05-28-2016, 10:05 PM
As Dacia talks about family, I find myself nodding in agreement. It is certainly the truest form of love I have ever known, though my family is not related to me by blood. My family loves me far more than my blood relatives ever did, or ever could. I have no idea who my father was, and my mother had no interest in me beyond branding me with a name declaring what she thought of me to the world. My brother? He was left just like I was. Maybe we would have been something amazing if we'd stayed together, brothers by far more than blood. But we will never have the chance to find out.
“I was lucky,” I tell her quietly, staring at the ground, then peeking up at her through ashen lashes. “My birth family didn't feel that way, about family being any form of love. But my...my real family, the family that made me theirs when I had nothing, they're like that. The truest form of love. Unconditional, absolute, so much more than--” Than I deserve. Than I can bear, some days. “--than the ones who walked away. They are why I love it here. They are what makes the Tundra feel like home to me.”
I smile at Dacia's enthusiasm, my brown eyes going wide with interest. “That sounds quite lovely. Though...though I don't think I'd care to see my future,” I add, doubt creeping into my voice. I hope she's not offended, because it does sound like a wondrous thing, this tree of hers. Or her kingdom's, rather. The future is filled with looming shadows, dark uncertainties that are somehow less horrible than knowing what they hide. I don't want to know what the future holds, what is written in my family's stars. Not with Argo's hurting heart, or his difficulty running, or his fight for breath. Not after the wolves and near disaster.
The last thing in the world I want is to know for sure. I carry enough secrets; I think that one might kill me. Although...if there were a way to change our stars...ah, but I can see Dacia eying the sky, noting the way the sun creeps toward the western horizon. “Have I kept you too long? I apologize. If you need to speak to my fa—to King Offspring, I could try to find him for you. I know you have a long journey home ahead of you. Or. Um, if you need to stay the night, to get an early start in the morning? I could ask. I don't...I'm sorry, I don't really know the proper protocol yet.”
I lower my head, embarrassed to put a visitor in such an awkward position. I should ask Dad to teach me what to do in a situation like this. He's a busy man, though, and I hate to interrupt. Especially when he's on kingdom business, and especially when there are siblings to play with and entertain. Still, I should know these things. Or at least how to smooth things over when I don't.
“I was lucky,” I tell her quietly, staring at the ground, then peeking up at her through ashen lashes. “My birth family didn't feel that way, about family being any form of love. But my...my real family, the family that made me theirs when I had nothing, they're like that. The truest form of love. Unconditional, absolute, so much more than--” Than I deserve. Than I can bear, some days. “--than the ones who walked away. They are why I love it here. They are what makes the Tundra feel like home to me.”
I smile at Dacia's enthusiasm, my brown eyes going wide with interest. “That sounds quite lovely. Though...though I don't think I'd care to see my future,” I add, doubt creeping into my voice. I hope she's not offended, because it does sound like a wondrous thing, this tree of hers. Or her kingdom's, rather. The future is filled with looming shadows, dark uncertainties that are somehow less horrible than knowing what they hide. I don't want to know what the future holds, what is written in my family's stars. Not with Argo's hurting heart, or his difficulty running, or his fight for breath. Not after the wolves and near disaster.
The last thing in the world I want is to know for sure. I carry enough secrets; I think that one might kill me. Although...if there were a way to change our stars...ah, but I can see Dacia eying the sky, noting the way the sun creeps toward the western horizon. “Have I kept you too long? I apologize. If you need to speak to my fa—to King Offspring, I could try to find him for you. I know you have a long journey home ahead of you. Or. Um, if you need to stay the night, to get an early start in the morning? I could ask. I don't...I'm sorry, I don't really know the proper protocol yet.”
I lower my head, embarrassed to put a visitor in such an awkward position. I should ask Dad to teach me what to do in a situation like this. He's a busy man, though, and I hate to interrupt. Especially when he's on kingdom business, and especially when there are siblings to play with and entertain. Still, I should know these things. Or at least how to smooth things over when I don't.