06-15-2019, 02:48 PM
She is prepared to continue to fight him. With narrowed eyes and ears flattened to her skull, she readies every weapon her tongue might brandish, anything that might twist the embedded knife a little bit deeper. She does it, even though she feels no satisfaction in doing so. It is a brief and fleeting high, to realize that her barbed words are hitting their mark. She knows that later tonight, she will regret everything that she has said. She will regret the way this interaction went, and she will regret not knowing how to make herself softer and sweeter. If only she knew how not to be so bitter, and how to rid this poisonous contempt from her veins.
But she can feel the enraged flame begin to fade, dwindling back down to just an ember. “I can probably take a guess,” And even though there is still an edge to her voice, the hard lines around her eyes have softened almost imperceptibly. She looks away, hiding the remorse from her smoldering dark brown eyes. She had never meant to drag him down into the dirt, where she was. She was well-versed on low self-esteem, because it was all she has known ever since this curse befell her. She doesn’t know if her sharp tongue and toxic words succeed in hiding it, the way she wishes they did. Maybe he sees right through her, the way she sees through him.
A part of her hopes that he does.
She wants to step towards him again but she knows it is useless. What was the point? She can’t touch him, and he wouldn’t even want her to. As usual, she has effectively destroyed any chance at friendship, just as she always did. “No, it doesn’t matter.” Of course he would choose to be alone. Just as she did. Why wouldn’t he, when this was the way interactions went whenever you finally reached out?
She can feel her chest beginning to constrict, the guilt already settling in, and she clenches her jaw in an attempt to ward the regret and emotion from her voice when she says quietly, “I’m sorry. This is why I usually stay away.”
@[brigade]
But she can feel the enraged flame begin to fade, dwindling back down to just an ember. “I can probably take a guess,” And even though there is still an edge to her voice, the hard lines around her eyes have softened almost imperceptibly. She looks away, hiding the remorse from her smoldering dark brown eyes. She had never meant to drag him down into the dirt, where she was. She was well-versed on low self-esteem, because it was all she has known ever since this curse befell her. She doesn’t know if her sharp tongue and toxic words succeed in hiding it, the way she wishes they did. Maybe he sees right through her, the way she sees through him.
A part of her hopes that he does.
She wants to step towards him again but she knows it is useless. What was the point? She can’t touch him, and he wouldn’t even want her to. As usual, she has effectively destroyed any chance at friendship, just as she always did. “No, it doesn’t matter.” Of course he would choose to be alone. Just as she did. Why wouldn’t he, when this was the way interactions went whenever you finally reached out?
She can feel her chest beginning to constrict, the guilt already settling in, and she clenches her jaw in an attempt to ward the regret and emotion from her voice when she says quietly, “I’m sorry. This is why I usually stay away.”
B R I N L Y
burn until our lives become the embers
burn until our lives become the embers
@[brigade]