09-08-2018, 07:05 AM
Eternity goes on and on.
And he’s happy. <i>They’re</i> happy, as much as one can be in a constant state of grayness. They have each other and forever in their sights. They have everlasting peace and blank stillness to fill with conversation and companionship and love.
But all the time, he’s searching for a way out for them.
He thinks of escape until the thoughts are painful, but the mechanics are beyond him. He prays for escape until the hope is a raw thing unspoken at the base of his tongue. He wills them back, pressing against Ea and summoning all the strength in his dead-man’s limbs and heart until he is exhausted. But of course, there is never any flesh to really press against in the first place, no tether to the physicality that they had taken for granted Before.
One day, he leaves her with a ghostly kiss and tries something new.
He goes to the place where his grandparents ushered him Back, where Erros had burned through. He goes and touches the end of this existence. He forgets, lets go, doesn’t <i>try</i>. And he melts back like before. Because Ea had become his anchor. He had tried so hard to bring them both back that he hadn’t realized he could come back all this time. He had tried to force a <i>them</i> when the answer had been <i>him</i>.
Ramiel turns back to the Other Side, thoughts racing on what it all means, what he will do to get her back, too, when he’s struck.
The particle of dirt lodges under his jaw and into his head. A flash of the most excruciating pain runs through him then, so much so that he staggers back in a daze. As its magic seeps into his brain, he suddenly forgets everything else. Forgets the Other Side and the woman (women) waiting for him there. Forgets his mission to bring back his wife languishing in the bleak. Forgets everything but the need for water.
So he goes to it.
At first, he simply takes deeper breathes to fill the increasing need for oxygen. But the further he goes, the less it seems to help. When it seems like he will choke on the air that has always sustained him before, he has arrived to the shoreline. And he is not alone. Other horses stand dying alongside him, waiting for a reprieve that they are denied at first. And then he sees him – Carnage. But the sickening spreading in his brain makes him forgetful of just who stands before them all, holding them back from seaborn salvation. There is no recognition in his golden eyes. He hears him speaking of a kingdom in the ocean but none of it matters. Nothing matters until he can breath again.
Ramiel doesn’t even flinch when the second particle strikes his shoulder.
Find Pangea. <i>Find Gail,</i> his mind may have echoed, had it been in a right state. Find Pangea, Carnage says and releases them into the shallows. <i>Find Pangea</i>. It becomes the only focus of his blanked brain, the only thing that matters. The charcoal stallion falls into the water and is washed over with the glorious relief of the waves. He can breath once again once the water covers his face. He dives down, fully immersed in it now, the golden streaks of his mane fanning out around his head and catching the weak light from above.
He paddles like he knows what he is doing, like his body is meant for a seafaring life. His body seems to know the destination – or rather, the particle buzzing inside his newborn brain seems to. A dark grey bullet races in the corner of his right eye. He turns and sees a triangular fin and sharp-angled body. The creature closes in on him, swimming faster than he could ever hope to. But as it draws dangerously near, Ramiel sees that it isn’t as large as it appeared before. The shark jerks suddenly and bites him on the neck, taking a chunk of flesh and leaving blood trailing in the water. He’d underestimated it. He learns his first lesson. The wound hurts but it spurs him on further and faster.
Underneath the heavy ocean that feels anything but, Ramiel finds Pangea. The alive man’s feet find purchase on the dead land.
And he’s happy. <i>They’re</i> happy, as much as one can be in a constant state of grayness. They have each other and forever in their sights. They have everlasting peace and blank stillness to fill with conversation and companionship and love.
But all the time, he’s searching for a way out for them.
He thinks of escape until the thoughts are painful, but the mechanics are beyond him. He prays for escape until the hope is a raw thing unspoken at the base of his tongue. He wills them back, pressing against Ea and summoning all the strength in his dead-man’s limbs and heart until he is exhausted. But of course, there is never any flesh to really press against in the first place, no tether to the physicality that they had taken for granted Before.
One day, he leaves her with a ghostly kiss and tries something new.
He goes to the place where his grandparents ushered him Back, where Erros had burned through. He goes and touches the end of this existence. He forgets, lets go, doesn’t <i>try</i>. And he melts back like before. Because Ea had become his anchor. He had tried so hard to bring them both back that he hadn’t realized he could come back all this time. He had tried to force a <i>them</i> when the answer had been <i>him</i>.
Ramiel turns back to the Other Side, thoughts racing on what it all means, what he will do to get her back, too, when he’s struck.
The particle of dirt lodges under his jaw and into his head. A flash of the most excruciating pain runs through him then, so much so that he staggers back in a daze. As its magic seeps into his brain, he suddenly forgets everything else. Forgets the Other Side and the woman (women) waiting for him there. Forgets his mission to bring back his wife languishing in the bleak. Forgets everything but the need for water.
So he goes to it.
At first, he simply takes deeper breathes to fill the increasing need for oxygen. But the further he goes, the less it seems to help. When it seems like he will choke on the air that has always sustained him before, he has arrived to the shoreline. And he is not alone. Other horses stand dying alongside him, waiting for a reprieve that they are denied at first. And then he sees him – Carnage. But the sickening spreading in his brain makes him forgetful of just who stands before them all, holding them back from seaborn salvation. There is no recognition in his golden eyes. He hears him speaking of a kingdom in the ocean but none of it matters. Nothing matters until he can breath again.
Ramiel doesn’t even flinch when the second particle strikes his shoulder.
Find Pangea. <i>Find Gail,</i> his mind may have echoed, had it been in a right state. Find Pangea, Carnage says and releases them into the shallows. <i>Find Pangea</i>. It becomes the only focus of his blanked brain, the only thing that matters. The charcoal stallion falls into the water and is washed over with the glorious relief of the waves. He can breath once again once the water covers his face. He dives down, fully immersed in it now, the golden streaks of his mane fanning out around his head and catching the weak light from above.
He paddles like he knows what he is doing, like his body is meant for a seafaring life. His body seems to know the destination – or rather, the particle buzzing inside his newborn brain seems to. A dark grey bullet races in the corner of his right eye. He turns and sees a triangular fin and sharp-angled body. The creature closes in on him, swimming faster than he could ever hope to. But as it draws dangerously near, Ramiel sees that it isn’t as large as it appeared before. The shark jerks suddenly and bites him on the neck, taking a chunk of flesh and leaving blood trailing in the water. He’d underestimated it. He learns his first lesson. The wound hurts but it spurs him on further and faster.
Underneath the heavy ocean that feels anything but, Ramiel finds Pangea. The alive man’s feet find purchase on the dead land.