[mature] Darkness is needed for light to shine - Nihlus

[Nuage]

With each step he takes, he becomes more determined. It is like his broken heart – which crumbled a little further with each step – was finally building a wall to keep it from further harm. Never, ever again. That Nuage tells himself. No matter how wonderful the night had been, it was not worth it.

His gaze is ahead, into the thick bush that would lead him to the oak. Just one last visit. He notices something out of the corner of his eye, but refuses to acknowledge it. Nuage isn’t ready to face another, knowing they all said that his waiting was futile. Although it had taken the blue-bay stallion too long to realise the truth in those words, Nu does not need to hear it again. He is done.

He wraps his invisible cloak around his shoulders. Now he has his mind set, and his thoughts are not all over the place, it is not a hard task. Nuage is in control. For the first time in a long while. Until–

”Nuage…”

His name. That voice. The half-chocked, shrill sound. Is makes him shudder, and it’s enough to make Nuage’s grasp on his gift slip. He flickers in and out of visibility a couple of times, each flicker a mere second after the previous one, until he is painfully aware that he is visible and that Nihlus is scrambling towards him.

His first reaction is to freeze, unable to move like his hooves are glued to the ground. Then, slowly, he bends his neck to look at the dark bay male. Tears well up in his eyes, and just like that, the walls he had built to protect himself shatter. “Nih..” is the soft whisper that escapes past his pale blue lips.

Nuage does not move when the taller male stops before him, only ever so slowly tilting his head back so he can meet the man’s gaze. Instantly he’s vulnerable again, and there is nothing he wants more than to push himself against Nihlus, to bask in his attention. No. Turning round 180 degrees he sudden stops his hoof down on the ground, and as his ears turn to press back against his neck, his tail violently flicks through the air. “No,” he finally says out loud. “I.. I’m not falling for it again.” But his voice is already wavering.

To put weight to his words, the blue-bay male forces himself to step back and create more room between them. It only makes the tension, the attraction and need, between them grow. Nuage swallows the dry lump in his throat, attempts to, but it does nothing to ease his breathing. Nor does it calm his raging heart. But fuck, seeing Nihlus, distressed and fucking struggling to say whatever he needs to say, it only convinces him more that Nihlus is not ready.

Nuage is shaking, trembling, as the tears finally spill from his eyes. Each tear makes his anger towards the bay stallion grow, become stronger and fiercer. Nuage regrets not leaving sooner. He regrets to not have ran, invisible and unable to be followed. And oh, he regrets it so, so badly to have fallen for the man. Nihlus had become his whole world, in such a short amount of time, and ruined it even quicker.

His teeth grind together, jaws tight and ears still flicked backwards. “You’ll only run, again”. What tells me you won’t?

Nuage

I wanted it to be you

@[Nihlus]