12-27-2018, 01:14 AM
His girls are happy, and safe. The sum of everything he stood for, and had needed to accomplish, right there before his eyes. He should be happy along with them, but all he can feel right now is tired. A mix of emotions rampant inside him- chaos warring within. He doesn't know how to sort it. How to deal. So he stands silently with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. It's not a lie, though, no. He is happy the twins are safe and with him. He is happy that Dizzy is safe. Happy they're all back together, and that Dizzy actually seems excited to see their precious girls. He has high hopes it's more than an act, as she had told him she'd had to play for the better part of their childhood. Her words still ring in his memory, cutting deep into his heart. Rending and tearing. He'd tried space, to heal or forget. All he'd done is make things worse. The only good that had come from anything is that his girls are safe and sharing the embrace of their mother.
Amethyst-flecked brown eyes follow the strange and beautiful child as he carries on with his father, showing off his wings and practically begging for approval. It takes a lot for him to keep his face from scrunching up. Until he sees how Dovev reacts with more kindness and.. Love? Than Zor knew he possessed. Sweet words pour from lips he'd felt ripping into his flesh and coaxing pleasure from him. He almost did that ridiculous double-take at his friend, but refrained as Dov gave his son words of support and then gentle reprimand by way of redirecting negativity into something the kid might like. Protecting the family along with his dad and Uncle Zor. Oh fuck.
He blinks and steadies himself, gaze darting from boy to man. Even as his gut tightens with mixed feelings, he plants a firm look on his face and nods to them in agreeance. But Dov's eyes are on someone else. He follows the line of his gaze to young Zoe, and his heart sinks in his chest even further. Fuck. The twins only had eyes for their momma right now, and he's glad. One good look from Zoe to Dov and then to the starry colt would tell all. If he was a better man, he might have liked to hear the story of how Defy came into the world and been amused by the likeness of it to the precise way that they hadn't known she was having twins. But it would only bring the meaning of that likeness more into the light. Just a matter of time before his precious girl would figure out the truth on her own. How fair is it for him to keep it from her? For Dov? Fuck, but he can't bear for anything to divide the twins. To divide her from him. Zoe and Zynnie are his girls. His precious daughters. He would let nothing bad happen to them as long as he could help it. But what if the bad thing was him?
He breathes air into his lungs- to sigh? to speak? But his lungs burn with sickness and his body wracks with a deep, wet cough. He groans when it finally passes, wiping his mouth on a foreleg. He is forced to take more shallow breaths, head remaining low, and his eyes finally go to Dizzy as she mutters his name. He meets her gaze, studies it for a heartbeat. He reads the questioning stare, the hint of concern for him, but there's just something missing. A void that matches what now has been rendered from his chest, aching with wounds left unhealed. He can't look anymore, ducking his eyes to the girls. Before he realizes exactly what he's doing, he reaches in to nuzzle one twin and then the other. "I need to rest. Stay here with your mother." His voice is a deep rasp, gravel to his own ears. His eyes go to both girls, then their mother, then Dovev, and lastly to something and nothing in the distance as he walks away. "Find me later." And fuck, let the pain be less when you do.
Amethyst-flecked brown eyes follow the strange and beautiful child as he carries on with his father, showing off his wings and practically begging for approval. It takes a lot for him to keep his face from scrunching up. Until he sees how Dovev reacts with more kindness and.. Love? Than Zor knew he possessed. Sweet words pour from lips he'd felt ripping into his flesh and coaxing pleasure from him. He almost did that ridiculous double-take at his friend, but refrained as Dov gave his son words of support and then gentle reprimand by way of redirecting negativity into something the kid might like. Protecting the family along with his dad and Uncle Zor. Oh fuck.
He blinks and steadies himself, gaze darting from boy to man. Even as his gut tightens with mixed feelings, he plants a firm look on his face and nods to them in agreeance. But Dov's eyes are on someone else. He follows the line of his gaze to young Zoe, and his heart sinks in his chest even further. Fuck. The twins only had eyes for their momma right now, and he's glad. One good look from Zoe to Dov and then to the starry colt would tell all. If he was a better man, he might have liked to hear the story of how Defy came into the world and been amused by the likeness of it to the precise way that they hadn't known she was having twins. But it would only bring the meaning of that likeness more into the light. Just a matter of time before his precious girl would figure out the truth on her own. How fair is it for him to keep it from her? For Dov? Fuck, but he can't bear for anything to divide the twins. To divide her from him. Zoe and Zynnie are his girls. His precious daughters. He would let nothing bad happen to them as long as he could help it. But what if the bad thing was him?
He breathes air into his lungs- to sigh? to speak? But his lungs burn with sickness and his body wracks with a deep, wet cough. He groans when it finally passes, wiping his mouth on a foreleg. He is forced to take more shallow breaths, head remaining low, and his eyes finally go to Dizzy as she mutters his name. He meets her gaze, studies it for a heartbeat. He reads the questioning stare, the hint of concern for him, but there's just something missing. A void that matches what now has been rendered from his chest, aching with wounds left unhealed. He can't look anymore, ducking his eyes to the girls. Before he realizes exactly what he's doing, he reaches in to nuzzle one twin and then the other. "I need to rest. Stay here with your mother." His voice is a deep rasp, gravel to his own ears. His eyes go to both girls, then their mother, then Dovev, and lastly to something and nothing in the distance as he walks away. "Find me later." And fuck, let the pain be less when you do.