"Hey!"
Oh, geez! Right. Kid.
"You got my stars! How'd you do that?"
Well, goddamn this kid talks a lot for being barely outta the womb-- What? Dov's brows were furrowed in irritation, black eyes flying to the boy. He glanced over him, halting abruptly on that star-speckled blue that was so damn familiar seeing as how it was normally attached to him alone. His stern gaze lifted to the boys eyes, really fuckin' dark eyes. Like his daddy.
"FUCK!"
Oh god, he hadn't meant to bark that out, but no. This couldn't be happening. He snorted in quiet panic, growing edgy and feeling the tension rising in him. It wasn't real. This was Zoryn's kid, not his! His eyes slid to Diz and back to the boy again. His boy. God damn it!
"Fuck!"
Oh, he fucked up bad this time, hadn't he? "No!" But his shock and fear were seeping into that false anger, betraying the truth with redder eyes, tears starting to well up. The longer he saw his baby, the harder it came out, until he was groaning and smudging a tear off his jaw with a raised foreleg. He'd broken her. He'd cursed her. He swore he wouldn't have any more kids, not after Atrani. He'd killed Cerva by getting her pregnant and dooming her to a painful death bringing his damn kid in the world. And after his perfect, tiny Cerva baby broke his damn heart, he knew he couldn't put another on this fuckin' earth. He'd kill another mom and he'd fuckin' break apart again too.
He was the catalyst to all bad things.
And now look. Now Diz was dying too, and what would be left in her wake? HIS KID. Again. Maybe Leliana would see now why he'd run from her so damn fast, he thought bitterly. History was repeating and he couldn't fuckin' take it, and he couldn't look away from this boy. Tears were spilling freely now, choking on soft sobs because, fuck! His boy was fucking beautiful and wasn't that the cruelest truth of all.
"Oh, fuck. Oh my god. Are you kidding me??" He sniffled, surveying over the baby's sleek coat with blurry eyes. "You gotta be fucking kidding me." Oh, god, he had a kid. That was his kid, look at him. He couldn't even stop crying, taking a step closer and reaching out low to get a good look at him, as well as he could through a sheet of tears.
Fuck, look at him! So damn little. He didn't want any damn kids! He was gonna fuck it up again so badly. They couldn't stand his touch, who he was, just like Atrani. This boy would reject him too, as he should. Dov was gonna fuck up so bad. "Oh my god, I didn't fucking want kids. I didn't want any kids." He was mostly talking to himself and it wasn't helping, didn't make the boy disappear and save Dizzy from a horrible death, or worse, a life of having to deal with Dovev coming in and fucking it up any time he was near. Because he couldn't just fucking walk out and never see his baby again.
But, oh god, look at him. He sniffed. "So fuckin' gorgeous," and he was near enough to reach closer, tug his baby in against him and-- "Oh fuck," he choked hard, his shoulders shaking and nose brushing against little flappy nubs on his back. Are those fucking wings?? Are those seriously fucking wings?? "Who the FUCK!" He stomped the ground hard, another sob strangled in his throat. "What kinda sick fuckin' joke--" to put an angel's wings on the son of a goddamn hellspawn like him. He was sobbing hard, falling to his knees and dragging the kid in. HIS kid, oh god. His momma made a goddamn angel out of a demon.
"Oh, fuck," he groaned. "Get your ass over here, you little bastard," he demanded affectionately, his voice already raw and scratchy as he nudged him in and clutched him close, felt that tiny body pressed in where there was skin left bare on Dov. He jerked back the next moment. "Oh god, sorry. I'm sorry." Goddamn this merciless armor digging into his little boy's body, stupid disgusting blood gushing out of him all the damn time. He couldn't even hold his damn baby without messing the little tike up. Fuck! He got blood on him, smeared across a couple of those gorgeous little patches of constellations. He groaned, desperately trying to wipe him clean and only painting it on worse. Fuck! He was already fucking everything up!
Dovev shot to his feet again and took a hurried step back. "Oh god, take him." Before he fucking sneezes or something and breaks his own damn baby. "Take him!" He bent down and nosed firmly at the boy, shoved his little shoulder to turn him, then his little rump to propel him forward to his mom. God, damn it, he didn't know his own strength with the poor guy. "God, sorry.." Another sniff, muscles tight as he rescued his son from his own dad with a distance between them. "Get back to your momma and eat. Go on."
we're slaves to any semblance of touch
Lord, we should quit but we love it too much
