a violent beginning

[Vastra]

I never knew daylight could be so violent She’s asked for her name and she stares at the one who asked - Aten - for a long time, as if looking at this stranger will inspire her brain to somehow start working again. Surely she must have a name. She’s been called grandmother and mother, mate and enemy, but none of these are really names. This puzzle is giving her mind something to focus on, however, and she is taking deeper breaths as she tries to work it out. She knows she can’t stay silent for long, so she just whispers back three simple words in response to all the words he had said. “I don’t know.” Her voice still creaks, still burns in her throat, but the soft words do come out - unless she’s imagining them. This feels like a dream now that her breaths are beginning to come a little more regular, now that the thunder of her heartbeat isn’t deafening her to all else. Another question, though from the other of her companions now, and this question - more than the one about her name, makes her feel like she is going to crack. “I... don’t k..now.” She repeats, and when her voice creaks this time it’s not just the lack of use - it’s an emotion bubbling up within her. She’s afraid. She can’t remember the last time she was afraid before she woke up here in this mess. She doesn’t fear them - she knows this much, at least. The two stallions are speaking to her with kind words, gentle voices, and there’s enough instinct in her from her past lives to not feel threatened by either of them. Whether or not that is misguided is a problem she can face at a future time, but for now she realizes just how vulnerable she is and she knows that she does need help. She just has no idea what to ask for. She’s afraid of this not knowing, she’s afraid of this form she’s taken and all that it implies. That her last life, the life of a mountain lion, was a lie. She was hiding from something, burying herself so deep within a shift that she lost herself within it. What was she running from? “I…” She trails off, a frown darkening her eyes as she attempts to sort her thoughts out - gaze shifting between the two stallions she feels she has no choice but to trust to help her. “I do-n’t kno-w this pl-ace.” She fumbles the words out awkwardly but they’re the best she has to describe the feeling growing within her. She came from somewhere like this but her instincts tell her something has changed. Wherever she was born, whatever land and family she knew before she ran away, none of that exists any more. Aten said words like 'forest' and 'river' but those are just things - there's forests and rivers everywhere. “Is…” Another deep breath and she’s frowning again, growing frustrated with her own inability to ask simple questions - or to answer them even! Why can’t she remember? “Is it safe… here?” She finally sputters out and once the words are out she slowly, carefully, folds her wings so that they blanket her and she squeezes them as tight against her as she can as though they will somehow help her keep it together. One of them does not squeeze tight, however, and instead hangs out a little from her body, even folded. She doesn’t think about the pain or realize that a few of the bones in it has been broken, just like how she doesn’t even try to stand. She’s not sure she can take anything else in right now and instead she focuses, desperately, on the two standing near her as if they can somehow help her to solve everything. VASTRA kastiel x nazaire, wanderer

@[Aten] 
@[Pteron]