your skin tastes of gorse flowers; vulgaris

[leliana]

She would keep them in this cocoon forever if she could.

She would wrap them in the soft fabrics of forever; she would shut out the rest of the world and not lose sleep for a moment. All she wants is the wine of his breath against the curve of his neck and the feel of his pitter-patter heartbeat and the knowledge that within his embrace, she is safe—they are safe.

But she knows that they cannot be like this forever.

He is still a fighter at his core and she has a crown impossibly on her brow. They have family and a kingdom and people to whom they must answer. There is a world that will always crook its finger.

But not for now—for now, it is just them and they are together and the rest doesn’t matter.

He suggests the river and there is a spark of fireflies in her eyes. There is a moment of sunrises there behind her lashes and she sweeps them down as a pleased smile curves her crimson lips. Of course he would know the place that she most wants to go. Of course he would know just what to say.

She doesn’t even need to agree; she simply angles her head, curving her body by his side and then begins to walk. Dusk begins to fall around them and she glances up at the sky. With a biting of her lip, she throws up a million stars and then lets them rain down softly around them and the other partygoers. It is sparkling lights that twinkle in and out of oblivion—never touching, just raining down quietly.

When they reach the river, the water feels like home.

Leliana glances up at him out of the corner of her eye and then glances back down, her flower-laden hair curtaining her face as she feels a sudden wave of bashfulness sweep through her.

it's only you and me there until the darkness calls
let's face the dawn together; we'll brave whatever comes

@[vulgaris]

[vulgaris]

V u l g a r i S

Perhaps they knew each other before time began, when all was just glimmering dust carried on cosmic winds. Maybe they were neighboring stars that yearned for one another until their novae ripped them apart once more. Now that dust has settled into bones and lips and hummingbird hearts that beat for one another. Every tiny cell within him sings for hers and rejoices in their reunion every time their bodies meet again. With a love like this, it’s no wonder their children are each so beautiful and perfect in their own ways.

He silently wonders what sort of baby they’ll have come spring but he says nothing to her of it. All that is certain is he will love each member of their brood and that is all he needs to know. The stars reflect across the surface of the quiet river when he kisses softly at her temple. With their sides pressed tight like this, he wonders if he’s only imagining the kicking of half-developed hooves within her belly. Each fall and winter gives him a restless feeling in his stomach as he watches her body go through the changes of pregnancy.

Will he ever deserve a family so wonderful as this?

“I wish you knew how beautiful you are to me,” he says as he delicately places another kiss behind her ear. He laughs softly at how shy she becomes but he doesn’t mention it as he leans his neck over hers in a loose embrace.

Hours, days could pass in quiet bliss like this and he might never notice it. Listening to the quiet murmurs of the river and feeling her warmth against his is the closest he has ever known to true peace. Vulgaris remembers how he first met her here, how Sabbath was born here. All the memories give him chills when he reflects upon them, anointing him with gratitude for everything she has shared with him.

“I would be impossibly lost without you.”

He closes his eyes and sighs slowly with a smile across his face.

In this shook-up, twisted world, I'm gradually growing transparent and vanishing
Don’t look for me; don't look at me

@[leliana]

[leliana]

She would believe it if he told her.

She would say that something within her would always know the outline of him; there’s something within her that recognizes the call of his heart—that recognizes the substance of him. She just smiles as he pulls her close and gladly gold into the curve of his embrace, knowing the peace and the security that is now found there. She knows that this, more than any land or any place, is her home; maybe it always was.

“I wish you knew how much I love you,” she counters, feeling the warmth of his lips lasting longer after they leave the delicate skin. She angles her head back and studies his eyes, memorizing the angles and planes of his face, and finding that even the newness of him—stripped of his fang and scale—he is still the man that she has always known. None of that mattered. She had always been able to see this anyway.

She smiles again, all rainwater and fresh springs, before planting a kiss on the corner of his mouth and laughing, the sound silver bells. “Then it is a good thing that I found you.” Her face grows only a touch more somber, the seriousness of what she is about to say causing her lips to still.

“I will always find you, Vulgaris,” she promises. “I would search every corner of the heavens.”

She would look for him in his darkest shadows and pull him from the depths of hell. She would pull herself apart and swallow the ocean into her belly. She would sacrifice it all until she found him.

“But let’s focus on the good tonight.”

That same mischievous glint touches the hazel of her eyes—the look that only he knows—and she laughs softly. “After all, spring is around the corner and we have to give our children some siblings.”

One corner of her mouth lifts and then she laughs, sighing with contentment as she angles her body to curl against his side, pressing her cheek into the muscular curve of his neck and relaxing into it.

it's only you and me there until the darkness calls
let's face the dawn together; we'll brave whatever comes

@[vulgaris]

[vulgaris]

V u l g a r i S

Sometimes he tries to remember being young, being so full of hate and disgust with the world that he could hardly see past it. It used to cloud his eyes and drove him to hurt the ones he loved best. All that dark shaped him into a cruel, crooked thing sick with its own wicked bile. Back then, did he ever hope for something better or was he content? Did he ever dream of reaching where he is today? Those years were eternal night and he can’t imagine such a hopeless boy could feel destiny pulling him closer to her with each passing day. From the deepest pits of despair, he crawled his way into the lap of a goddess.

