Out with the golden we sew // Khaedrik

[Kagerus]

Out with the golden we sew, and the lower past that crawls.
Now, to the doorway you run, to the girl that's not lost.

No. In my pain and confusion, I cannot see that he is lost: for once in my life, I am selfish, inward, feeling only that which I am, instead of that which the others are around me. I cannot adjust my behaviour to accommodate his youth before it is too late, and by the time I am scrambling to recover the fragments our relationship, no pieces remain.

I pin my ears to my skull as his cry raises into a howl so intense that I am left whimpering and backing away, my tail tucked between my legs. I have only ever known my brother as one who worships me, who loves me, who shows me his true self; this monster, who cries and scream and leaves me feeling like I am black on the insides, is no one I know.

Or perhaps, he is someone whose existence I hoped I could ignore until it perished.

But we are both creatures of darkness. And maybe now I'll finally be able to admit that to myself.

When I raise my nutmeg eyes into the blackness that now swallows us whole, he is not there to herald it: I blink my eyes and cry a wordless sound, begging him to come back: but my only answer is his voice, coming at me from every angle, uttering words that leave me on my knees, stones rendering them bloody.

Don't you know?
It will kill you.

"No..." My head is shaking, I'm still surrounded by his darkness, I'm lost in a different abyss and suddenly its not a nightmare but a dream. "No!" I'm on my feet, tears streaming down my eyes, scrambling through the darkness, lost to the whispers of his shadows and to the tormenting voice that reigns in my own head.

Slut.
Worthless.
You deserve to die.

At some point, I collapse, and do not rise.
There is nothing left for me to rise for.

Kagerus

sweet nothing

Boop, thread ended :| SO MUCH ANGST.
@[Khaedrik]