11-10-2018, 11:26 PM
She almost laughed but it would have been without humor. To think that she could just wish him away with saying it aloud. If only that was a possibility, to whisk him away with all of her past and problems that he had brought with him. She has tried, believe it or not. She has said his name aloud enough times, cursing the heavens and wanting his touch to be erased from her mind, from her ability to remember.
She was terrified, not only that he might return, but that she would be stupid enough to fall for someone else like him.
She stills, realizing that maybe after all this time she wasn’t exactly terrified of him exactly. It was that she might make a wrong decision, that would affect her the rest of her life instead of just a short time. That this time she would make a wrong decision and it would hell for the rest of her like.
That this time it would kill her.
A piece of steel snaps itself into her spine. And then another one. A piece of her broken will comes back together. Whether he meant it or not Leilan had done that. And Eilidh. A long lingering glance on the mare as she spoke of the sky and the stars and darkness and Willa pauses some more.
“Aye, my Da would spend hours looking up at them.” She says softly. Leilans words permeating into her conscious and perhaps this time as she thinks through them again...she does laugh a little. There’s a noticeable difference in the way she stands, the muscles along her body unclenching just a little bit. Though her eyes still linger here and there amongst the shadows of the dark night, still looking the monsters that she had been terrorized by when she was with him.
“You don’t need to protect me.” She says after a moment. “Not...not that I don’t appreciate the offer.” A very small tiny smile that she doubts he can see in the night. “But I simply don’t trust you.” A small shrug of her shoulders, even as she unintentionally takes a step back. She doesn’t want to be afraid but she has been for so long.
If he were to erupt into a rage, at least it would be on her so the other mare could get away. That’s the thought that briefly runs through her mind even as she stubbornly sets her jaw. “But I would be okay with going with you to see the place you call home….either of you.” She says tilting her head to look back over at the quiet mare.
Which was about as big of a leap of faith as she could make right now.
She was terrified, not only that he might return, but that she would be stupid enough to fall for someone else like him.
She stills, realizing that maybe after all this time she wasn’t exactly terrified of him exactly. It was that she might make a wrong decision, that would affect her the rest of her life instead of just a short time. That this time she would make a wrong decision and it would hell for the rest of her like.
That this time it would kill her.
A piece of steel snaps itself into her spine. And then another one. A piece of her broken will comes back together. Whether he meant it or not Leilan had done that. And Eilidh. A long lingering glance on the mare as she spoke of the sky and the stars and darkness and Willa pauses some more.
“Aye, my Da would spend hours looking up at them.” She says softly. Leilans words permeating into her conscious and perhaps this time as she thinks through them again...she does laugh a little. There’s a noticeable difference in the way she stands, the muscles along her body unclenching just a little bit. Though her eyes still linger here and there amongst the shadows of the dark night, still looking the monsters that she had been terrorized by when she was with him.
“You don’t need to protect me.” She says after a moment. “Not...not that I don’t appreciate the offer.” A very small tiny smile that she doubts he can see in the night. “But I simply don’t trust you.” A small shrug of her shoulders, even as she unintentionally takes a step back. She doesn’t want to be afraid but she has been for so long.
If he were to erupt into a rage, at least it would be on her so the other mare could get away. That’s the thought that briefly runs through her mind even as she stubbornly sets her jaw. “But I would be okay with going with you to see the place you call home….either of you.” She says tilting her head to look back over at the quiet mare.
Which was about as big of a leap of faith as she could make right now.