[mature] things we never thought we could be, adna

[adna]

ADNA

I wish I could take the hands of time and turn them in reverse
I'd take back every long goodbye with venom in my words

Maybe one day her heart will vanish too.

Maybe she will look up and it will be gone and she will be none the wiser. Maybe she will forget what it means to be crushed by her own emotions—to be obliterated by it. It sounds like a relief to her. The idea that she could just cough up her heart and be done with it—never have to be weighed down again.

She glances back at him, carved from stone there in the shadows and then she is ready to take her leave when he speaks again. She feels something like shock lace through her veins.

“Why?”

The word is out before she can catch it, fluttering off her lips and between them. The word exists in the spaces between them and she is forced to live with the fact that she is always the first to break with him. She is always the first one to be reduced to rubble before his immovable object.

She may not be the unstoppable force she thought that she was in her youth.

But it doesn’t matter because he asked her to stay and although confusion flutters on her face, trapped beneath the surface like a hummingbird looking for escape, she doesn’t take a further step away. She takes another step toward him, caught in the gravity of his stoic face, his unfeeling ways.

Desperate—still so desperate to understand how he can live so free.

“Why should I stay, Bethlehem?”

the only way to being found is getting lost at first
but all I find are more bridges to burn