"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
You've got a heart as loud as lions, so why let your voice be tamed?
So Sylva is kind of unbelievably perfect. Cool and crisp and cozy with early winter, weather that invites a girl to get all up close and snuggly with her man, spending the ever-lengthening nights tangled up in him, nose burrowed into him for warmth. One of the perks of being pretty tiny compared to my Rhory is I can steal all the body heat I want and he never complains. Not that complaining is his style, really. More sort of awed cuddles and touches and oh he does this cute thing where he rests his head against my belly and talks to the baby, even though I’m not even showing yet. I remember what it was like last time, and I recognize the changes in my body even if my shape’s still pretty much the same.
Whatever, anyhow. Sylva. Perfect. I’m still not awesome at the making friends shit though. That side of things is coming along slowly. I’ve explored a ton though, and I did manage to find this cozy little nook tucked away in the forest, a spot where these huge old (you know, as old as anything is in this newborn land, but they look old, and they feel it too somehow) trees form a sort of shelter that’s quiet and private and just right. I’ve already coaxed Rhory to curl up there with me most nights, not that he needed a hell of a lot of coaxing. And I can just imagine a teeny tiny little one curled up right along with us, tucked up against his chest, or sprawling out all over us the way Anni used to do with me when she was little.
Maybe a little boy this time? God, Rhory’s gonna be a great dad. Hell, he already is and the kid’s nowhere near born yet. Aaaaand let’s just not think too hard about the bit where that changes and I have to shove please god just one kid out of my body and don’t have anyone to patch me back up after and just have to hope to fucking god everything goes alright and I don’t NEED someone to make me not bleed to death or save the kid or patch me back up after I tear myself open pushing a giant goddamn person out of my lady bits fuck - nope. Nope. Breathe.
Breathe.
Pull yourself together, Arrya.
Right. Focus. What was I thinking about? No, before the big scary part. Oh, right, yeah. Making nice with the locals. It’s slow going, and probably I should try to do something about that before I’m waddling through snow drifts or some shit, yeah? Oh god it’s going to be cold. I mean, it’s already a little cold. Not quite enough to make me shiver, but enough that I’m already plotting to drag Rhory back into our cozy little nook and snuggle with him ‘til I forget it’s not summer anymore. Well, okay, fall. Summer was nice and all, but that was before things got all hot and interesting. Much better to pick after, and get so cozy warm I trick myself into believing it’s still the middle of fall.
Anyfuckinghow. God damn. Wandering the forest and shit. I try to keep the stomping to a minimum, to not jostle the poor little moonbeam - shut up, it’s not that lame. Okay, fine, it’s sappy as fuck, but nobody knows it but me. Whatever, I’m keeping the goddamn stomping to a minimum because I’m a good mom okay? And as such I can call my kid a squishy, sappy, hopelessly ridiculous nickname if I damn well want. Fuck off.
Exploring. NOT stomping. Hoping for some reason I’ve already forgotten that I encounter other residents or some shit? Oh fuck me, right, I was supposed to be making friends. Sorry, moonbeam. Mommy’s gonna work on that. Holy shit somehow. Another deep breath. Aaaand another one. Okay. And I am walking calmly through the forest, definitely not stomping and equally definitely not like half a second away from snapping at and/or throwing a whole lot of attitude at my nice, wholesome new neighbors.
I’m so fucked.
You've got the light to fight the shadows, so stop hiding it away.
She looked lost in thought, and he had a mind to let her stay that way. It was amusing to watch the different expressions flicker across her face, and the fire in her eye flare up at various angry thoughts. Such a prickly, prickly little badger, he thought with a quiet chuckle, shaking his head.
With a mischievous grin, he stalked up and nipped at her rump. That ought to get her attention.
He'd been away for a while, at least a week. With a young filly at his side, he'd returned long enough to stuff her in a bush and head back out, with orders to stay put which of course she hadn't done. Feisty child. Now Josie was here as well, with his child growing within her swollen belly. He'd attempted to get them settled and left them to get acquainted with each other while he sought out his snappy badger-friend. The only person he knew here, even.
Had I taken any longer, I think you may have begun talking to yourself. I have rescued you from madness, it seems. Do I get a reward?
