I need that fire just to know that I'm awake
She feels lost. Not turned around, like the wood had become twisted or the stars are unfamiliar. No, she feels like pieces of herself are missing. Like there is more out there, waiting for her, if only she could find it. But she cannot seem to, no matter how she searches.
She had searched the world over now, it feels. And somehow she had ended here. She breathes in the air, a scent both familiar and foreign. It tickles at the recesses of her memories, but they remain murky and dark. Stubbornly shrouded, as they have been for so long now.
She feel as though there should be more, as though she should mean more. As though Joscelin is more than just a name to match face broken face. Someone had told her her name once. She should have remembered them, she thinks, but she never had. It still feels heavy on her tongue, like something is missing. If only.
Every day those dreaded if only’s tear around her skull, clanging to be loosed.
She remembers staring at her reflection once, trying to remember even a single piece of the story her face tried to tell. Lines are etched through every piece of her body, fissures that seem to scream at her. To say there is something more here than the surface-deep shattering of her skin.
And still she cannot remember, after all this time.
So now she stands, lost and alone, staring into the depths of an ancient forest. She is not sure if there is anything here for her. She is never certain, not in all the places she has been now. But still she keeps trying, a bone-deep stubbornness forcing her ever onwards.
Joscelin
@[Tiphon]