09-21-2018, 01:40 PM
Leilan
a dragon who couldn't be hurt on the outside
could have so many ragged holes inside
could have so many ragged holes inside
The moment he steps away again - breaking contact, hoping she hadn't seen that last bit - she shivers, and he wonders if they will continue to break of the romance for one another in an endless cycle of wanting and then thinking of something more important, then still longing. But he's endured it before, and it has been much worse before, so the only regret from stepping away now is that she's cold again and he doesn't really want her to be.
She has frozen into her spot, blinking away the memories, they were perhaps way more than she'd thought she'd agreed on; but he can't keep these things from her, and deep down, he needs her forgiveness and he needs her to make her decisions well-known, not half-informed like he'd led on the others and then dropped them and left. He'd used them to make himself feel good for a time, and hadn't even considered that they were in it for another purpose, a long-term one perhaps, that they would not like it if he just took from them and didn't actually, really, give anything in return.
Still, Breckin says nothing, and he's afraid that she'll say exactly what he'd been afraid of all day. Leave. But she's silent, and he just stares at her, but not her face, her hooves, her shoulder, the spots followed in a random trail, back to the ground then, he shouldn't even be allowed to look, a cycle of wanting to admire her still and not daring to - endlessly, until she awakens.
And mocks him in a tone he can't quite place. Dry, seeing the irony of it perhaps. He snorts at that, then inspects the ground before him - taking the words seriously in his regret. "Yes."
How could she ever overcome this? Perhaps in due time, if he can show her that he really has changed his ways; however long it takes, he has forever. But he certainly does not expect her to forgive him, not right away, right now, even though all he really wants is to cuddle her and hold her and tell her he'll never ever do that again and that he'll be good and that he'll do anything and he can wait and - I already knew of Briseis and Chryseis.
His eyes snap back up at hers, and she stares him down, unmoving, and he feels the shock ebbing away and giving room of even more regret now that he understands why after their fight she surely must have thought he really did not want to see her again, that he'd already moved on perhaps. As if a man who'd always just been making fun of girls but never really let them into his heart, could move on from the only one who did get through to him - but she couldn't have known that.
If he had been given the ability to shrink instead of those gleaming scales and all, he would have done so now. Or sink through the ground. He tears away from her beautiful but stern-looking eyes, unsure if he is even allowed to adore them when she's angry with him, pretty sure that was not her intend, but it gives her a certain spark - but he denies it to himself, she doesn't deserve any of this.
She calls his name calmly - way too calmly for his liking, one hundred percent sure that she will be angry, or will tell him to leave her sight for a moment, or for the rest of the year. But as he avoids her eyes she remains silent, like a mother waiting on a child that has done something wrong, annoyingly patiently so. So he'll have to, eventually. With a shuddering intake of breath, he spares her a fleeting look.
But she is smiling, not looking at him coldly. He remembers her last sentence - already knew - and he realizes that she has already had the time to think it over and apparently had already decided that she could actually forgive him. Otherwise she wouldn't have asked him to stay, or to come over, after all. It had taken minutes, if not an hour for him to settle in, but there it was. She did love him and she still would.
Relief washes over him as she attempts her humour on the situation, and he nods slowly. He almost opens his mouth to say someone already tried, then he rephrases. "Would shut me up for a moment." There's an inkling of the spark in his eye that had been lost a moment ago, though he still cringes at her telling him it was uncomfortable to see. "I hadn't actually intended the last bit..." That was the reason the last bit was so blurry; it wasn't that his mind was foggy at all, just that he'd tried not to think about it and failed miserably. Because he had known it would hurt her to watch, much more than the other things that she just needed to know about. But apparently he had to work on this mind-sharing and mind-blocking skill, if he was still allowed to stay with her.
That was why he frowned at her following words, after all. She tugged his mane playfully as if all of this was just a minor thing, and, well, he supposed that compared to the enormous amount of love he still had for her, it was, but she really just lost him there. Mare's minds had never been his forte - their bodies, sure, but he had not a single clue what it was they actually wanted in life or why they would say certain things - and Breckins was perhaps the most tangled-up of all, which was why he spent so many hours trying to unfold her words and actions into something that made sense to him. They never did, she would still always be able to catch him off-guard, saying something that in his mind did not befit him. Like 'if you're still willing to let me be a part of it'. "You've got your horses mixed up." The words fall from him in confusion, but when he looks at her, sure she will not understand what he means, he tries again. "I meant to say I should be the one worrying if you'd still let me be part of your life." A crooked smile, shaking his head to clear his thoughts.
"I know how I'll spend my future. I'll just spend it doing whatever you ask me to do." He shrugs, as if it's no big deal at all. There's never a question in his mind as to how he'll react to any command, question, or suggestion she has for him.
His eyes search her gaze. "You don't deserve the likes of me, coming with all these complications and stupid decisions of mine. But if you're as stubborn as I hope you to be, then at least I'll forever try to be deserving of your love." Because right now, he knows he has no rights, or at least so he feels, but if she's that set on keeping him around like he suspects from her last questioning statement, then he'll know how to earn that right back, and never let go.
