07-06-2019, 07:11 PM
 I can remember a time when I was so afraid when even my shadow wouldn't follow me Elaina finds comfort in the sunset. She wasn't sure why. Elaina sometimes feels she claims to be more that what she really is, like plastic painted to emulate metal, a cheap imitation. For all her bravado, she is nothing more than a mare. She can embellish upon her accomplishments all she wants, exaggerate her pride and downplay her mistakes, but she is ultimately just as flawed as the next horse. She doesn’t know why she thinks that she is qualified to be the one out here looking for the chestnut girl with eyes as blue as ice, when she has her own demons to contend with, and she can’t even follow her own advice correctly. She’s forever telling herself, be strong, you are better than this, when she wants nothing more than to give up her composure and allow herself to erupt, or fall apart for all the world to see. But Elaina is so cautious of exposing her emotions, even when she had been in the company of either Aerwir or Lilli, the two she was supposed to trust most. Elaina always had trouble expressing what was bothering her, what emotions were plaguing her. So hard she tried to uphold this image that she could be there for those who needed her. She would be the rock, the solid ground, when they felt themselves slipping. She always told Lilli she would be there for her, even when Elaina felt as though she could not even hold herself up. The golden girl feels she had broken that promise. Elaina left, she went to Windskeep, to her own birth land, leaving Lilli behind in Beyond. So she couldn't be mad when she returned to Beyond and Lilli was no longer there. She had gone off on her own, to find herself, just as Elaina had done. For most of her trip from Beyond Elaina had been telling herself she was leaving to bring Lilli home, that was the only reason she left, and that she was going to come back, but even Elaina knew this was a lie. When she stepped over those boundary lines of Beyond, she knew she would never take a step back into those lands. It was why she had given her goodbyes to Aerwir, why she had gone to Malachi and Kalina and Aletta and wished them well. And it was why she had turned around one final time, to catch one final glimpse. She had moved away from the meadow and into a field and up ahead she hears the sound of water cascading off a cliff edge and recognition of such a sound pounds against her heart. Now, the falls here is not like the one in Paraiso and certainly not like the one in Windskeep, but there is a sense of familiarity to it that calms the girl. She watches with amber eyes as it falls into the lake below. Elaina isn't sure how long she stands there, peering out at the expanse of water strung out before her, she just simply watches, entranced by the display nature gave. But she knows that standing here will not bring her any closer to Lilli. Lilli who probably had no idea Elaina was even here. Slowly she lowers her head down to the water, letting her lips break against the surface of it, but even as the water laps against her she doesn't drink, instead pulling her head up once more. A question thrums in her head and in her heart: what was she doing here? And if she couldn't figure it out, what was she supposed to do next? She needed a sign, any sign, from any where, and from anyone. Just one sign. benjamin and beylani's sunflower-girl |