05-01-2019, 11:03 PM
Ophanim
Her flaws have never, for even one second, kept him from seeing everything he loves so much about her. Every second he has spent staring into her eyes he has found something new, some glimmering depth for him to cherish. He wants to drag his fingers through the pools of her heart and drink from them until he drowns but she always manages to slam the door before he dives too deep. She plucks at his heart strings and plays him like a fiddle as she pleases. And all he can ever say is thank you, even when she walks away when he wants her most. Her name is carved into his heart and he put it there with a smile on his face.
But for all the love and warmth she has made him feel before, it turns to broken glass and rips into him now. Her soft velvet voice sets fire to everything he’s ever adored and leaves him tied to the chair in the middle of it all. Yet he doesn’t struggle. He doesn’t even attempt to free himself from this moment. Ophanim just hangs his head and waits for the guillotine to fall across his pearl white neck.
I thought you loved me.
He forces himself to look her in the eye when she turns back to him and he maps the wet lines running down her cheeks. The light of his life, he thinks, even as her eyes cradle all her pain and anguish. How best to answer her, then? Should he admit the way he poured gasoline on everything on purpose? He lit the match because he wanted to destroy everything before anyone else had the chance. When their fire goes out, it will be because of him and not because he wasn’t good enough. Not because he was a failure. Jenova used to tell him that everything we love eventually leaves but he never understood how she said it with a smile.
His breath shudders as he exhales slowly. His halo seems to quiver in the air.
It aches into the depths of his spine not to hold her right now but he doesn’t want to upset her any further.
“I love you more than anything in this world. I love you so much I don’t know what to do with myself when you’re not near,” he confesses, chest rising and falling like he can’t breathe enough air to give words to everything he feels. “I was afraid my best wouldn’t be enough. I was afraid one day you would find someone worth staying for and you’d never come back to me.”
He chews the inside of his cheek until he tastes blood and then he chews some more.