11-16-2019, 09:58 PM
----------------kiss me until i can't speak
Wild things aren’t meant to be caught, Aegean tells him, and Pteron feels his heart fall. It had been somewhere near his throat, but it surely lands in the snow beneath him, a cold hard impact. Catch me, Pteron has said, keep me. And Aegean tells him no in the kindest of ways, in that gentle voice that sets each bit of him afire even when what it has to say is denial of his affections. His lips start to move in protest – Aegean is no cage, not when nearness to him frees every part of Pteron. The pegasus has always slipped away from any sort of shackles, and yet when tells Aegean that he wishes to be caught the other boy turns him down.
The objections melt unspoken on his tongue.
His heart still beats frantically at the space between them, despite where Pteron is sure it lies in the ice and mountain grit beneath him. It is a wonder, truly, that he can breathe around the jagged wound of unrequited love so abruptly torn into his, and yet he does. He even manages to not react at all, and even when Aegean pulls away to thinks of all the things he wants that are not Pteron, the winged boy still cannot bear to put any more space between them than the overo does.
Beautiful moments, Aegean tells him, and Pteron realizes that what the two of them find beautiful must not be the same. For surely every moment he has spent in Aegean’s presence are the most beautiful moments. The impossible, he wants, and Pteron realizes with a bittersweet pang that the impossible is what Aegean deserves. No, better than impossible, and the futility of that squeezes him tightly. More than Pteron could give him; that is what Aegean deserves. Of course, of course. It stings but it is true. The violet-eyed boy deserves the stars, and Pteron will only weigh him down.
This hurts, hurts worse than the time he’d been crushed in an avalanche, yet that is the nearest comparison Pteron has for this cold impact. He will always have these memories though, Pteron reminds himself, he will never forget the way that Aegean’s soft glow seeps into his own bones and lights him up from the inside.
‘Maybe that means I want you,’ Aegean says, and Pteron learns what heartbreak feels like.
The antlered boy offers Pteron something not unlike what the pegasus shares with Aquaria – or at least this is what Pteron thinks. Friendship and fervid kisses and the occasional fuck, but never anything more. What works so well with his favorite nereid though, that is not what he wants from Aegean. He wants more, is sure that Aegean knows he has offered more. He wants to wake each morning beside him, to tell the whole world that this is his Aegean, to raise a child (a little girl, he’d let himself imagine, antlered like her father but with Pteron’s wings).
But Aegean wants something simpler, and Pteron is so head over heels that he will never dream of denying him a single thing. Aegean does not want all of him? Then Pteron will break himself into a thousand pieces to find the parts of him that Aegean does want.
“There is no maybe for me,” Pteron breathes against his white cheek, marveling that the electricity does not spark between them, so bright and sharp that he can forget the growing hole in his chest. “I think I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you.”
@[aeagean]
-- pteron --