He smirked and tried to play innocent, the taste of her coat on his teeth.
11-07-2016, 08:55 PM (This post was last modified: 11-07-2016, 08:55 PM by Arrya.)
You've got a heart as loud as lions, so why let your voice be tamed?
I didn’t hear him coming. Probably should’ve, what with those great big clompy feet of his, but I might have been slightly distracted - just slightly, mind - reminding myself not to stomp around too hard for baby’s sake, and also trying to work up the nerve to go find someone to talk to. Well someone to talk to wandered right up and bit me on the ass, the son of a bitch, so I pinned my ears and bit him right back. And a hell of a lot harder, too; I’ve got no problem with the idea of drawing blood when the smartass decided to say hello with teeth to my rear end.
I turn to glare at him, ears still flat against my neck even if he does have this ridiculous smirk on his face, looking all satisfied that he’d managed to catch me unawares. I fucking hoped he was bleeding, the ass. “The only reward you get is my teeth, precious.” If I’d started talking to anyone, it would’ve been the baby, and kid damn well deserved a bit of conversation. Must be boring as hell curled up in the dark and the wet and the squick. And you had better not have anybody keeping you company, baby. One. You get to be one this time. So it’d probably get lonely too.
Oh!
A little flutter in my belly distracts me from my perfectly justified rage, and I can feel my eyes going wiiiide, and this big, dopey grin erasing the scowl from my face. Well hello there, little moonbeam. Ohhh it took me a while to figure out what that was the first time around, but this time I recognize the strange sensation of something else, something still very small, stirring inside me. I don’t even notice the light dancing around me, auroras shimmering and swaying just over my skin, flickering patterns of rainbow colors lighting up as the light remembers me and comes home to welcome my baby to its first little hints of life.
“The baby moved,” I whisper, my voice so much softer than it had been only a moment ago. And I look up at Kade, his egregious transgression forgotten. “That’s the first time I’ve felt it. Ohhh it’s really there.” Not that I’d doubted it, exactly, but it was one thing to tell Rhory that yep, I knew all these feelings, and I was definitely for sure pregnant, and a whole other thing entirely to be able to tell him I felt our little bitty someone move and ohhh it was really, really real. Mommy loves you, tiny twinkle star. Shut up, it’s no worse than moonbeam.
You've got the light to fight the shadows, so stop hiding it away.
She spun around and sank her teeth into him. He'd expected it, of course. He was a born warrior, after all. But he held there, gladly accepted his punishment for having a taste of her.
It was worth it.
He didn't even try to mask the smirk still plastered to his face. She retorted her sharp barbs at him. He'd grown to expect them, and apparently even to seek them out. Pain was something he knew well, the most familiar thing he could find since washing ashore in Beqanna. She was the only one that would deliver it to him without hesitation. Like a vaccine, she injected the soldier back into him, boosted the man to what he'd been raised to be. This was who he was.
And so when she went all soft in the face again, he only stood there as if waiting for instruction; waiting, watching. But no one commanded him now.
Sparkles of light burned into existence all around her, claiming the air she warmed with her presence. The colors danced, and he stood still in his shock. Confusion and something else, fear for her, warped his senses. It took all his will to stay in place, not to ram her to the side and somehow confront this magic. His mouth was dry, his eyes a little wider. They hadn't harmed her yet, see? No damage, no pain. She was not even aware of them. Don't touch her.
He forced himself to breath, still tensed and ready to leap to her side. She whispered, her voice filled with love and awe. For some reason it hurt, hurt like hell. Perhaps it reminded him of something from the past, he wasn't sure. All he felt was pain and regret as she looked up to meet his eyes. He held her gaze only long enough for her to finish telling him she had felt her baby within her move with life, then his eyes slid to the ground a moment, then away.
Whatever this was, whatever was wrong with him, he needed to get it under control. He was the guardian. This was not the pain he was meant to endure, trained to ignore. He didn't even know where it came from, why it had come now. He wouldn't dare ruin what was clearly one of her happiest moments.
