[open] I will be your sword and shield; any

[lilliana]

She had agonized over that decision. It had haunted her waking thoughts and prevented her from sleeping at night, staying at the back of her mind where it had been planted. Lilli can’t remember when the thought had first come to her, only that it had been left to fester and linger as she tried her best to proceed with her day to day life, while she attempted to pretend that everything was okay and life continued in an endless cycle as always. She had smiled and laughed, had tossed her pretty head to the wind and tried to pretend that the troubles that had settled around them didn’t bother her.

It has always been her role to be a distraction. When her siblings fought, it was Lilli who listened and smiled and did what she could to distract them from their problems. She did this until the tempers paled and passed and the inevitable confrontation could proceed without all the flying anger and hurling hurtful words back and forth. When her silver mother, who was so prone to worry needed to be uplifted, Lilli would smile and beg for a story or a visit with one of the other residents of Murmuring Rivers. Lilli did what she could to try and take the pain away, even if it was only for a little while.

But now there is no one to distract. There is only Lilli and these thoughts, the “what ifs” have replaced that what was and what had been. The chestnut knows she could have gone with her parents but that had seemed wrong; they had served a lifetime of duty. It was their time to explore and enjoy the time they had left to them. It had been time for them to be together when so many things had spent almost a decade trying to keep them apart. Malachi had Kalina and together they had their children, a whole family together. Jay had his studies as a future storyteller and shaman; Brielle was the warrioress, a fierce Amazon in the making. They were all spread across the different realms, in different places and something in Lilli had told her that it was her time.

She could have stayed; Malachi had wanted her too. He had been so angry with her when she announced that she would be leaving. But without Elaina and with her first taste of regret and disappointment still fresh in her mind, Lilli had only wanted a chance to start over.

So here it was. Here was her chance to start over. She can’t change what was. She knows that as much as she might fervently wish that things might have been different, she is left with the facts. Broch stepped on to a battlefield and then never stepped off it. Culloden fell. Her family became displaced. And Lilli knew that she couldn’t do it again – couldn’t try to call another place home, let somebody else in that would eventually leave in the end. So this time, this time she decided to leave. But the lesson she is learning is that the act of leaving doesn’t hurt any less than being left behind.

She is almost desperate for conversation at this point. Lilli has never been one for silence and solitude. The crimson girl has already encountered so many types in Beqanna. She has been met with harsh words, no words and like the sun breaking through the clouds, sometimes a kind word is sent Lilli’s way and it lights her up. When she approaches Brazen, she is slightly guarded, preparing to either be outright dismissed or ignored. Or worse, to have an onslaught of angry words thrown at her. Instead, the voice that echoes back at her is bright, friendly and Lilli thrives on it, every feature on her refined face coming alive with happiness. The young mare smiles back at Brazen, ”A happy coincidence then.”

The bone armor might be discerning to some but Lilli is not some. She has always been intrigued, awed by the difference because she is so ordinary. She can see the warmth of Brazen’s features and something in Lilli smiles internally, relief flooding through her. Finally, she thinks, a friendly face in a sea of strange ones. ”Please,” the chestnut mare replies back. ”Even if I knew where I was going, I can’t make top or bottom of this place. The only thing I know is a place called the Dale.” She sighs and gives a gentle shake to the head, chasing away the few unpleasant encounters shes had. ”I know the Dale doesn’t exist anymore. But I was hoping that there might be a piece of it left somewhere.” Lilli, always the dreamer, thinks that if she can see a piece of this place, it might bring some understanding of what her ancestors had thought when they called this place home, that it might bring some validity to their lives.

”I like interesting,” the young mare grins back at Brazen. ”The world would certainly be a dull place without it.”

@[Brazen]