Speaking of which, since she's come near him again, he still had promised to keep her warm, and so he takes the one stride forward to hug himself to her with his neck, knowing he's stronger and whatever she does he'll not let go again.
She has frozen into her spot, blinking away the memories, they were perhaps way more than she'd thought she'd agreed on; but he can't keep these things from her, and deep down, he needs her forgiveness and he needs her to make her decisions well-known, not half-informed like he'd led on the others and then dropped them and left. He'd used them to make himself feel good for a time, and hadn't even considered that they were in it for another purpose, a long-term one perhaps, that they would not like it if he just took from them and didn't actually, really, give anything in return.
Still, Breckin says nothing, and he's afraid that she'll say exactly what he'd been afraid of all day. Leave. But she's silent, and he just stares at her, but not her face, her hooves, her shoulder, the spots followed in a random trail, back to the ground then, he shouldn't even be allowed to look, a cycle of wanting to admire her still and not daring to - endlessly, until she awakens.
And mocks him in a tone he can't quite place. Dry, seeing the irony of it perhaps. He snorts at that, then inspects the ground before him - taking the words seriously in his regret. "Yes."
How could she ever overcome this? Perhaps in due time, if he can show her that he really has changed his ways; however long it takes, he has forever. But he certainly does not expect her to forgive him, not right away, right now, even though all he really wants is to cuddle her and hold her and tell her he'll never ever do that again and that he'll be good and that he'll do anything and he can wait and - I already knew of Briseis and Chryseis.
His eyes snap back up at hers, and she stares him down, unmoving, and he feels the shock ebbing away and giving room of even more regret now that he understands why after their fight she surely must have thought he really did not want to see her again, that he'd already moved on perhaps. As if a man who'd always just been making fun of girls but never really let them into his heart, could move on from the only one who did get through to him - but she couldn't have known that.
If he had been given the ability to shrink instead of those gleaming scales and all, he would have done so now. Or sink through the ground. He tears away from her beautiful but stern-looking eyes, unsure if he is even allowed to adore them when she's angry with him, pretty sure that was not her intend, but it gives her a certain spark - but he denies it to himself, she doesn't deserve any of this.
She calls his name calmly - way too calmly for his liking, one hundred percent sure that she will be angry, or will tell him to leave her sight for a moment, or for the rest of the year. But as he avoids her eyes she remains silent, like a mother waiting on a child that has done something wrong, annoyingly patiently so. So he'll have to, eventually. With a shuddering intake of breath, he spares her a fleeting look.
But she is smiling, not looking at him coldly. He remembers her last sentence - already knew - and he realizes that she has already had the time to think it over and apparently had already decided that she could actually forgive him. Otherwise she wouldn't have asked him to stay, or to come over, after all. It had taken minutes, if not an hour for him to settle in, but there it was. She did love him and she still would.
Relief washes over him as she attempts her humour on the situation, and he nods slowly. He almost opens his mouth to say someone already tried, then he rephrases. "Would shut me up for a moment." There's an inkling of the spark in his eye that had been lost a moment ago, though he still cringes at her telling him it was uncomfortable to see. "I hadn't actually intended the last bit..." That was the reason the last bit was so blurry; it wasn't that his mind was foggy at all, just that he'd tried not to think about it and failed miserably. Because he had known it would hurt her to watch, much more than the other things that she just needed to know about. But apparently he had to work on this mind-sharing and mind-blocking skill, if he was still allowed to stay with her.
That was why he frowned at her following words, after all. She tugged his mane playfully as if all of this was just a minor thing, and, well, he supposed that compared to the enormous amount of love he still had for her, it was, but she really just lost him there. Mare's minds had never been his forte - their bodies, sure, but he had not a single clue what it was they actually wanted in life or why they would say certain things - and Breckins was perhaps the most tangled-up of all, which was why he spent so many hours trying to unfold her words and actions into something that made sense to him. They never did, she would still always be able to catch him off-guard, saying something that in his mind did not befit him. Like 'if you're still willing to let me be a part of it'. "You've got your horses mixed up." The words fall from him in confusion, but when he looks at her, sure she will not understand what he means, he tries again. "I meant to say I should be the one worrying if you'd still let me be part of your life." A crooked smile, shaking his head to clear his thoughts.
"I know how I'll spend my future. I'll just spend it doing whatever you ask me to do." He shrugs, as if it's no big deal at all. There's never a question in his mind as to how he'll react to any command, question, or suggestion she has for him.
His eyes search her gaze. "You don't deserve the likes of me, coming with all these complications and stupid decisions of mine. But if you're as stubborn as I hope you to be, then at least I'll forever try to be deserving of your love." Because right now, he knows he has no rights, or at least so he feels, but if she's that set on keeping him around like he suspects from her last questioning statement, then he'll know how to earn that right back, and never let go.
Speaking of which, since she's come near him again, he still had promised to keep her warm, and so he takes the one stride forward to hug himself to her with his neck, knowing he's stronger and whatever she does he'll not let go again.
@[Breckin] ^^
Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
| 