one touch will make you so reckless you might start feeling
one touch will finally show to me what you can't hide
His quiet rejection of her sits behind her ribs.
It remains stuck between her teeth. It is a constant ache, a biting reminder of the fact that despite the fact that he does not dismiss her, and despite the fact that they have a child together, he does not love her. He does not pull her close. He does not open up to her. He does not return the same love that blossoms in her chest like a toxic flower. It is poisonous and she knows that one day it will kill her but she cannot bring herself to pull it out, root and stem.
So she lets it blossom. She lets it flourish.
The vines of it wrap around her rib cage, dig thorns into her heart.
It steals her breath and she does nothing to displace it.
The only thing that gives her reprieve are the quiet moments with her daughter. The moments where she gets to learn about the newest viper. Where she can show her how to control the hunger and talk around your fangs and control the venom that drips on your tongue.
The way to be a predator.
Not be ashamed, but be controlled.
But when she wakes up this morning, Gospel is nowhere to be found. She does not hide behind the trees and is not nestled by her side. She is gone and Adna feels a growing pressure in her chest. She feels her throat close as she walks through their home. As she calls for her. As she searches through all of the usual spots where she would go to hide.
It is only when she is certain that she is not there that she feels the panic set in.
Adna does her best to breathe around it, to remain controlled, but when she finds Beth, there are tears in the corner of her eyes. “She-,” her breath hitches and she struggles to say it.
“She’s gone, Beth. I can’t find her. She’s gone.”