05-13-2019, 08:49 PM
VulgariS
" i could be ugly in loving you. filthy and soft-mouthed. wolf-tongued and terrible.
i could carry my heart in my mouth like a bird dog to you, so gently i wouldn’t leave a mark. "
i could carry my heart in my mouth like a bird dog to you, so gently i wouldn’t leave a mark. "
He remembers the fear he felt in his chest when Adna was born – the fear of how he would do as a father, as a provider, as a mentor. Vulgaris loved her the moment she opened her eyes and his fears paled to nothing once he kissed her face for the first time. She became his world and instead of promising to set fire to the world if she only asked, he pledged to put them out so she might have a better life than he did. But he didn’t, did he? He threw gasoline on everything and laughed when he dropped the match.
His breath shudders from his lungs when he sees her creeping over the borders and into Loess. There is only one thing that could bring her home at a time like this. He’s seen her, swollen stomach and teeth on edge. He didn’t know how best to approach her so he waited. Now, he can’t bear the thought of not being there for her and so he leaves the twins napping in a bundle together. His legs carry him quickly to her but he keeps his distance as she labors. He wants to kiss her face again and tell her that everything will be okay.
But those words have lost meaning between him, even if he means it this time. Even if he will sacrifice what little of him is left to keep her and her siblings safe.
He recognizes the shades of gold across their newborn bodies but he decides that it’s none of his business when he finally slinks from the shadows. It stopped being any of his concern when he failed her, he supposes.
He lowers his head and kisses her face gently, brushing her forelock from her eyes as he presses tight to her cheek. “They’re beautiful, Adna. They’re so lucky to have you as their mother,” he whispers softly as he lifts his head once more. Four newborn babies for him to guard, he thinks to himself. Two girls and two boys. The thought alone exhausts him but makes his heart runneth over.
A part of him wishes his own parents were alive to see this moment. Dillan would cry tears of joy to see her family grow so much in one year and fawn over them incessantly. Imagining her here brings a smile to his lips for the first time in what feels like decades.
