Shooting stars cannot fix the world; Svedka

[Ilma]

I hope that you catch me, cause I’m already falling

Ilma

Her cying is a flood, she cannot stop until all has gushed it’s way out, and it takes time. Once or twice she tries to, but even when it lessens a bit, and sees the stallion waiting, stammering before her, and starts over again until she is too tired. Only then has she words for him, responding to his own stammered version of her question, and the promise. ”I, he... shouldn’t have... stupid,” As if that explains anything at all. ”I’m not... not you.” she tries again.

It’s not fair. It’s not his fault, for simply being who he is, in this case being what he is, he is simply the man who has always been part of her home, even if he hadn’t been around to greet her that first time, she recognizes the crisp mountain air scent and the winter fruits on his musky tang like no other. Svedka is not at fault. She knows this, and that’s why she cannot comprehend even herself, for reacting this way.

It takes some more time, to shake her head, to inhale a raspy breath, shaking. ”He’s gone now.” Nothing more to fix, except herself, her own mind. To stop her from being so scared of any male scent because half the population is male, and it is getting ridiculous. She’s thinking herself extremely stupid for those basic reactions, she’s tired of herself.

She sighs, inhales, repeats the cycle a few times, then deliberatly closes the distance, her eyes still red and sad but she is stubborn enough to see this through - to give him the hugh that she needs. ”I’m sorry.” she says into his mane. For reaction so strongly. For being so naive in the first place. For not running far from the man who came at her, for letting the muskiness of a male’s scent overrule her emotions.

For everything that he does not deserve.

don't let the fear of flying stop you from falling

Emotional rollercoaster does not know what she wants...
@[Svedka]