With effort, he formed the warrior's face he had once worn so easily. Emotionless eyes, hard lines and severe brows. Brown gaze finally returned to her. Like a goddess, the world had lit at her pleasure. She was yet another Untouchable. Unreachable. He was meant to protect ones like her, at all costs. The worthy, the precious. She'd hidden herself behind a sharp and clever tongue, but he knew her now.
Congratulations, he said solemnly, bowing his head to her not for the first time. She was a friend to him. A rare thing indeed for the likes of him.
He couldn't make sense of it. Here she stood before him, with love and joy, and he felt like he'd lost his only friend. He smiled easily, despite the perplexing emotions rolling through him without logic.
I guess I understand what you mean now. About the light. He held her gaze. They seemed to do that a lot, meet stare for stare like they still challenged the other to do something out of turn. Things he seemed to do regardless of a challenge or not.
Do you feel anything now? he asked, breaking the eye contact to watch the tightened skin at her sides. Maybe if she felt it again, he'd be able to see the movement too, and share her little moment.
You've got a heart as loud as lions, so why let your voice be tamed?
The baby moved. Yeah, okay, it’s a fucking weird feeling, like some kind of little alien tickling my insides, fluttering and tumbling and just weird, but there’s a bizarre kind of magic to it. To the rush of love that washes over me, to the ridiculously beatific smile on my face, or the way I just want to snuggle up with Rhory and be cozy and close and hear him murmuring hello to our little one. Oh, everything’s perfect! We have a home, we have a baby on the way, I haven’t felt this damn good in a long time.
Except Kade looks...off. Tense, not really looking right at me, just...off. I cock my head, and I’m about to ask him what the hell’s up when he bows his head and congratulates me, then he’s all eye contact and smiles and confusing. “Huh?” The ligh--my eyes go wide as I finally notice what he’s talking about. “Holy shit!” And then I’m grinning from ear to ear, reaching for the light and coaxing it into a quieter, gentler glow. “Yeah, that’s what I was talking about,” I murmur, gathering it all up into a soft orb of light that pulses gently in time with my heartbeat. “Oh, hello there, love. I’ve missed you so much.” I rubbed my cheek against the orb that was just solid enough to be tangible, warm and cozy and a little bit squishy, but it’d give under too much pressure. Then I looked back at Kade, who was still watching me intently.
“What?” I look down at myself, checking to make sure I’m not covered in something. Mud? Did I sneeze and manage to cover myself in snot and I just didn’t notice? Nope. Ah, but then he’s asking about the baby. And the little one flutters again at his question, like it’s saying hello. “Yeah, actually. Baby’s doing backflips or something.” His eyes drift to my belly, and I grin. “Too tiny yet to see it on the outside. Little moonbeam’s just a teeny thing, but give it a few months and you’ll see hooves trying to kick their way out of my sides.”
Ah hell. I try really hard not to duck my head and blush and mumble some kinda explanation to cover that squishy little nickname. Maybe he won’t notice. Except my eyes definitely went really wide when I realized what I said; when I notice, I narrow them at him immediately. One word, and I’ll sink my teeth into him again. One word, princess.
You've got the light to fight the shadows, so stop hiding it away.
He watched intently as she gathered her light into a glowing ball, tense and wary but trusting. She clearly knew what she was doing, and was obviously not afraid of it. It was the foreigness of it that put him on edge, but something easily accepted as normal and dismissed. With a little more experience, anyway.
She spoke to her magic orb as it seemed to throb with its own heartbeat. Perhaps it was a living thing in some way.
Again, his expression softened as she spoke about her child tossing about within her. He couldn't imagine what that felt like, having a tiny person growing inside you, moving on its own. She noticed his eyes fall to her belly, and explained it was too small yet for him to see. He felt oddly disappointed, but smirked at the pet name she'd already given it. Moonbeam. Here she was this fierce and mighty woman, and her growing babe was a moonbeam.
Moonbeam? he teased lightly, ignoring the threat in her eyes. She really was far too entertaining to be around at times. He chuckled, but let it fade away. He should return to his.. family? Well, not exactly, but they were under his protection and he had a duty to them.
I should check in on Josie, he said a little reluctantly. He wasn't sure why, but his gaze lowered to her sides again. Josie was pregnant too. They'd probably birth near the same day. Brown eyes raised to hers once again, and a lazy smile softened his face.
