Where has Brazen come from?
Lilli has felt so lost and Beqanna has felt so big for so long that when the roan mare finds her, she is a lifeline just when the enormity of this place and its inhabitants threaten to swallow her. The connections, the histories, the sheer size of this land make this whole idea of trying to find a piece of the Dale seems like a fool's errand. It probably is and anybody else that might have heard her idea may have told her so. But the Forbidden Dale is the only thing she has to go on, the last remaining fragment that Lilli has to her family. A family that she isn't quite ready to let go of yet.
She hasn't quite figured out what she will do if and when she can discover any ties to the Dale but Lilliana hopes that finding some answers might ease the ache that still burns at the edges of her soul. As for the rest of her problems, well, there is no way to rectify those wrongs. They are entirely her crosses to bear.
She can't help herself when she beams back at Brazen. She can't help the way her blue eyes shine and the way her expression hangs off almost every word that the roan mare says. Brazen's words come so easily, come so freely and Lilli finds her own emotions unrestrained, so giving in the face of such kindness. She can't help herself - what Brazen gives, Lilli returns in tenfold. Her laughter bubbles out with her newfound friend and the grin that widens is perhaps a touch reckless. Where has Brazen come from? Here Lilli has been wishing and hoping and when her reserves have almost dwindled, when the wandering and the wondering have drained her, Brazen renews her with a few words. In these moments, the mare is truly a gift and Lilli is beyond thankful for her. "Thank you," Lilli says back, unable to find any other words suitable.
"What is your mother like?" Lilli teases back, her own blue eyes reflecting back at Brazen with impish delight. Her face warms and Lilli thinks of Aletta then, her fierce wildness, her pride, her determination. In her mind, the Queen of Paraiso is as real as she has ever been. A half-smile lingers and Lilli adds, "I never got very far from mine. I swear she knew every time my cousin and I even thought of anything that might not meet her approval." It's easy to remember Aletta then, her fire and her pride. It seems like a lifetime ago and an eon ago since she has seen her dam like that. Her expression softens, wistful with memory and gentle with love for the silver mare. Her blue eyes rest on Brazen, attentive to hear what she has to say.
It is Brazen's next question, while it doesn't cause Lilli pain, it does cause her to falter. The smile stiffens, the expression suddenly ripples and changes. Lilliana won't embellish a tale and she certainly won't lie but she isn't above being evasive. She isn't shy about leaving the past where it belongs. But for some reason, herewith Brazen, Lilli decides to share the truth. There is a pause as Lilli searches for the words, as she tries to find the right way to say this and to find the strength to bring these words to life. It will cost her something but for Brazen and to learn of the Forbidden Dale, she will pay it. "There was someone," she says carefully. A small exhale and while the smile fades, her eyes search out for Brazen as a source of strength, as if the armor that covers her new friend might offer Lilli some shelter from the pain she bears. "There was someone that I cared about," she says from a place far away, from the place where memories and regret dwell.
Her eyes glaze over and for a minute, she can't focus on Brazen. She loses herself into memories of the Pass, of Broch's teasing smile that had lit her up like a candle, to the warmth of his blue eyes as they sought out her own. "And he cared about me," she says from the void of memories. It is an aching, haunted, painful expression of loss that claims Lilli before she can look to Brazen again. She is about to say, it is my fault. It's my fault. But the words hang on the edge of her tongue and Lilli remembers that for all her sins, she was not the final nail in Broch's demise. "It didn't work out," she adds numbly as if that is the simple explanation for everything. She doesn't mention Culloden's loss or what became of her silver mother on the ridge. She doesn't say anything about Malachi and his family. She doesn't say anything more about Broch and how she wonders how after all this time why she is so easily left behind.
It is an answer that she is sure that has been given over and over again. History is littered with rejected and unrequited loves, with heartbreaks and losses. Hers should be no different. She is no different. And Lilli wants to say how badly she hopes that finding a piece or a place like the Dale might be the thing she needs to move forward. She blinks and tries to banish Broch's ghost, tries so hard at this moment to prove that she can keep going forward. "I'm sorry," she murmurs and Lilli can feel those exposed edges, those parts of her that are still so raw and hurting that she works so hard to hide.
It takes a moment and had it been anyone else besides the roan mare, Lilli would have tried to hide in the shadows. But instead, she looks to Brazen, unsure of her reaction and Lilli tries again. "My family called the Forbidden Dale home once. I thought.. maybe.." she searches again, the words catching in her throat. She exhales and refusing to break, she adds while looking genuinely to Brazen: "It seemed like a good place to start."
