02-12-2019, 01:56 AM
He scrambled to his feet and started pacing, and it was enough to make her heart sink, make her eyes close against the wash of pain as he started quietly cursing. Good conversations about the future didn’t start like that, or at least she imagined they didn’t. Had she ever really had one? God, she wasn’t sure anymore, and wasn’t that just a little too sad to dwell on right now? When there was hurt looming over her, clenched behind those perfect, kissable lips like he was fighting not to break her with what was clearly rejection trying hopelessly to find a sugar coating.
He didn’t want her anymore. He just...couldn’t stand to tell her, couldn’t find a way to make the words hurt less. She opened her mouth to let him off easy, find a way to break her own heart so he wouldn’t have to, when he spat out a hasty, “I gotta go,” and took off.
Ah, hell.
She clambered to her feet, calling after him, “Dov, wait.” Not really expecting him to listen, because...well, she knew how much it sucked to break things off with someone you cared about but...but didn’t want like that anymore. It was fucking awful, and it hurt, and she wouldn’t wish it on him, just...just she needed the words. Needed something to make her stop lighting up when he looked at her, to stop smiling softly at the thought of his endless black eyes, needed to crush any last bit of hope in her stupid, reckless heart or she’d just keep needing him. Just keep wishing she’d be more, wishing she’d be whole enough, wishing she could unwrite disaster from her soul and be his.
So she chased after him instead of letting him go, cut him off and spun to face him. “It’s okay, ba--” But he wasn’t her baby, was he? Almost, once, but...but he didn’t want to be anymore, and she had to deal with that. “It’s okay, Dov,” she tried again, stealing one more look into those gorgeous eyes that always seemed to pull more from her than she ever thought there was. “You can tell me,” she said, her voice falling to a whisper, a sad little attempt at a smile on her lips that faltered and fell as her gaze dropped to the ground. “I know what I am, and it’s...it’s okay. I’m disaster, I’m too broken, I probably couldn’t even--it’s okay.
“I’m not worth it. You deserve better.”
He didn’t want her anymore. He just...couldn’t stand to tell her, couldn’t find a way to make the words hurt less. She opened her mouth to let him off easy, find a way to break her own heart so he wouldn’t have to, when he spat out a hasty, “I gotta go,” and took off.
Ah, hell.
She clambered to her feet, calling after him, “Dov, wait.” Not really expecting him to listen, because...well, she knew how much it sucked to break things off with someone you cared about but...but didn’t want like that anymore. It was fucking awful, and it hurt, and she wouldn’t wish it on him, just...just she needed the words. Needed something to make her stop lighting up when he looked at her, to stop smiling softly at the thought of his endless black eyes, needed to crush any last bit of hope in her stupid, reckless heart or she’d just keep needing him. Just keep wishing she’d be more, wishing she’d be whole enough, wishing she could unwrite disaster from her soul and be his.
So she chased after him instead of letting him go, cut him off and spun to face him. “It’s okay, ba--” But he wasn’t her baby, was he? Almost, once, but...but he didn’t want to be anymore, and she had to deal with that. “It’s okay, Dov,” she tried again, stealing one more look into those gorgeous eyes that always seemed to pull more from her than she ever thought there was. “You can tell me,” she said, her voice falling to a whisper, a sad little attempt at a smile on her lips that faltered and fell as her gaze dropped to the ground. “I know what I am, and it’s...it’s okay. I’m disaster, I’m too broken, I probably couldn’t even--it’s okay.
“I’m not worth it. You deserve better.”