this time I’m torn, please wake me if I lose that face
search in these eyes: there’s still fire in the darkness
Lace. And babe. He looked so confused and she sighed. He had to have chosen to forget the last time they were together, the way she looked at him when he made it clear it wasn't anything between them. The way she swallowed her damn useless pride and stumbled away in shame. Even the memory of that pain made her want to cry, how deeply it still hurt her.
He started stuttering out apologies, finally connecting something for himself in some way. Her eyes welled with tears and she lifted her stubborn chin. He didn't get to apologize and make it better. It wasn't okay. She wasn't okay. He hadn't really cared this whole time, only lived in his ignorance because it was so much easier than dealing with her stupid emotions.
"Stop."
He didn't have to apologize. He could've done that so long ago. And it was confusing as hell to hear him correct himself, call her by her full name instead of the one he'd carved into her skin for his pleasure. He even cut himself off from calling her Babe again. She sniffed, her heart breaking. She hated how stupid perfect he was, why did he have to do this now? Why did he have to look at her like that with his gorgeous silver eyes and his stupid beautiful face.
"It doesn't matter," she snapped, turning away from him and continuing to walk, make an escape, get some peace. "It's fine. It's in the past. Can't change it." She could've, it was offered to her, but she'd been stupid enough to choose not to. She just couldn't let it go, could she?
"There's no way you can make it right. Nobody can." She was all wrong, she always would be. Her heart hurt so damn much in her chest. All she'd ever wanted since Kali was to be good enough for him. Pretty enough. Funny enough. Just enough. But it was fine. She wasn't and never would be. She was trying to get through it, years later. She could get better someday.
Or she wouldn't and who would care anyway?
