the firestarters always get the burns
and the good guys never get the girl
I didn’t - don’t - didn’t - trust my voice enough to call out right away; in fact I’d hoped to remain here long enough for my anger to completely fade. But it doesn’t - still lingering, it surfaces every time I even remotely think of Solace, or Oriash, or Litotes who had come to trust the Loessians who stole him and those who purposefully kept him, over us back in his home. In truth, perhaps I am disappointed in myself as well, and know that I wasn’t good enough - quick enough - to help prevent all this. Not quick enough to approach Lie right after my temporary coronation, not good enough with my intuitions and visions to know Castile was aiming for our former queens' latest child.
But then a young semi-dragon comes at me, and her ‘defensive’ way of greeting me makes me smile at her. Not in the usual warm motherly way, to be honest - but that of a mother seeing a child misbehave and can’t help but smile at it’s silliness just a little. Of course, I let it fluidly go over into the more signature warm smile quickly. I’m not here to start a war, in fact I'm still hoping to leave on good terms (though it's lessening with each defiant glance I receive). Still, I do want to make a remark at her, for the sake of perhaps teaching her a tiny bit of diplomacy - something her father hasn’t done or doesn’t care too much about perhaps. ”Outsider? Is that how we’re greeting neighbours nowadays?”
I half turn to Castile saying this - obviously he hasn’t bothered to tell his daughter about any whatever-kind-of-social-relationship we had. Obviously he hasn’t taught his daughter about who rules where and who else is perhaps of influence (if the change of crown had gone unnoticed somehow, I'd still be a high ranking ambassador in the Cove to him). Information lacking for a princess older than Oriash, if I’m honest.
He opens with a jest and, thankfully, my name so that his daughter (the relationship is so obvious) can keep up. However, I can’t say that he can wholly lift the mood with one joke. My remark is maybe not snippy in tone, but I’m sure he’ll catch the hidden disappointment anyway. ”Too bad you keep giving me mixed signals, Cas.” I smirk. It’s a face relatively new to him, I’m sure - to anyone, really. But he happens to get under my skin. One could consider that an achievement, I suppose.
In all honesty, it might have worked between us - in the past. If he hadn’t been with Solace before we met, or if he hadn’t been too busy beating himself up about it when we did. If I hadn’t restricted myself to not moving forward with someone who was the father of my friend and queens children - there had been a boundary there. If he hadn’t taken Lepis’ side more than mine in a conflict that she’d started herself - without thinking, without blinking an eye; without really asking or considering my feelings. If he hadn’t been with Sabra at the other time we met, if he hadn't threatened her for having a child she never wanted in the first place (unfortunately for him, I could relate with her too well). If he hadn’t so violently taken the Resort. If he hadn’t stolen from me… If I hadn’t been a ruler for maybe a few weeks or less, when he made that move. If I wasn’t feeling like he had betrayed me… Right about now, I could even believe he might have had a hand in Litotes’ anger towards the Cove and his (unnecessary) way of gaining Pangea - fighting instead of just coming to talk to me. Or to Dawn. Or anyone really.
Perhaps then, this rude girl would have been mine, and wouldn’t be glaring at me so much. I certainly think I’ve raised my children better and would have done so with her too - dragon or not.
But it isn’t so. These things happen, these things are, and last we spoke I told him I disagreed with his methods and am disappointed. I still do - and I can’t understand why he thinks we’re still on joking levels after this last move, his going behind my back. If he had wanted something from me, from the Cove, I would have been inclined to simply give it had he asked - but no.
Actually, he is the one who doesn't leave me alone, in that regard.
It is too much effort to keep my composure, and so I look away one moment, outing a silent yet probably visible sigh before capturing the mismatched gaze I know too well. Kind eyes, sorry eyes - but I don’t really believe in them any more. ”You have an interesting way of congratulating a friend with a throne.” I open with, much more neutrally than my reaction to his earlier joke, bordering on sadness - I look at the girl one moment; a short glance as she reminds me of something that happened long ago in Hyaline - she reminds me, simply by being a girl and being here - then back to him.
I really don’t need this nonsense of circling around the bush.
So maybe we’re no longer friends. I don’t know. Maybe I’m forced to play his stupid game of crowns and steals and challenges, and maybe I don’t want to play. Maybe I don’t need to hold in my distrust and disappointment, and so I don't. Anger and disappointment mingle and finally flow out. ”What the actual fuck were you thinking? Do you want me for your enemy?” I only take a millisecond to breath in. ”In all honesty Cas, I don’t think even you would like the outcome of that.” He may have ruled longer, but I have forged alliances across all of Beqanna for years - years in which he was still searching for himself. Can he possibly think that I won’t be able to act against him? How did he possibly think that this wouldn't be the last straw to break the camel's back?
My outburst remains short, and I mostly-compose myself, returning to the seething state I entered this country in.
”So tell me, what will you give me in return for your ex’s daughter?”
I lift my head to cope with the height difference. He picked this fight and I won’t back down. A lady doesn’t start a fight - but she can definitely finish them.