faults at him, Reave will hold up the mirror. “Would you tear everything apart if she went missing?”

It’s a rhetorical question of course. He already knows his brother would not. It’s then that Rune shrieks overhead. After a moment, Reave sucks in a sharp breath, doing his best to restrain the temper that writhes for freedom. Reave’s motives might be questionable, but his companion’s timely interruption reminds him he does actually care. “I had no reason to believe Yanhua hadn’t disappeared of his own volition at first.” His blue eyes are fever bright as he fixes them on Nash. “It’s not like he ever confided in me either.” He pauses. “Considering his own daughter didn’t seem terribly worried about his disappearance, why would I be?” He grimaces then before turning. He wouldn’t stay if Nashua was only going to continue berating him. “A visit from you might have revealed the nefarious circumstances of his disappearance much earlier. That’s all I was trying to say.”

After taking a few steps towards the water, Reave pauses to look back. All anger has fled his voice now, leaving only pained disillusionment. “I trusted you to do what was right. But it seems you can’t even offer me the same.”

reave

@Nashua