and let me crawl inside your veins. I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain.
Her lips rub almost mindlessly against the scales across his chest, feeling the texture of them. When he touches the sensitive skin behind her ear she can feel herself begin to tremble, and that strange warmth that only he can conjure begins to spread the length of her body. Everyone has always been just a game to her. They are entertainment, a way to pass the time. She doesn’t let them touch her the way he does, and even if they did, they would never be able to break past the barriers she has erected. Layers upon layers that she has crafted, that she lets him and only him peel away just a bit more every day.
But his question causes her to still, and she suddenly withdraws from him. She remains beneath his wing, but she shifts until their sides no longer touch. She knew nothing of family. She had spent her childhood chasing a mother that wanted nothing to do with her, she has never known who her father was, and even though she had countless relatives on her mother’s side, she has never met nor cared to meet them.
Ophanim was all she has ever had, even though she treats him like an afterthought.
“I...I don’t think I know how to do that.” She doesn’t know how she could ever be a mother when she wasn’t raised by one. She doesn’t know if maybe it’s just how her family is; maybe she is just like Starlust, and she would treat her children exactly the way that she had been treated, and in turn, the way she sometimes treats Ophanim —usually absent, and yet greedy for love and approval, but reluctant to return it.
But she knows him, and she knows that answer will destroy him. That almost rejection, the uncertainty in her voice. His thoughts are racing, so fast that she almost can’t read them, but she can see the expectant and hopeful way that he is looking at her. “But if I had to try and figure it out with anyone,” The words are slow as they leave her lips, her dark blue eyes leveling with his in a rare moment of sincerity as she continues quietly, “I would want it to be with you.” She leans back into him, her glowing side fitting like a puzzle piece against his. With her cheek pressed into the tendrils of his mane, he cannot see the worry that has slowly begun to creep into the lines of her face, as she once again is reminded of how unworthy she is of him. She had no doubt that he would make a wonderful father; he could have a perfect family, but instead she has tethered him to her.
starsin
it’s not like me to be so mean. you’re all I wanted.
( just let me hold you Like a hostage. )