@[Brazen] i'm sorry you got emotional Lilli
Lilli has felt so lost and Beqanna has felt so big for so long that when the roan mare finds her, she is a lifeline just when the enormity of this place and its inhabitants threaten to swallow her. The connections, the histories, the sheer size of this land make this whole idea of trying to find a piece of the Dale seems like a fool's errand. It probably is and anybody else that might have heard her idea may have told her so. But the Forbidden Dale is the only thing she has to go on, the last remaining fragment that Lilli has to her family. A family that she isn't quite ready to let go of yet.
She hasn't quite figured out what she will do if and when she can discover any ties to the Dale but Lilliana hopes that finding some answers might ease the ache that still burns at the edges of her soul. As for the rest of her problems, well, there is no way to rectify those wrongs. They are entirely her crosses to bear.
She can't help herself when she beams back at Brazen. She can't help the way her blue eyes shine and the way her expression hangs off almost every word that the roan mare says. Brazen's words come so easily, come so freely and Lilli finds her own emotions unrestrained, so giving in the face of such kindness. She can't help herself - what Brazen gives, Lilli returns in tenfold. Her laughter bubbles out with her newfound friend and the grin that widens is perhaps a touch reckless. Where has Brazen come from? Here Lilli has been wishing and hoping and when her reserves have almost dwindled, when the wandering and the wondering have drained her, Brazen renews her with a few words. In these moments, the mare is truly a gift and Lilli is beyond thankful for her. "Thank you," Lilli says back, unable to find any other words suitable.
"What is your mother like?" Lilli teases back, her own blue eyes reflecting back at Brazen with impish delight. Her face warms and Lilli thinks of Aletta then, her fierce wildness, her pride, her determination. In her mind, the Queen of Paraiso is as real as she has ever been. A half-smile lingers and Lilli adds, "I never got very far from mine. I swear she knew every time my cousin and I even thought of anything that might not meet her approval." It's easy to remember Aletta then, her fire and her pride. It seems like a lifetime ago and an eon ago since she has seen her dam like that. Her expression softens, wistful with memory and gentle with love for the silver mare. Her blue eyes rest on Brazen, attentive to hear what she has to say.
It is Brazen's next question, while it doesn't cause Lilli pain, it does cause her to falter. The smile stiffens, the expression suddenly ripples and changes. Lilliana won't embellish a tale and she certainly won't lie but she isn't above being evasive. She isn't shy about leaving the past where it belongs. But for some reason, herewith Brazen, Lilli decides to share the truth. There is a pause as Lilli searches for the words, as she tries to find the right way to say this and to find the strength to bring these words to life. It will cost her something but for Brazen and to learn of the Forbidden Dale, she will pay it. "There was someone," she says carefully. A small exhale and while the smile fades, her eyes search out for Brazen as a source of strength, as if the armor that covers her new friend might offer Lilli some shelter from the pain she bears. "There was someone that I cared about," she says from a place far away, from the place where memories and regret dwell.
Her eyes glaze over and for a minute, she can't focus on Brazen. She loses herself into memories of the Pass, of Broch's teasing smile that had lit her up like a candle, to the warmth of his blue eyes as they sought out her own. "And he cared about me," she says from the void of memories. It is an aching, haunted, painful expression of loss that claims Lilli before she can look to Brazen again. She is about to say, it is my fault. It's my fault. But the words hang on the edge of her tongue and Lilli remembers that for all her sins, she was not the final nail in Broch's demise. "It didn't work out," she adds numbly as if that is the simple explanation for everything. She doesn't mention Culloden's loss or what became of her silver mother on the ridge. She doesn't say anything about Malachi and his family. She doesn't say anything more about Broch and how she wonders how after all this time why she is so easily left behind.
It is an answer that she is sure that has been given over and over again. History is littered with rejected and unrequited loves, with heartbreaks and losses. Hers should be no different. She is no different. And Lilli wants to say how badly she hopes that finding a piece or a place like the Dale might be the thing she needs to move forward. She blinks and tries to banish Broch's ghost, tries so hard at this moment to prove that she can keep going forward. "I'm sorry," she murmurs and Lilli can feel those exposed edges, those parts of her that are still so raw and hurting that she works so hard to hide.
It takes a moment and had it been anyone else besides the roan mare, Lilli would have tried to hide in the shadows. But instead, she looks to Brazen, unsure of her reaction and Lilli tries again. "My family called the Forbidden Dale home once. I thought.. maybe.." she searches again, the words catching in her throat. She exhales and refusing to break, she adds while looking genuinely to Brazen: "It seemed like a good place to start."
@[Brazen] i'm sorry you got emotional Lilli
but it's all in the past, love
it's all gone with the wind