[private] throw me into the fire ; leliana

[leliana]

I rise from my scars. nothing hurts me now.

Leliana feels the disappointment every time someone new meets her in this form.

It is a tangible thing, the way that their eyes light up, the way that it fades—the way they look at her with both confusion and frustration. There is a part of her that feels a stirring of something in her breast each time that it happens, something that feels like shame or regret or even frustration, but it always bleeds away before she can touch it, before she can examine it. Instead, she is left to watch them come to terms with the fact that she is Leliana, but not the one that they know; she is molded of something new.

It is not different this time, and she lets the tidal wave of it wash over Cress and then slowly fade. She doesn’t try to hurry it along, or get involved. She merely watches, her golden eyes studying the other, only sliding away so that she can look at the child wrapped around her legs. When Cress does finally ask her a question, she just nods. “I did.” As if it was as simple as walking alongside her or breathing.

And, in many ways, it was.

“i brought you here because you are my friend,” it feels foreign, the syllables almost impossible for her to truly comprehend, but right all the same, “and because you and your boy do not deserve to live with the shackles of Loess around you.” Her mouth is grim as she looks to the horizon, as the faintest hint of a frown appears between her brows. “But what happens to you next is your choice. You can stay, or leave.”

Leliana has no designs on forcing others to join her, on picking up the sword.

That would make her no better than who she stands against.

“I do not intend to let Loess continue as they are. If you feel drawn to helping me, I would be honored to have you stand alongside me.” She softens, almost imperceptibly when she looks back. “But if you want to live peacefully with your family, then I would be honored to just help protect you both.”

@[Cress]