the firestarters always get the burns
and the good guys never get the girl
I’m not as stupid or whimsical as he seems to believe I am; but then again neither of us have seen each other for a long time, and even then only once or twice before. He doesn’t know me. Litotes and Kensa dealt with Solace or Kagerus, and I dealt with the Field and recruiting those who needed the sanctuary of a safe land. A few have found our haven in the time since the Plague started, and I certainly had wished not to have anything to do with Loess. Tephra had been a steady relationship of mine and I believed Nerine to be the same.
As I mentioned that Dawn was still in training, as well as Clayton, I see him think. I watch for micro-expressions, which is what helped me survive the politics of Beqanna so long. Surely he sees as well as I that Dawn will do well in time, as queen. Which in turn makes him a good leader, too. Perhaps more of a protector than a diplomat, which is just fine in his position and with what I was about to ask of him.
He said nothing and so I continued; a small twitch of his eye confirms to me that he doesn’t believe anything I say. If that wasn’t clear to me then, it is when he finally gives me an answer. He’s not about to forgive me for what my predecessor did to him - well, to be honest I had nothing to do with it, but carrying the responsibility of the Silver Cove now made me pursue a form of such forgiveness anyway. His questions are suspicious bordering on the accusing, and at his distaste my face changes only slightly; a similar emotion takes hold of me, though only my one ear turns back and then forth again. ”Kensa is on my list of visits, and doing fine as far as I know. She’s a strong woman. Don’t worry about her too much.” She’s doing fine, and I’ve met Amet now and come to see him as an ally and friend. To her, he is no threat, I believe. Whatever Litotes thinks she is being accused of, I am not the accuser - and I won’t blindly follow in the footsteps of my predecessors even though he still thinks so. ”You’re right about not having to like me - I already expected your allegiance would be more with Castile than me.” I see things now - I know things. But I don’t elaborate on my statement; he has a tongue to ask questions with if he wants to.
I’m silent for a few heartbeats - then I speak up again. ”I suppose it’s time you heard my side of the story of our history with Loess, if you can bear listening to me that long. It starts several years ago, before you joined us in Hyaline, in fact even a few before that.” Maybe even two years, I think? I’m getting old, I begin to notice - another reason why I won’t hold the throne for long.
My gaze distances a little before returning to him (if he’s still here to listen). ”You see, I was stolen to Loess once, just like you. Wolfbane ruled at the time, though we learned quickly that it was his diplomat Lepis who had sparked and executed the idea herself. Her attempt failed, but it set Kagerus off - there was a rather big verbal explosion from her side, as she was the Sanctuary’s only general and champion at the time. What is a Sanctuary, if it can’t protect its own from being preyed upon? Had she asked me, I would not have agreed with her methods probably - but what you must understand is that Kagerus has ranked above me since I joined Hyaline, and has been our fierce protector since as long as I can remember. She would always act harsh to make sure the Sanctuary doesn’t look like a weak excuse for a kingdom that can easily be preyed upon without consequences.”
“As retribution for my steal, I stole Lepis in return - it seemed a better idea than yelling at people who only shrugged off our warning words; and a much more equal act since we held similar positions. Lepis did everything to be a pain in the neck, in hopes we would return her, which did nothing good for our diplomatic relationship. I agreed on the term that Loess would owe us - which would have been her original intent with me. I sometimes wish she would have succeeded in stealing me, so she would have seen that I would have stayed there the whole year instead of taking such a deal, but such luck was not on our side at the time.” I shake my head. Pity. Lepis was led by emotion at the time, I’m pretty sure. Too young to have been burdened with a kingdom, losing it, and with diplomatic responsibilities. But she wasn’t mine to train. ”Regardless, my relationship with Loess was damaged to the point that I asked my queens to leave me out of Loess’ matters for a long while. When the Plague struck, I focused on Tephra, the other sanctuary we knew, and on recruiting; on keeping the wanderers of Beqanna safe from the Plague if they wanted to be.”
”Now, at the time Loess gathered it’s healers in the unconventional way, I only knew that you tried to steal someone from Loess for their own protection, but got stolen yourself in return. I didn’t get involved any further; neither would our Queens go to lengths to get you back since you weren’t being physically harmed and the Loessians stated - which was at least partly true - that your steal was a retribution for your own earlier attempt. I figured you would serve your time and return and Kensa would rule Hyaline alone for the time being.”
I sigh, knowing how naive I sound now. Too trusting. But I’d never thought my queens would turn on anyone they named their own. ”I only heard that your de-crowning was a forced one and not a mutually agreed one, in the days after my ascension to the throne. I’ve discussed with Dawn if you would return to us, and if so on what condition - I figured it would be better if you were accessible to your girls. And I’ve come to know you as a fine General, Litotes, and a good ruler of Hyaline. I would have liked to return you to a similar position,” I nod to our surroundings there, ”which is why I went to Pangea to check if anyone was still here, not a month after my coronation. As it turns out, this coincided with your challenge, and since I never had a chance to talk to you; here we are now. I’d like to rectify the idea that the entire nation turned against you - Kagerus handled this herself and we weren’t asked for our opinions. Perhaps I trusted her too much, just like you did in the past, and for that I wish to apologize.” But I can’t force him to accept such an apology. Then again, I don’t really need it to rule or to let him rule. I won’t be queen much longer; the potential he acknowledged in Dawn is reason for me to quit it and fall back into my advisory role - this time I’m pretty sure I’m with a queen who asks advice before acting like a landmine.
And he still doesn’t have any reasons to believe me, other than my word. I know. But I hope that perhaps in time he can accept that I had nothing to do with it, and neither did Dawn. ”I don’t need your forgiveness for your dethroning, Litotes, because it wasn’t something I had anything to do with. The apology I had was on behalf of the crown, because I know it wronged you in the past. But I can’t change the past, only offer you your current position, which you already took for yourself.” Factual, I waylay this for him in my neutral, to-the-point tone. Not for him to immediately answer right now or today, as far as I’m concerned, so I continue.
”You’re right, we don’t need to be friends for either to rule. But if you can stand us just a little, I’d like you back on our Council as our General, and I’d like for Pangea to be the home of our Sentries - just as the Silver Cove would house our Sheltered, and Hyaline our Speakers.”
Giving him the military base is a bit of a gamble, I know. Should he turn against us, we don’t have a whole lot of warriors left in the Cove and Hyaline. But I hope he sees it for what it is - a sign of trust, of confidence that he isn’t really against us. After all, didn’t he say he wants his daughters safe and happy?
Trust takes years to build and can leave in moments; that’s what happened, but I’m set on building again. Not for me; but for the ones who come after me. The ones who might come after her.
I’ll know soon enough if he’s willing to talk. If not, it’s a pity, but I suppose it’s not the worst thing to happen in the world.
@[litotes] Here is... explainythings (: