I’m still waking every morning but it’s not with you, Leilan

[Chryseis]

you were a vision in the morning
when the light came through,
i know i've only felt religion
when i've lied with you
and i'm still waking every morning
but it's not with you

.

There is a part of her that knew her father would get mad. He had warned her not once, but several times, to not go searching for kelpies on her own. There was also a part of her that suffered from the misconception that he could never get too mad at her. She was his baby girl, the first born; how could he possibly stay mad at her when she looked up at him with doe-eyes and long lashes, and now with blood dripping from her nose and mouth? She was cute, and sick. The perfect recipe for softening him up.

It turns out he could, in fact, still get pretty mad.

The more she talks, the colder she can see him growing, his gaze hardening until it is ice as he glares at her. By the time she is finished, the tension that has built between them is so thick she nearly chokes on it. The way he says Ivar is her first hint that she has done something wrong; not being bitten, necessarily, but the fact that she told her father about it. Her own muscles draw tightly underneath her blue roan coat, clenching her jaw until she fears her teeth might crack in an effort to keep from interrupting her father’s tirade. There is a moment of heavy silence once he has finished, her dark brown eyes smoldering when they capture his own.

”First of all,” Her tone is taut, making every effort to not disrespect him in her attempt to explain her side, even though the muscles in her shoulders are trembling. ”I am no ones broodmare, or herdmare, and that wasn’t either of their intentions. Ivar is just a friend. He never tried to do anything to me, or get me to go anywhere.” She takes a steadying breath, then, trying to figure the best tactic to describe Rhaegor. ”And Rhaegor isn’t like that. He is one of my best friends, we grew up in Hyaline together. He is Kagerus and Solace’s son, and he is not with twenty other girls.” There is an indignant toss of her head, her eyes narrowing at her father as she says this. She was the only one allowed to be suspicious of Rhaegor — if anyone else tried to say anything negative about him, she would adamantly defend him. ”I never brought him to you because I didn’t want you to be mean to him. You’re already accusing him of something and you haven’t even met him yet.”

There are so many words that remain unsaid, so many thoughts at war in her brain, but instead she falls silent. She knows to dispute his demand that she stay here or on the Isle would be useless, for now. Eventually, he would have to realize she was nearly an adult — and if her choices broke her heart or got her killed, she could be the only one to blame.

chryseis