and let me crawl inside your veins. I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain.
There were parts of her nature that she could never escape. It was still her instinct to see an opportunity for destruction and to take it. Emotional manipulation has always been second nature to her; she could lie as easily as she blinked, she could contort herself into something entirely different as effortlessly as her heart beat in her chest. She blended so seamlessly into the conniving side of her that was difficult to untangle herself from it when she needed to.
If she wasn’t so reactive, maybe the conversation with Brigade could have gone differently. She could have extinguished that spark of jealousy before it had the chance to grow into the inferno that it did. She could have been more careful with her craft, instead of dousing it in gasoline and striking the match. But it had been so easy. He had laid everything before her, and every thought had been like kindling to her ever growing fire. She wanted to break him, and she didn’t know why.
Him and Kensa infuriated her for reasons that she couldn’t comprehend.
She had staked a claim on Kensa, as she does most things, but it was more than that. It was true that the jealousy had first been born because she disliked delving into someone else’s mind and seeing her there, when, selfishly, the gold-laced mare felt like hers. But the true root of it, if she could just peel back the layers and get down to the core, had everything to do with Lie. No matter how confusing things with herself and Lie were, they had both felt immense guilt because of Ophanim and Kensa. He cannot read her mind, but she can read his, and always, always, Kensa had been there. She knew it would destroy him to find out that Kensa’s newest conquest – she thinks that’s all he is, at least – didn’t even know he existed; that he had to learn about him from her, of everyone.
Starsin could never love Lie fully, completely, just as he could never love only her, but she had thought Kensa did. And that, buried so far beneath the surface, is what her anger finds its foothold on.
She wanted Kensa to do what she couldn’t. She wanted Lie to have someone that didn’t stab him in the back the first chance they had, someone that was just his.
Maybe it was irrational to feel the way she did, but she always had had a nasty habit of acting before thinking. And Brigade had handed her all the ammo she needed, and like a shark to blood in the water, she couldn’t resist it. When he finally left, and he had flown in the direction of Hyaline there was no guilt to be found in her heart – only a sick satisfaction.
She waits before she comes. She wants to make sure the poison has time to coagulate, wants to make sure most of her work had been done before she arrived.
And what she finds does not disappoint her.
Her eyes briefly flit to the young stallion that departs from his mother’s side, but he is not who her attention is for. Her piercing blue eyes collide only with the topaz of Kensa’s, sharp and unyielding. She was still beautiful, even with the ghost of her sorrows in her eyes, even though the lines of her face echoed with all her hurt. She wants to press against her and tear her apart, and she hasn’t decided which she wants to go with yet. And so, she only smiles at her question – a toxic, sharp simper that unfurls like smoke across her lips, and she answers with an innocent tip of her head, “I can’t come visit you?” Her chest fills with what could have been a laugh, but it never finds its voice in her throat. “You seem...upset.” The pitch of her voice lowers, dripping from her tongue as she says in a voice so ironically soft it betrays what simmers beneath the surface, “I hope it wasn’t something I did.”
starsin
it’s not like me to be so mean. you’re all I wanted.
( just let me hold you Like a hostage. )
@[Kensa]