He laughs softly at how far he’s come but he doesn’t bother explaining why. Instead, Vulgaris opens those tired sage eyes and briefly narrows them as she speaks.

“I know it’s not half as much as I care for you,” he quips, lifting his chin briefly as he delivers the words very matter-of-factly. When he smiles, he briefly forgets the way his lips felt against pointed teeth or how the scales felt when they shifted across his face. Some day he’ll struggle to recall those sensations at all. But when she speaks again, his face grows serious yet soft, the corners of his lips still curled into a warm grin.

Vulgaris leans his head over her as she nestles close to him, still laughing at her own flirtations as his cheeks begin to ache from smiling so much. His face isn’t used to all this yet. “Some day this world will be nothing but our children and grandchildren, I think,” he says with another laugh. In truth, his love for her grows exponentially with each additional to their family. He thought his adoration had a ceiling but it just keeps finding room within his heart and soul. Now, it fills every nook and cranny like a perfect peach light that smells like summer and honeysuckles. It hums like a thriving hive of bees all working in perfect harmony.

“You are the love of my life, Leliana. You are my everything,” he mumbles as he lips at her ear.

In this shook-up, twisted world, I'm gradually growing transparent and vanishing
Don’t look for me; don't look at me

@[leliana]

[leliana]

Leliana’s heart has morphed so much over the years that she can barely recognize it anymore. For a while, it made her feel like she was losing herself—like she was somehow different or not better. She was not the shy, young girl who walked through crowds to extend a healing hand; she was not the quiet sister who watched the wildfire that is Exist rage across Tephra. She was merely a background player in her own life. Kind and sweet and so easily molded by the pain that she found herself drowning in before long.

She is no longer that young girl.

Her heart is a fortified thing—powerful in its ability to resurrect itself—and she does not resign herself to being a shadow any longer. She feels a confidence that she has never known. Confidence that she so often chalks up to her magic, a gift that feels more blessing than curse now that they have learned to coexist alongside one another. It strengthens her and she softens it and the work they do now is good—so good.

But still, it can be difficult to glance down in the mirror’s edge of a lake and not know the face.

It can be difficult to struggle to find the beginning when so wrapped in the middle.

But nothing about this moment now is difficult. Nothing about him is unfamiliar. Even stripped of his scale and his fang, she knows the curve of his neck and the sweetness of his mouth. She knows what it means to be pressed to his side and feel the rumble of his laughter build in his chest. She knows, and she loves him all the more for how he has had to fight to reach this stability within him—this peace.

“I do not think a world of our children would be such a bad thing,” she muses, thinking on all of their beautiful children. “I do hope that one day we will bring them all back to us. I want nothing more than to be surrounded by our children and our grandchildren and the generations after that. To watch then smile and laugh and know that they are safe.” A single tear escapes to fall down her cheek as she imagines such a future and she wipes it on his broad shoulder. “I miss them terribly, Vulgaris. Adna and Sabbath and…”

Her voice trails off and she gives him a weak smile, knowing the reason they are gone is her.

it's only you and me there until the darkness calls
let's face the dawn together; we'll brave whatever comes

@[vulgaris]

[vulgaris]

V u l g a r i S

How strange, for the main character of his life to become someone else. But his every emotion and choice hinges entirely on her as he simply waits to see what direction she moves next. Sometimes he holds his breath because it’s become so easy to choke on his love for her. She has blossomed into something greater than he has ever known and it makes him feel so small to stand beside someone as strong and beautiful as her. Long before she was queen of Tephra, she was the queen of his whole heart and he didn’t know how to yield that power to her.

Now, he doesn’t know how he existed without giving it to her.

He nods when she says a world of their young wouldn’t be so bad, smiling softly at the idea of it. Each of their sons and daughters are so wildly different and gorgeous that an entire nation of them would spell out paradise. His heart could burst with his adoration for each one, he thinks, and yet it somehow hangs on.

“I’ll find every one of our girls and bring them home to you, if it would make you happy,” he says softly as he offers her a reassuringly nuzzle to her cheek to dry the tear from her face. “Our daughters are strong, Leli. They got that from you and that’s how I know they’re alright.”

Deep down, he blames himself for their daughters not venturing to Tephra. How could Adna ever forgive him after she saw into the depths of his cruelty? How could Sabbath trust him when everything he had promised her had fallen apart right before her eyes? Malca and Linnea saw how the war tore their family apart and he couldn’t blame them if they never looked back. But, for Leliana, he knows he would stare into the face of his every crime and beg for forgiveness. He would work until his dying breath to right his wrongs and make their family whole once more.

“I’ll leave for Loess tomorrow morning to find Sabbath and Adna. I’ve hurt them the most, and it’s time I owned up to it.”

He brushes her forelock from her face and places a delicate kiss between her eyes. The enormity of his love would always engulf the gravity of his shame.

In this shook-up, twisted world, I'm gradually growing transparent and vanishing
Don’t look for me; don't look at me

@[leliana]